


Advent Calendar 2018

by Phantje



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 25 days, Advent Calendar, Alternate Universe - Teachers, Christmas, Cute, December - Freeform, First Impressions, Fluff, Getting Together, Getting to Know Each Other, M/M, School Drama, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-04 23:49:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 77,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16799497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phantje/pseuds/Phantje
Summary: Phil struggles to find permanent employment as a teacher. His mother finds him a temporary position as a substitute which Phil knows he has to be thankful for, but stupid colleagues and not having a lasting impact on the children he teaches is not encouraging him to be thankful.Dan loves his place of work. He loves the children he gets to teach. It's easy to live for his work only. However, with the arrival of a new colleague, Dan's carefully calibrate world loses its balance.A story in 25 chapters set in December about how Dan and Phil find together, not letting bad first impressions determine their future. A lot of fluff and an intense feeling of December throughout. :)I will upload one chapter a day. :) If you can't wait, you can treat yourself with my two already complete Advent Calendars:https://archiveofourown.org/works/8716696/chapters/19984231https://archiveofourown.org/works/12877707/chapters/29416347Enjoy! Happy December! <3 :)





	1. December 1st - Friday

**Author's Note:**

> The dates in this story correspond to last year. :) I hope you enjoy! Do leave comments and kudos for early Christmas presents! <3

Phil’s POV

There was something incredibly terrorizing about waking up in a dark flat, without knowing where you are and what you are doing there. In Phil’s case remembering the answers to these questions did not make the situation seem less frightening. Phil was lying in his bed but that was the only claim to a sense of safety he had. The room he was in had been his room for only a month now and it would soon cease to be his room, on Monday presumably. For nearly as long as he had been living in this flat, had Phil been looking for work. He had moved in, happy about a new job as a teacher in an average school. A week after he had been taken on he was set free again as the school couldn’t afford an IT teacher and wouldn’t let him teach anything else because he was not formally qualified. Throughout November, Phil had a couple of small jobs at various shops, helping with unpacking or doing other similarly challenging things. He was never allowed near a customer and worked his way in the background for a lousy pay.   
The reason Phil was getting up now was another one of these small jobs. A supermarket employed him for the weekend to do the unpacking and restocking of shelves because someone had fallen ill. That was all they could offer. Phil told himself to be grateful but standing in a draughty hall or in a brightly lit isle wasn’t something he had ever dreamed to do, or in fact: had learned to do.   
Phil laughed bitterly when he got up and put the uncomfortable uniform on: he wasn’t even good enough to be employed for more than a weekend.   
Would he ever be able to find a proper job? A job where he was welcome? A job where he could stay? Not only this past month had been a constant change in employers. This past year had Phil travelling around the country teaching for a couple of weeks at one place before being sent away again. Phil had somehow managed to keep his love for teaching throughout the different schools he saw but he noticed that he grew colder. There was no use in getting used, let alone attached to the building, the colleagues or even the children. Experience had taught him that he would have to say goodbye to them anyways, usually rather sooner than later. Not that that would be a problem at this job. He had an easy set of tasks, involving no one but him and a diverse range of cans, and he had been given a concrete time as to when he was no longer employed. Everything was pretty straightforward.   
Phil hoped that he could find a way to enjoy the repetitive nature of what he was doing. He ate a bowl of cereal hurriedly and left the house, nearly forgetting to take his keys, phone and jacket – that level of forgetfulness required some skill.   
After an endurable walk Phil arrived at the supermarket. He was greeted by speakers blaring Christmas music. Why would they be doing that? Phil rolled his eyes and walked past the Advent Calendars. He stopped and frowned. Today was the first of December, wasn’t it? Phil sighed and walked to the back. A December not feeling like December fitted perfectly to the year he had had.   
Phil said hello to his temporary boss, he was acknowledged but not cared for, which was completely fine by him. A temporary colleague pointed Phil to his area of work with as little as four words: “You. Over there. Cans.” Phil didn’t bother to reply anything. He nodded and walked to an empty shelf with a couple of boxes of cans in front of it on the floor. He started working, placing each can neatly into the shelf. After filling the first section, he picked up speed, still making sure not to misplace anything. The last thing he wanted was a silly confrontation about a silly error he made.   
After three hours of restocking shelves Phil had realised three things: 1) A can of pineapple felt heavier than an equally heavy set of tuna. 2) Balancing the box of cans on his hip was easier than bending down for a maximum of three each time. 3) No matter how hard he tried, he could not block out the music, sounding from the speaker. Once he accepted defeat in that department, he started counting how often one song was played during the duration of his shift. Last Christmas won with six times, slightly ahead of Jingle Bells with five, even though they were all different versions to be fair.   
Phil grabbed his jacket, checked that his keys and phone were still inside and walked to the door. Before he walked out, another temporary colleague, in charge of restocking the baked goods, handed him a bag of different rolls.   
“Can’t sell ‘em.” He said.   
“Why?”   
“Fell onto the table in the back. Boss saw, now can’t sell ‘em.”  
“Thank you.” Phil said and smiled. The man nodded and turned away. Phil left the supermarket and walked home, nibbling on one of the rolls. One bowl of cereal was not enough to get you through a day.   
At home Phil changed the shirt for one of his jumpers and made himself a cup of tea. He sat down on his bed – there was practically nowhere else to sit anyways – and stared out of the window. Before he could lose himself in sinister thoughts his phone rang and scared him half to death.   
“Hello?” Phil asked, hugging the tea cup to his heart. He had never particularly liked answering potential strangers’ calls.   
“Hi darling, it’s your mother.”   
“Hi, mum.” Phil said and relaxed. “How are things with you?”  
“We’re great, thank you.” His mother answered. “How are you doing? How is that new job of yours? Exciting?”   
“It’s okay. Certainly not exciting, though.”   
“What is it again that you are doing?”   
“I am responsible for the restocking of shelves at a tiny supermarket.” His mother said nothing, so Phil added: “It’s a dangerous job.”   
“I know you don’t like it. Just stay strong.”   
“I am not going to quit, if that’s what you’re saying. I only have until Sunday anyways. Isn’t this uncertainty marvellous?” Phil sounded as cheerful as possible.   
“Oh darling.” His mother said. They both stayed silent for a while, listening to the other one breathing. “Have you opened your calendar yet?”   
“I have neither enough friends nor too bad a health to require a calendar.” Phil answered. He surprised himself with the haughty way in which he spoke.  
“No, silly. I meant your Advent calendar!” his mother said. “I gave you yours when you last visited!” she added.   
“Oh, right. No. I haven’t opened it yet.” Phil said and got up quickly. The calendar was in a bag at the opposite side of the room. Phil walked the two steps and clumsily pulled the ensemble of strings and bags out. He located the first bag and ripped the bag open – they were tissue bags. “A fortune cookie.” Phil said.  
“Everything is going to be alright, you’ll see.”   
“Thanks mum.” Phil said and smiled. He was touched by his mother’s enthusiasm. He wished he could share it. His life seemed to follow a pattern, change did not seem plausible.   
“We can speak longer tomorrow. I’ll call you. I gotta dash now. Just wanted to make sure you’re alright and you opened the calendar.”   
“Thanks mum.” Phil repeated. “Speak to you tomorrow.”   
“Bye! Love you!” The call ended, and Phil was left with a hot phone against his ear, listening to the beeping sound it made and his own breathing. The phone stopped beeping, so Phil dropped it into his lap. He sighed and leaned against the wall. This was most certainly the worst place he had ever lived in. There was nowhere to put his clothes, the bedroom and kitchen were essentially the same thing and you couldn’t enter the bathroom at least two hours after someone had taken a shower. Phil was relieved that he had had no friends to show ‘around’ in this place. He was in a way also relieved that he would leave on Sunday. Problem was only that he could not possibly be sure that the new place would be an improvement. He didn’t even have a new place as off now. He only knew that he needed to leave this place because it was ridiculous to pay so much for so little room and comfort.   
Phil groaned and slid down the wall until he was lying on his bed. He grabbed his phone and searched the internet for everything and nothing, trying to forget everything around him. What a cheerful start to December. 

Dan’s POV

“Guess what, kiddos?” Dan asked, grinning brightly.  
“Sir?” Adam, a polite boy in the first row, asked.   
“Yes?”  
“No one says ‘kiddos’ anymore.”   
“Actually, you’ll find that no one ever did.” Dan answered happily, earning laughter from his class. “Any guesses, kiddos?” everyone groaned but no one suggested anything. “Millie.” Dan addressed a girl in the third row. “Yes?” Millie asked, Dan had had to work hard for her to say that and not shyly stare at her hands whenever he addressed her. The sight of the smiling girl’s face filled Dan with pride. “What day is it today?” Dan asked kindly.   
“December 1st.” Millie answered confidently – that too had taken some time.   
“That’s right. Any guesses what that means?” Millie and a couple of other pupils shook their heads. “That means we can start decorating the classroom today!” Cheers erupted throughout the class room, Dan couldn’t help it and started laughing.   
Making the children wait until December 1st to put up the decorations had been difficult. Partly because a lot of Dan’s colleagues had started putting their tacky decorations up as soon as Halloween was over but mainly because Dan was most eager to start himself. With teaching the children to wait he essentially taught himself some self-discipline. He was killing two birds with one stone. Except he was obviously not killing anything. He was teaching them to treat Christmas respectfully. He was, you could say: Feeding two birds with one corn. But then they wouldn’t be fed properly. It’s really only important to know that Dan did two good things while only really doing one thing. He couldn’t start questioning the moral value of idioms.   
“Mr Howell, do you have a theme for this year?” Tracey seemed to ask not for the first time. Tracey was a very clever girl and helped to keep the fourth row relatively quiet. Dan suspected that it worked so well because Toby, a very restless and talkative boy, was either in love with her or just ordinarily scared of her. Either way, Dan appreciated Tracey for it.   
“My theme this year is Christmas.”   
“Oh really, sir?” That’s right, Dan had forgotten that one small thing about Toby: he was also far too sarcastic for his age and his own good.   
“And with that I mean” Dan continued, ignoring Toby’s remark, “that we are going to look at the different ways that Christmas is celebrated. Does anyone of you know a way that Christmas is celebrated?”   
“At home we celebrate it with a big lunch after church.” Emily said. While making the seating plan Dan had accidentally put all the disciplined kids in one row. If someone would have told him to guess where in his class that answer had come from he would have had no problem to point to the second row, maybe even Emily.   
“That… Yes, that’s is… Yes, that’s true.” Dan was ever so slightly caught off guard. He had imagined that Father Christmas would be mentioned way before church would. Maybe he was prejudiced, in a way that he thought that all his children surely only associated Christmas with holiday and presents.   
“Yes, Josh?” Dan asked Emily’s neighbour. He nearly expected him to ruin his lesson even further, but Josh simply said: “We go to church the evening before. Dad says he can’t be bothered to go before lunch.”   
Dan smiled at Josh and asked the whole class: “How many of you go to church around Christmas? Don’t worry, I’m just curious!” One third of the class raised their hand. “Interesting. How do those of you celebrate that are not going to church?”   
Dan listened to several descriptions of Christmas mornings. That was just what he needed to get fully excited. When he had woken up that morning, the fact that it had been the first of December had got him out of bed quicker than usual but the ecstatic feeling had not settled before Dan listened to different forms of celebrations.   
“Does anyone know of any celebrations that are not British?” Dan asked.   
“They call Father Christmas Santa Claus in America.” Toby said, and Dan couldn’t argue with that.   
“Okay, any celebrations that are not English?” Dan asked.   
“What do you mean?” Adam asked leaning forward excitedly.   
“Let me ask you differently.” Dan said. “Do these dates say anything to you?” he turned around to the black board and simultaneously wrote down and said: “6th December, 24th December, 25th December, 6th January.”   
“The 6th January is my sister’s birthday!” Josh said, smiling expectantly.   
“It’s also Eddie Redmayne’s birthday but that’s not of international importance either, sadly.” Dan said apologetically.   
“We celebrate on the 25th.” Adam said.   
“Yes. Who celebrates on the 24th?” Dan asked. “Who celebrates on the 6th of December and on the 6th of January?”   
“Clever people.” Toby called.   
Dan rolled his eyes and sighed dramatically. “Do you want me to tell you?”   
“Yes!” his class called back.  
“Okay. The 6th December is the day the Dutch celebrate ‘Christmas’.” Dan said.  
“Why did you do that when you said Christmas?” Josh asked, mimicking Dan’s quotation marks.   
“Because it’s not Christmas on the 6th, is it? The Dutch have their celebration on the 6th but they don’t call that Christmas.” Dan explained. “The 24th is the day the Germans open their presents – as does our Royal family due to their ancestors being German. We – the common folk – open them on the 25th and traditionally in Spain they open them on your sister’s birthday.” Dan said and grinned at Josh.  
“Why do they celebrate on different days?” Noah asked. Noah had kept unusually quiet so far, sitting next to Millie, minding his own business. Dan needed to keep an eye on him to check that he was not plotting anything.   
“That, Noah, is a brilliant question.”   
“Oh no.”  
“What do you mean?” Dan asked and frowned.  
“You have that ‘listen to my brilliant idea’ voice.” Noah explained. Dan was about to protest but the whole class was nodding already.   
“It is a brilliant idea actually.” Dan said, and a majority of the children groaned. No matter how much they pretended to be uninterested they all listened to Dan’s idea. He had rather self-importantly thought that he could be the one to write the play for the school’s Christmas show that year. His whole class was in favour of the idea (that he had already pitched to the headmaster) which touched Dan deeply. Before he could talk to them in more detail about the play, someone knocked on the door. Mel, a girl from the year above, whom he knew from afternoon activities and the occasional theatre production, opened the door and said: “Mr Howell? Mr Stevens wants to speak to you.”   
“Thank you, Mel.” Dan said over the excited noise his class was making. “I hope you lot can manage on your own? You can help yourself to decorations in that box but please be very careful and fair. Also, if you don’t mind keeping an eye on the s…”  
“Symmetry!” his class chanted back. Dan was a little embarrassed, but it was his fault really. Even seven-year olds were bound to notice that he kept adjusting things until their symmetry pleased him. He may even have made the occasional comment by the look of the class’ synchrony.   
Dan left the door open. If his class would be too loud his friend Patt would take care of it. She was teaching the same age group next door. Dan walked through the school and to the headmaster’s office. He wondered why he had been called. He had done nothing wrong. Dan laughed nervously. How was it possible that even after he had switched sides, so to say: after he became a teacher, that even now he was scared on his way to the headmaster’s office going through everything he had done in the past week that could justify this visit.   
“Hey, Daniel.” Mr Stevens said. Dan supposed he could call him Roger but he was scared that he would burst out laughing if he did, so he simply smiled and nodded, sitting down as Mr Stevens pointed him to. “I called you here because there has been a change of plans.”  
“Change of plans?” Dan asked.   
“Yes. Tim has had an accident.” At the mention of Dan’s least favourite colleague, Dan shivered. It was not like he was particularly scared of him. He just disliked him but also not enough to be happy about the accident. Dan could never be happy about another person’s accident.   
“What happened?”   
“He fell on that skiing trip or something of that sort. Anyways, him falling out means that we have to reschedule. I doubt that we’ll be able to find a substitute and in any case: there won’t be room for your play during school hours.” Mr Stevens was a master at abruptly changing topics.   
“But the children are really excited.”   
“Maybe the weekend will wash someone ashore, but I will still need you to put the education into the centre of everyone’s attention.” Dan nodded defeatedly. “Listen, I don’t forbid you to make that play. I am just saying that it can’t be our priority and that it will be a lot of work for you.”  
“Yes, it will.” Dan said determinedly. Mr Stevens smiled and shook his head. Dan said goodbye politely and rushed back to his class. He wanted to talk to them before they were sent off into their lunch break. When Dan arrived, his classroom looked interesting but by no means horrible.   
“I know it’s a lot to ask, but I would love for you to write down suggestions for what our play should be about. It’d be amazing if you could hand those to me before school is over today. That way I can start working because starting early is …”  
“… the key to success.” The class finished for him. Whoops, apparently, he said that quite often as well. Maybe he should start watching what he said.   
The class left the room at the sound of the bell. Dan was rather glad because he could correct a few wonky stars, tidy everything and add the lights he had not wanted his children to touch. This activity took a majority of the lunch break but who needed food when you had fairy lights?


	2. December 2nd - Saturday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm very excited to welcome you all back! Have a lovely Sunday! :) <3 Happy 1st Advent if you happen to celebrate! <3

Phil’s POV

When Phil’s phone woke him up the next day, he noticed that he had not moved since he had laid down after talking to his mother on the phone. That obviously also meant that his phone was now close to dying. With an ingenious way of using his phone it could survive up to two days but talking on the phone with his mother and being on it for a majority of the evening were not included in that ingenious way. In other words: he had used his phone a lot and now it was at a far lower battery percentage than he would have liked at the start of the day. It was half past six in the morning. That on its own was hard to bear but to think that he could lose his phone any second now (the 10 percent it pretended to have were usually worth nothing more than minutes!) made Phil very unhappy. He got dressed, wearing the same shirt as the day before, which had not lost its ugliness. Before leaving the house, he managed to burn his tongue while sipping his tea. Phil wasn’t really surprised, to be honest. Nothing seemed to work in his life, so why should he be able to drink tea without anything happening?  
Phil stomped to work which luckily relieved him from a good portion of his anger. He nodded to his colleagues and was nodded back to. Phil started working in a new isle, doing the exact same thing as he had done the day before, with different cans, of course.  
The supermarket opened half an hour later. Another half an hour later Phil was called into the third isle to restock baked beans. When he heard that order he thought it was highly unlikely that the baked beans had actually sold that well. Phil stood corrected when he arrived. He shook his head and started filling the shelves again. He had nothing against baked beans per se but they simply weren’t suitable for breakfast in his opinion. Judging by the empty shelves, no one seemed to share that opinion.  
Phil failed to feel any sort of satisfaction when he had finished restocking the shelves. It seemed more of a waste of time really than an achievement. Phil leaned against a wall with his arms crossed. What was he doing exactly?  
He needed a couple of minutes to remember that this was maybe not the job he was qualified for but he needed to be thankful that he had it. He needed the money and it was no harm to make time pass. Also, what else would he be doing? Nothing else was as good as getting money for restocking shelves. Sitting at home, sulking because he had no job, certainly wasn’t.  
Phil started working after that short interlude of thinking. Work was bad but not abominable. Today his temporary bakery colleague even reminded him of his lunch break. Phil had a glass of still water because he hadn’t brought anything and surely wouldn’t buy anything. Once again, a phone call from his mother stopped weird thoughts from starting.  
“I found you a job.” His mum blurred out without saying as much as hello.  
“I didn’t ask you to.” Phil said.  
“Jessica helped a lot.”  
“You know I can’t stand her.” Phil groaned. Jessica wasn’t a bad human she was just annoyingly over-enthusiastic about the things she cared for. She had little regard for any other’s interests. Unfortunately for Phil, he was one of the things she cared for. She loved to speak to his mother about him. The most irritating part of this all was that Jessica wasn’t even someone Phil had known in his childhood, which would in a way justify her interest in him. Jessica just happened to meet Phil’s mother at some sort of meeting in their village. Phil’s mother was famous for sharing quite a lot about her concerns but that had so far not resulted in someone like Jessica. Phil knew he had to be kind to Jessica at the few occasions he actually met her, but he would have preferred not to meet her at all.  
“Tough luck, she likes you.” His mother answered. She knows just as well as Phil does that the situation is more than a little absurd. “You are going to work as a substitute teacher at a primary school!” Phil loved the fact that his mother left him no choice.  
“Amazing!” Phil did not try to hide his sarcasm. The opposite was much rather true, actually.  
“I know, right?” his mother was really good at copying his tone. Phil was sure his mother had started saying something else but his phone died. He was much more surprised at how long it had survived than he was angry at the sudden death. Continuing to talk would not have resulted in anything anyways: his mother had got him a job, there was nothing he could negotiate.  
The rest of the day went really smoothly. Phil worked his way through small tasks until he was allowed to leave. Just as much as the walk had taken away his anger in the morning, it now made him considerably calmer. He arrived home with red cheeks. Phil was not usually able to tell when he had red cheeks but in this particular situation where he rushed to the bathroom and started practically screaming with laughter and the sight of the red circles on his cheeks.  
After Phil had calmed down he hurried to charge his phone. It took a while to wake up again but when it did he immediately received two texts from his mother. ‘Rude.’ The first one said and the second one, sent a couple minutes later: ‘Call me back later, need to discuss details.’  
Phil decided to have some dinner and make some tea while watching a film on his laptop before he called her back. He felt a little bad that he couldn’t make himself care about the job his mother had found him. He was thankful, but it was very much for his own sake that he didn’t allow himself to get excited.  
Phil unplugged his phone when it said that it was sufficiently charged. He had changed into some pyjamas and was sitting on his bed with a cup of tea in his one hand and his phone in the other. He called his mother.  
“Hello?” she asked.  
“Hi. Sorry about earlier. My phone died.”  
“Your father said that that must have happened.” She replied.  
“So, about the job: What exactly am I going to teach?”  
“Oh yes, of course. Everything and IT.”  
“That’s a weird way of saying that.” Phil remarked.  
“Well they want you because they are short of teachers and need help everywhere but they also really like that you can do IT.”  
“Glad to be of service.” Phil said.  
“You’re not really mad, are you?” his mother asked.  
“No. Of course not. I am thankful. I really am. I just don’t particularly like being a substitute, that’s all.” Phil explained.  
“I understand. Just to be clear: Why?”  
Phil laughed. “You don’t need to worry, mum. I like helping children and teaching them.” – even if a substitute never has a real impact on the children. Phil added in his mind. There was no use in burdening his mum with these thoughts. She should be able to think that everything was going to be fine. Also, having his mother believe he was capable of taking this on restored some strength in Phil as well. It did not make Phil forget that a substitute was exactly that, though, a teacher that took over the spot of a – potentially loved – teacher and also only for a short amount of time.  
“Thank you for everything, mum.” Phil said.  
“You’re welcome, darling. Take care and get some sleep now.”  
“Yes mum.” Phil said. He didn’t even sound sarcastic. “Good night.”  
“Good night.” 

Dan’s POV

Dan woke up, refusing to open his eyes. He knew that he wouldn’t like what he was going to see. No one would. Dan tried hard to fall back asleep but once his bladder chimed in along with other attention seeking organs, he admitted defeat and got up.  
He sat up and opened his eyes. He groaned. His little place was not only crammed with stuff it was also untidy – a most unfortunate combination. Dan got dressed in his usual morning routine. This time he simply changed from his pyjamas into sweatpants. An unnecessary change for some perhaps but the act of actually changing activated the possibility of being productive in Dan. He needed to set his relaxing time apart from his work time and if changing from one pair of comfy trousers to another did the trick, he was more than happy.  
For a few very unnecessary minutes Dan contemplated whether he should have breakfast first and then tidy or the other way around. Once he realised that he had already lost quite some time he reasoned that he could as well eat something now and then properly start with the productivity afterwards.  
Dan went into the small kitchen and sighed at the pile of dishes in the sink. He shrugged and got his last clean bowl out of the cupboard. He filled the bowl with a mixture of cereals (trying to feel healthy but not wanting to do without the sweetness completely) and filled the kettle with water to make some tea. He ate leaning against the counter. When his tea was finished he sighed and made his way back into the living/bed room. Dan sat down on a chair which was miraculously not covered in clothes and looked around. None of his students would be able to take him seriously if they ever saw this room. Dan was always preaching about cleanness and symmetry but he didn’t follow his own example. Dan knew that that was because the room at school, which he considered his own, was the room people would actually judge him for. It was a lot easier to keep it tidy for that reason but also because, frankly, Dan spent most of his time in that room. He was proud of it and it was really comfortable. The other rooms Dan occasionally taught in were by far not as comfortable. Only the library could compete and not seldom also won against his room. The point Dan was trying to make was that he spent most of his time at school and not at home.  
The lack of noise in his apartment unsettled Dan as well. At school there was always either children talking or devices humming. Dan was a lot more familiar with the school’s sounds. He knew fully well that these were all indicators for his rather unhealthy relationship with work but Dan saw himself as happy and therefore didn’t intend to change a thing about it.  
Dan finished his tea while staring at the things he needed to do. This helped him work his way through the piles. He still only finished at an unsatisfactory time. It was well into the afternoon and he had not done anything properly useful yet. The late time was not really explicable by Dan’s slow tidying. It had more to do with the fact that he only ever got up a few minutes before noon.  
Now that Dan was technically ready to work he unpacked his things on the table and stared at them. Working at home was hard. That was why he had stayed late in school the day before. His class had given him a couple of suggestions on pieces of paper. Dan actually already had the play pretty much wrapped up in his brain but he wanted them to feel like they had helped. Also, you never know what brilliant suggestions small people’s brains might come up with.  
Yesterday, however, Dan had not yet looked at the suggestions. He had marked a less fun homework for a different class and wanted to treat himself with working on the play. Problem was only that it had been too late to stay in school.  
Dan decided that he deserved a treat now and got the sheets out. The first one was anonymously submitted but Dan knew the writings of his pupils well. This one was from Noah. It said: “Angel tells story of how she is involved in Christmas: Danielle Howell.” That part was written down in a messy hand. The second part was written much neater – still unmistakably Noah: “Entirely fictional, no resemblances to any characters, living or dead.” Dan laughed, shook his head and went on to the next one.  
He jotted down a few details he could incorporate in his pretty much finished idea. Afterwards, Dan found it comfortably easy to start working on non-play-related things as well. Somehow with reading the children’s ideas their voices had come alive. Dan knew this was possibly rather unusual – being able to work as soon as his pupils’ voices sounded through his head, but once again: as it helped he wouldn’t deliberately work against it.  
Dan worked non-stop for a couple of hours. As soon as he started with little breaks he practically couldn’t stop stopping. He had stopped his productive flow and now that he was actually working on the play he started procrastinating. He managed to draft a few scenes on a piece of paper but he wasn’t happy with what he had written.  
Surprisingly, a phone call from Patt brought back his productivity. Dan answered the call eagerly once he saw who was calling. “Hello.”  
“Hello. What are you doing right now?” Patt asked.  
“Working.”  
“So am I. Well, truth be told, I am trying to work. I don’t actually work.”  
“I can see that.” Dan said.  
“I never believed in your telepathic powers, you know that.”  
“Yes, no, I meant: I see that you’re not working because you called me.” Dan explained.  
“Smart ass.” Patt said.  
“Do you want a tip on how to be able to work?”  
“As long as it’s better than the last one…”  
“It’s not my fault you can’t appreciate Swedish musical heritage!”  
“You can’t work to ABBA!”  
“Anyways…” Dan said, stopping himself from starting the argument all over again. “My tip is to read a couple of things your pupils have written. That way it will feel like you’re in school and you’ll be able to work.”  
“That sounds most unhealthy!” Patt gasped. “I want to forget these little brats and not take them home with me.”  
“It helped me.” Dan said sheepishly.  
“That honestly can’t be healthy.” Patt commented. “I am going to take you somewhere tomorrow.”  
“But I have to grade tests!” Dan complained.  
Patt muttered under her breath. It was something along the lines of: “If you wouldn’t create so many tests you wouldn’t have to mark so many tests.” Aloud she said: “Fine. But I’ll be at your door at two o’clock.”  
“Fine.” Dan answered. “I am looking forward to it.” He added good-naturedly.  
“So am I!” Patt said.  
“See you tomorrow, then.” Dan said.  
“See you, oh and Dan?”  
“Yes?”  
“Make sure you eat!” Patt said and hung up. Dan rolled his eyes and put his phone back onto the table. Ever since he started working at the school Patt had made it her responsibility to help him. To be fair, she was assigned to show him around on that first day. Her ongoing care confused Dan sometimes but he was too fond of her to mind. Patt was certainly the closest he ever came to a best friend. No, she was his best friend. She could read his feelings across a room, annoyingly, and she always knew what to say. So far, she had never not been able to help. Dan was thankful for her.  
Even now, she had unknowingly helped Dan to get back on track. He finished the fourth scene, corrected the precious ones and called it a day eventually. If Patt was really going to be there at two o’clock (which was a little unlikely given her unorganised nature), he needed to be awake well before he had been that day. He would need to take a shower and generally prepare to be ‘taken somewhere’ by Patt.  
Before falling asleep Dan looked around the room, happy that he had not yet been able to destroy its tidiness again. That was, however, not too much of an achievement, as he had literally been sitting in one spot since he had tidied everything. Still, it was a good note to fall asleep on.


	3. December 3rd - Sunday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good morning everyone! <3 Have a lovely day. :)

Phil’s POV

Sunday was one of those days where Phil couldn’t remember taking the step that lead him to where he was. He constantly surprised himself with being somewhere he had no recollection of going. He was at work but couldn’t remember going there – at least not properly. He switched isles and only realised when he held a glass instead of a can. This spooked him, and he was more than thankful when his temporary boss called him to his office. The haze already cleared a little, he was aware of opening the door and sitting down, he didn’t just suddenly find himself in the chair. His temporary boss handed him a check, said: “Good work.”, stood up, shook Phil’s hand, sat down again, already forgetting about Phil. Phil nodded and left the room. He collected his jacket and made his way home. It was weird to already be leaving a job for good that he had only had for three days. Phil was immensely relieved when he remembered that he had a job to start on Monday and that he did not have to worry for the time being.   
Phil arrived home and made some tea. He was not as tired as he had been the whole morning, which was possibly one of the reasons why the haze lifted. Phil had just poured water over the teabag when his doorbell rang. It was a good thing that he was not still holding the kettle. He had so rarely heard the doorbell to this place that the sound made him jump, literally. He walked to the door and opened it. His mother was standing in front of it.   
“Mum! That’s a nice surprise?” Phil asked.  
“Sure.” She said. Phil frowned. “Well, I brought biscuits.”  
“That is nice.” Phil agreed.   
“See!” Phil’s mum pushed past him and said incidentally: “Forgot to tell you that you have to move into the school apartment.”  
“Excuse me?” Phil asked and shut the door.   
“Yes. It would be too far, also, you don’t like to drive, do you?” his mother said completely unfazed.   
“So, I have to move?”  
“Yes, do you have another solution?”  
“No, of course not. It’s just very sudden.”  
“I understand that. Martyn is coming to help later. He will help you unpack. Just pack everything you need.”  
“Mum, I won’t be having access to this apartment after tomorrow.”  
“Well, then pack everything. Just take everything you need for the school and I’ll store the rest for you.” She proposed.  
“Thank you.” Phil said. “Can we drink tea before we start?”  
“Yes, please.” Phil ordered his mother to sit down on his bed, while he went over to the tiny counter and put everything they needed onto a tray, a tray they would use as a table.   
“I bought you a moving present.” Phil’s mother said when he turned around.  
“That must be awfully relieving for your conscience.” Phil said and laughed.  
“You cheeky monkey.”   
“I’m joking.” Phil said and took the wrapped box from her hands. He unwrapped it quickly: three sets of Christmas fairy lights. “Thank you. I do think I needed them.”  
“They will make everything look cosier.”  
“Is that your way of saying the place I’m moving to his crappy?”  
“No, I haven’t seen it.”  
“That doesn’t really make it any better.” Phil groaned.  
“We’ll be fine.”   
“Oh, so you’re moving in with me?”  
“Come on now. The job won’t be too bad.”   
“Sorry.” Phil smiled apologetically. His mother returned the smile and opened the pack of biscuits.   
“Finish that cup of tea and then we’ll start packing.” And so they did. Phil had not thought that his small place could actually store quite so many things. The hardest part, however, was to decide what he really needed in that new place.   
“How am I supposed to know what I’ll need?” Phil whined with two not-matching shoes in his hands.   
“Phil, you’re 30 years old!” his mother answered sternly.  
“Yeah, thanks.” Phil laughed. He simply followed his intuition after that. That probably meant that he took too many things but everything he needed fitted in his and everything he didn’t in his mother’s car and that was basically all that mattered. Phil felt nothing when he locked ‘his’ place and pushed the key through the letter box. This place had never really felt like home anyways. 

Phil’s new place of work looked really idyllic in the sunset. There were a couple of tall trees around the building, and the building itself looked historic. Phil warned himself that the sunset was creating an illusion, that the building would possibly look rather crap in broad daylight. He didn’t want to get his hopes up, as that had always resulted into getting them crashed these past months.   
There is one other car in the carpark in front of the school. Phil is about to comment on that when Jessica gets out of said car.   
“Mum!” Phil hissed.   
“She only wants to hand you the keys.” She hissed back and opened her door. Phil got out of the car as well. Fortunately, it was very cold outside, so even if it was clearly visible that Jessica would have loved to stay and watch them work, she said goodbye soon after handing Phil the keys.   
“I guess she can be a little irritating sometimes.” Phil’s mother said as they watched Jessica pull out the carpark. They each grabbed one box and made their way to the main entrance. Phil tried very hard not to see a sign in the fact that the last key he tried was the one that fit. He squeezed his eyes shut when he pushed the door to his new apartment open.  
“Ah, this is nice.” His mother said, and he opened his eyes.   
“It is.” He agreed surprised. The room he was looking at had a low ceiling and beams, which immediately added to the atmosphere of the kitchen. The cooking isle was bigger than the one in the place he had just left. There was also a table with four comfortable looking chairs around it. There was a window, partly overlooking a field and partly overlooking the carpark. Two doors led to the bedroom and the bathroom. Each one was an improvement to the ones Phil had left barely an hour before. The bedroom also had a window, overlooking the field but you could potentially see the carpark if you were to lean out of it. The bed was big and yet there was still room for a small wardrobe. The bathroom next door had a shower with a glass door, which was certainly a step up from the lousy shower curtain in his old place.   
“This looks amazing.” Phil said honestly.  
“It looks perfectly acceptable.”  
“It looks better than everything I have had this past year!” Phil’s mum threw her arms around him. “Hey, mum. It’s okay. You got me this amazing job. I’ll be fine.” She nodded and took his hand to pull him out of the apartment back to the car. They carried the remaining three boxes in one go and started unpacking them.   
“You don’t need these!” his mother commented on two Christmas mugs, Phil had been sure he would miss if he didn’t take. “Nor, this.” She frowned and held up Phil’s Tetris light.   
“Too late now.” Phil said and rolled his eyes.   
Martyn arrived just in time to help his mother to carry the boxes back to the car. He was not in time to help unpack. The pizza he brought made up for that, though.   
“This looks very cosy.” Martyn said, inspecting the kitchen.   
“Only the Tetris light is from me.” Phil laughed. “But thank you.”   
“You’re welcome.” Martyn grinned.   
They sat down at the table and ate the pizza, speculating widely about what their aunt might come up with for Christmas presents this year – not the knitting one, the other one! The knitting aunt’s presents were always great!   
Phil managed to wheedle them into staying to watch a film but afterwards they both left, rather quickly even. To be fair, Martyn had to take their mum to Phil’s old place so that she could get into her car and home.   
“Have a good time.” His mother said and smiled.  
“Yeah, sure.” Phil said but he forced a smile onto his face. He took a shower before going to bed, trying not to worry about the next day too much. 

Dan’s POV

Dan was embarrassed that it took him a while to realise where he was as he did not immediately recognize this tidy room as his own. It was for the first time in quite a while that Dan had laughed first thing in the morning. He wasn’t a morning person. On a regular school day, he always needed the whole journey to school in order to put a genuine smile on his face. His students probably didn’t even know that he wasn’t too good with mornings.   
Shocked about his stupidity and his laugh, Dan got out of bed and put the kettle on. He was more awake than he had dared to hope for but he needed to support that with tea. Dan quickly poured the hot water over a tea bag. While Dan waited for the tea to steep, he quickly changed from his pyjamas into proper trousers. This wasn’t done voluntarily. Dan knew he had to wear something slightly decent to be prepared to be taken somewhere by Patt. Once Dan was dressed, he got the tea and sat down at the small table to continue working. He didn’t allow himself to take a break and worked, practically nonstop, until his doorbell rang. He flinched. Dan shook himself and stood up. He was really stiff from sitting in this one position for so long. Dan soon reached the door and opened it.   
“Good morning.” Dan said and smiled.  
“Good morning.” Patt replied. “Well, afternoon rather. Sorry about that.”   
Dan frowned and checked the clock above the door. It was indeed 3 o’clock already and not 2 as Patt had said, and he never believed. “No problem, I didn’t even notice you were not there.”   
“Should I be offended?” Patt asked and got out of her coat.  
“No.” Dan said quickly.   
“I won’t be, in that case.” Patt smiled. Dan took her coat and hung it onto the hook next to the door.   
“Can I offer you anything to drink?” Dan asked.   
“No, actually.” Patt said and shook her head. She walked past him and grabbed her coat again. Dan frowned. “See! We need to get out. It felt so familiar to just settle here that I didn’t even think about it. We need to get out.” Patt repeated for emphasis.   
“Where are we going?” Dan asked.   
“A brilliant teashop I discovered.” Patt said proudly and put her coat back on.   
“Oh… Can I bring…” Dan started and quickly shook his head. “No, forget it. Sorry.”  
“Do take something to work on. I brought something as well. We just need to get out of here. That’s all I’m saying.” Patt smiled. Dan was already on his way to the table before Patt had finished. He quickly shoved the things he needed to complete into a bag and slipped into well-worn trainers.   
“Thank you.” he said and opened the door.   
“You know, it didn’t seem that weird before you just said thank you…” Patt informed him as they walked down the stairs. Dan didn’t know what to say to that so he simple followed Patt to her car. “Why don’t you ever drive?” Patt asked.   
“What do you mean? I drive to school each day?” Dan asked back.  
“Oh, yes. I mean for fun. You seem to be avoiding it, whenever possible.”   
“And your point is?” Dan asked.  
“Why don’t you like driving?”  
“I never like things I am not particularly good at.” Dan said and grimaced.   
“Poor thing.” Patt said sympathetically.  
“Thanks.”  
“Not you, your car.” Patt laughed and started the engine. They didn’t talk on the journey to the tea shop. It wasn’t because Dan was sulking or anything. It was simply that they were too busy singing along to Christmas songs on the radio as that they could have find any time to talk.   
Dan sprinted around the car to open the door for Patt. He bowed deeply and Patt giggled. They linked arms and danced towards the shop’s door. The stressed smile from a waiter sobered them up a little and they managed to sit down composedly before they erupted in giggles once again. The stressed waiter came to their table soon after they had settled. Dan was ridiculously excited about the prospect of ‘all-you-can-drink-tea’. He ordered it and added a croissant to nibble on. Patt copied his order and they both excitedly awaited the return of the waiter.  
“Look at us.” Dan sighed, having to restrain himself from actually rubbing his hands together in anticipation.  
“We’ve done worse.” Patt reminded him. Dan whined. “You remember that one time you started jumping up and down when we waited to see the Paddington film?”   
“Everyone was excited!”  
“Yeah, but everyone was half your height.”   
“That is a minor detail.” Dan said quickly. Before he could remind Patt of embarrassing things she had done (there were not as many as there were for him, Dan had to admit), the waiter returned and placed the first pot of steaming tea in front of them.   
“I’m loving this.” Dan said and rubbed his hands together, not able to contain himself. Patt sighed and rolled her eyes but she could not hide the smile on her face.   
The rest of the afternoon was dividable by the tea pots they had. For the first one, they talked. For the second and third, they worked. For the fourth one, they discussed what they had just been working on. For the fifth one, Dan went back to work and Patt distracted him every now and then. For the six one (which they only just managed to finish), Dan admitted defeat and went back to talking to Patt.   
“What was it what you have been doing just now?” Patt asked interestedly.  
“My play.”  
“Your play?” Patt asked, jaw dropping.  
“Haven’t I told you?”  
“No?”  
“I am working on a play.”  
“It’s like I’m there.” Patt said dryly.  
“But you are here.” Patt groaned and rolled her eyes. Dan laughed. “You didn’t use that idiom correctly.”   
“Thanks, Mr Howell.” Patt crossed her arms. She stared at him for a couple of seconds but then her excitement got the better of her: “What is your play about, and why are you writing one in the first place?”   
“I am writing a play for the Christmas festiveness at the end of school.” Dan answered. “It’s about Christmas.”  
“What do you mean exactly?”  
“The way different people celebrate Christmas differently.”  
“National or international differences?” Patt asked.  
“International.”  
“Wow.”   
“Thanks.”  
“No wonder they all love you.” Patt sounded genuine but Dan huffed in response.   
“I suppose they don’t have any standards they could judge me by…” Dan said. “They’re too young. And they’re good actors.” Maybe if he piled up a few reasons, Patt would see that he was right.  
“You’re wrong.” It was always worth a shot. “They all love you because you go more than just the extra mile to make them comfortable.”   
“Doesn’t anyone?”  
“I’d say a pretty good example is sitting right in front of you.”   
“But you are a good teacher!”  
“A good one, maybe. Certainly not an excellent one, though.”   
“I suppose I am over the top sometimes.”  
“That is most certainly not my point.” Patt said and sighed. “Dan, you are an amazing teacher and your students love and admire you. I admire you.”   
“Thank you.” Dan said a little embarrassed.   
“I mean it.” Patt said.   
“I meant that thank you, too.” Dan laughed.   
Patt rolled her eyes. “Tell me about your play then.”   
“Do you really want to hear?”   
“Yes, otherwise I wouldn’t be asking, now, would I?”   
“You’re right.”  
“Of course, I am.” Patt laughed. Dan smiled and briefly explained what he had written the play about. Patt interrupted every now and then to exclaim how brilliant she thought Dan was. Dan ignored her and continued his story. When he was finished Patt looked at him and started clapping – to Dan’s absolute horror.   
“Stop it.” Dan hissed and looked around anxiously.  
“You are brilliant.”  
“You said that.”  
“Honestly Dan! It’s incredible how you are going to incorporate all the different ways of celebrating.”   
“Do you think it might be too educational?” Dan asked.   
“No. I think it’s going to be one of the things that are so funny and interesting that you won’t even notice that you are being taught something.”   
“That’s very nice of you to say.” Dan smiled thankfully.   
“It’s going to be amazing.” Patt said.   
Dan didn’t know what to say to that. Expressing his thanks lost its sincerity after a while. The waiter came to his rescue with the seventh pot. Dan and Patt looked at each other and started laughing. “One cup and then we have to go.” Patt said and held her stomach.   
“You’re the boss.” Dan said and poured them each one final cup.  
“Speaking of which.” Patt said and leaned forward excitedly. “Mr Stevens found a teacher.”   
“How would you know?” Dan asked and added the milk.  
“Jess made the link.” Patt offered as an explanation. Jess was Patt’s mother. They were not particularly close. They got on well enough but only ever since Patt moved out and escaped Jess’ clutches. Now that they weren’t around each other all the time they didn’t crash as much when they met.   
“Oh, okay.” Dan said. He didn’t know what he was supposed to think and he also didn’t know what Patt was thinking.   
“She raves about him.” Patt added.   
“He’s bound to be good then.” Dan said hesitatingly.   
“Yeah right.” Patt said. Dan knew that Patt basically never shared Jess’ opinions on anything. Patt always claimed that her mum liked the wrong celebrities, had the weirdest taste in clothes and was not a reliable source of character references. In general situations, Dan’s opinion was always relatively close to Patt’s. However, Dan decided to wait until he met that new teacher in person before he formed an opinion. He felt like he owed that to them. It wasn’t good to meet a new colleague and be convinced that you don’t like them.   
Patt brought Dan home once they had finished their cup. Dan invited her in but Patt said she had some work at home she needed to do. Dan was happy enough to be alone again and didn’t try to stop her. He continued working until well into the evening and tried his best to remain calm at the prospect of a new horrible colleague.


	4. December 4th - Monday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a lovely day! :) See you tomorrow! <3

Phil’s POV

Setting a new ringtone for the alarm was maybe not the best idea Phil had ever had. He practically jumped out of bed, not used to the sound. He immediately felt dizzy and nearly fell over because he hadn’t memorised the arrangement of the furniture. Still a little wonky on his feet, he made his way into the kitchen. He switched on the Tetris lamp. His mood lightened a little but it plummeted down again when he drank the coffee he made. It tasted rubbish.   
Phil poured the rest of the coffee down the drain and went back to his room to get dressed. In the bathroom, he brushed his teeth and checked three times for any humiliating details that might invite colleagues to humiliate him. When he didn’t find anything, he walked back into the kitchen and slowly started packing his things. Phil did not have anything prepared for any particular lesson but he had some basic things he could do with anyone. He triple-checked the interior of the bag and eventually decided it was time to leave the apartment. His heart started beating faster. Somehow that only increased Phil’s bad mood. He hated himself for being nervous. This was a job like many others he had had. He knew that there was no point in being excited. People were always the same and he only really needed to care about the children and as they were always nice (at this age), there was really no point.   
Phil took a deep breath and opened the door. He maybe should have opened his eyes before he started walking. That way, he might not have run into someone. Phil had no time to react before the person started screaming. He opened his eyes and saw a terrified young man with brown hair and matching brown, curly hair.   
“Jesus, calm down.” Phil said. The scream had scared him a lot more than the collision had.   
“Sorry. I thought no one would be in there…” the man said.  
“Great story. Do you mind?” Phil asked and went past. The man frowned and clutched the book he was holding to his chest. Weirdo.   
Phil forgot about that incident instantly and made his way to the staff room. He managed to find it without knowing the way. To be fair, it was pretty straight forward – just follow the noise and go through the door all the other similarly old people went through.   
“Ah, Mr Lester, is it?” a man said and approached him. “Roger Stevens, thrilled to meet you.” He introduced himself. Phil forced a smile on his lips. This was the principle. He needed to be polite to him, he needn’t worry too much about the other colleagues but the principle was important.   
“Nice to meet you.” Phil said and shook Mr Stevens’ hand.   
“Make yourself feel quite at home. I have a timetable to update.” Mr Stevens said and left. Phil nodded stupidly and was left standing alone in a room. He was not left alone for too long. A woman stood up and approached him. It looked like she forced herself to do that.  
“Hi. My name is Patt. I’m Jess’ daughter. Nice to meet you.” Patt said. Phil nodded and moved on. Patt didn’t look like she wanted to talk to him, and he was more than happy to not talk to Jessica’s daughter. She would most certainly be exactly like her, and he did not need that. Not on his first day.   
Thankfully, the bell rang soon after the two similarly awkward encounters, and Phil could go to his room. He looked on a sheet of paper and saw a number 12 next to his name. He assumed that that meant the room number and set out to find that room. There was someone standing in front of the door. Phil walked closer and saw that it was the man he had run into earlier that day. Phil supressed as sigh and said, as soon as he was in earshot: “If you could just say goodbye to your child. Classes are about to start. Thank you.” He smiled briefly and walked past the man.   
“I’m not…” he started but stopped and simply left. Phil shook his head and closed the door. There were roughly twenty pairs of eyes looking at him expectantly.   
“Good morning everyone!” Phil said cheerfully. He scared himself a little with how instantaneously the bad mood had left him. A burden was lifted off his shoulders. He felt light and looked forward to working with children. “It’s very nice to meet you. My name is Phil Lester and I am your new teacher.” Phil continued. “Before I can start teaching I want to get to know you. Tell me your name and your favourite letter.” The class started laughing. “Do you want me to go first?” Collective nodding. “Okay. You know my name and my favourite letter at the moment is r because it’s already a word when you say it and it sounds powerful thanks to the pirates.” The class laughed again, and Phil smiled happily. “Your turn.” He said and turned to a boy in the first row.   
“My name is Adam and I like the letter a because it’s the start and it’s in my name – twice!” After Adam, everyone introduced themselves and their favourite letter. This seemed to be a very bright class. They seemed to get along and what was even more gratifying: It looked like they were eager to be taught by Phil.   
He had a very nice lesson with this class. Unfortunately, he never got around to teaching any proper material but he talked to the class, got to know them and may have accidentally taught a few things just by answering random questions. The second lesson was interesting as well, all the lessons that day were to be honest.   
At the end of the day Phil was incredibly exhausted. He knew that teaching was always quite a task – given that you were constantly surrounded by noisy children, but today was also hard because it was his first day. Back in his apartment Phil made a cup of tea, staying away from coffee due to the disappointing experience in the morning. He realised that he did not yet completely grasp the way this school worked. The bell was his only clue as to when the lesson or break might be over. The day had been rushing past. The fact that Phil had been rushing to the staff room and to a new classroom, hoping to arrive before the bell rang, surely added to that.   
Once Phil had calmed down he got a sheet of paper and started planning theoretical lessons. They were indeed very theoretical as he did not even know who he would see at what point. He really needed to make an effort to understand how the school worked the next day.   
After writing down potential things to do, Phil put his things back into a pile and prepared some dinner. He had bread with some carrots. His mum had brought them the day before. There were also a few other bits and pieces that should get him through the week but he didn’t feel like preparing anything. Having had dinner, Phil felt really tired. It was ridiculously early so he didn’t allow himself to go to bed just yet. Instead, Phil made some tea. He took the tea to his bed and opened a book. He could not really concentrate however. He used the tea to hold the page open but actually stared out of the dark window, thinking about his new job. There was not much to think about but Phil managed to get quite caught up in the thoughts. He really hoped that he would improve as a teacher over the time. He wasn’t too bad right now but, to be fair, it had been quite a while since Phil had properly taught last.   
Phil jerked awake shortly before the tea spilled all over his book. He quickly drank the mildly warm tea and then placed the mug and book onto the bedside table. He switched off the light and fell asleep, in a mercifully easy way – he had already run through all the thoughts that could have potentially kept him awake. 

Dan’s POV

Dan woke up and was ready earlier than usual on a Monday morning. Not all teacher changes affected him a lot. To be honest, none had so far but there was something different about this change. The teacher that had had an accident, Tim, was Dan’s least favourite colleague. He supposed you could also call him Dan’s bully but that might have been just about a tad too much. Tim was very happy about the person he was and he loved to show that. He also loved to demonstrate his power by ordering other people around. Dan was the youngest member of staff and therefore the only one that Tim managed to intimidate. Patt had urged Dan to resist the bad treatment he suffered under Tim, but Dan had soon realised for himself that it was easier to comply than to fight against the ridiculous tasks, Tim set Dan on top of everything else.   
Dan did not know what to think when he had heard about Tim’s accident. Accidents weren’t nice for anyone. It wasn’t like Dan had to prevent himself from feeling happy. He wasn’t happy but he also didn’t know what he was. Just as much as he didn’t want to be happy, he didn’t want to be excited. A new colleague did not necessarily mean an improvement – that, he needed to remind himself off.   
In the end Dan tried to feel nothing and start the day as he would any other day. Needless to say, that that did not work whatsoever. He felt weirdly giddy when he parked his car in front of the school and weirdly scared when he walked into the school, fearing that he might just run into the new colleague. Never would he have guessed that that was what would happen exactly. Dan had just put his bag into his little spot in the staff room and the things he needed into his classroom. Now he was on the way to take a book he had borrowed back to the library when someone ran into him. Dan’s immediate reaction was to start screaming, which he immediately regretted.   
“Jesus, calm down.” The man said and looked annoyed.   
“Sorry. I thought no one would be in there…” Dan apologised. He only now realised where he was. The apology had been more of a reflex. But now that he knew that he was standing in front of what used to be an apartment for teachers, he knew that he had been right to say that he had thought no one would be there.  
All the while that Dan had these thoughts, the annoyed look on the man’s face had grown worse until he eventually said: “Great story. Do you mind?” He went past Dan. Dan was surprised and needed a moment to collect himself and to remember where he wanted to go. He put the book back where it belonged. Dan took a few deep breaths in the library and rubbed his temples. Dan was annoyed with himself that the small meeting had been enough to throw him off his track completely. He didn’t know where to go or what to do. He checked his watch and saw that there wasn’t a lot of time before the lesson would start.   
Dan left the library and passed his class in another room. He stopped and chatted to them. Actually, there was not much time and all he could do was reply to all the joyous good mornings from his students. The bell rang, and Dan tried to tear himself from his pupils’ clutches. Just as he was about to leave the man he had run into walked towards the door.   
The look on his face was neutral when he said: “If you could just say goodbye to your child. Classes are about to start. Thank you.” There was an ever so brief smile as he walked past Dan into the room.   
“I’m not…” Dan started but decided not to finish. The man had been neither polite nor downright rude, so Dan decided to do the same. He didn’t owe him anything.   
Even though Dan was proud of his sudden departure, the encounters did not leave him unfazed. He was actually quite shaken up. The first class was possibly one of the worst he has ever given and the second was only slightly better.   
At lunch Dan talked to Patt for a long time and managed to feel like himself again. Seeing the man in the line for lunch made him jump a little.   
“Patt. Have you met that new teacher yet?” Dan asked. He tried to be nonchalant but he had a feeling that that wasn’t his strong suit.   
“I have, yes.” Patt said. “Look at him…” she said. Dan’s heart sunk when he saw that she was looking in the exact same direction as he was.  
“You don’t like him?” Dan asked.   
“I don’t know him but I doubt that he can be any good when Jess is so enthusiastic about him.”  
“You can’t be so prejudiced.” Dan said even though he was relieved that his opinion did not seem too far off.  
“You’re right but he wasn’t especially nice when I introduced myself.” Patt defended herself. “We’ll see what he’s like.” She added, and Dan left it at that.   
The lessons after lunch were a lot better. Dan was calm and could properly engage with his pupils. A good day was a day where he learned from his pupils and they from him.   
After school Dan went into the library. He simply didn’t feel like going home. In the library, Dan put his things into the small corner he usually sat, at the far back, hidden behind a science bookshelf. He then walked through the library and collected books that lay shattered around. A majority of those books, he put back into the shelves himself. The rest he couldn’t find instantly, he brought to Maddy. Maddy was the school librarian. She was actually already retired but there was no one to take over her position and she claimed to enjoy it. Dan was able to understand her. Even if the room itself was rather hideous, the books added an alluring charm to it – you could spend hours in here not noticing that any time passed, at least Dan could.   
After restoring the library’s order, Dan sat down in the corner and started looking at homework, he had collected from his class. He was halfway through the second bunch of homework when Maddy came to him. She cleared her throat and smiled at him.  
“Maddy.” Dan said and returned the smile.  
“It’s good to see you again.” Maddy said. Dan didn’t point out that they saw each other practically every day. He decided to enjoy the possibility that someone actually liked his company.   
“What can I do for you?” Dan asked.   
“Mr Stevens sent me to give you a message.” Maddy said. Dan nodded. “He wants you to show the new teacher around.”   
“Amazing.” Dan groaned.  
“Sorry.”  
“It’s not your fault.” Dan smiled quickly. “I’ll be alright.” He said and pushed his hair out of his face, already bracing himself for what was to come.  
“I’m sure you will be.” Maddy said with a confused smile. “Could I ask you a favour?”  
“Anything.”  
“Could you close the library when you’re done? I have to go to a bridge meeting.”   
“I’m keeping you. Sorry. Of course, I will.” Dan assured her.  
“You’re a darling. Thank you.” Maddy said and hurried over to her desk where she grabbed her things and left. She must have built up courage to ask him the questions, Dan immediately felt bad.   
After Maddy had left, Dan only finished the second homework and then headed home. He made sure that all the windows were closed, the books in their shelves, the heaters on 1 and the lights off, before he locked the door and ran to his car, the icy air biting through his clothes.   
Once he arrived home, Dan took a quick shower and got into bed. He was still cold but he also still had to plan some lessons for the next day and have dinner. When he had done all that, he wondered what he was supposed to show that new teacher. He would take him around the school, point out all the important things (possibly not dwell on the library to ensure that he wouldn’t think of coming there) and then answer questions. There was nothing he could prepare for that task so he switched his lights off and went to sleep.


	5. December 5th - Tuesday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good morning everyone! Have a lovely 5th of December. :) <3

Phil’s POV

Tuesday morning was in a way harder and in a way a lot easier than Monday had been. Phil’s heart did not stop beating at the sound of his new alarm sound (it wasn’t new any longer, that was the point!) and he managed to get up without feeling he had overestimated his abilities in taking this job. Phil still wouldn’t consider himself good at mornings but he didn’t feel quite as horrible. He was actually nearly enthusiastic.   
The enthusiasm left Phil basically as soon as he walked into the staff room. A few people smiled at him. It wasn’t the lack of friendly smiles all around that bothered him. The atmosphere bothered him. Everything was dark and looked gloomy. How did the teachers suppose they could create a fun learning environment if their own looked like this? Phil was disappointed in his new colleagues but he was also relieved that he set himself apart from them.   
Phil was studying the room plan when he saw a figure approaching out of the corner of his eyes. He turned and saw the man he had run into twice yesterday, once literally. Phil needed a second to understand that the man was in fact a teacher and not a parent as he had assumed. Technically, it wasn’t Phil’s fault: which teacher was lurking around another teacher’s class? Everyone would have assumed he was a parent!  
“I’m Dan, hello.” The man said with a weak-ish smile.   
Phil frowned but answered: “Phil Lester.”   
“I was told to show you around.” The smile on his face was no longer merely weak it looked pathetic. Phil couldn’t help thinking that this Dan had no clue about anything and that his classes and teaching were disastrous.   
“Thank you.” Phil said courtly.   
“Should we go then?” Dan asked. He didn’t seem too enthusiastic. At least, that would mean that the tour wouldn’t take forever, Phil thought. “This is the staff room.” Dan said and pointed around. Phil bit his tongue and supressed a clever comment. “I advise you just pick a seat and if no one pushes you from it you can consider it your own.”   
“Don’t you have offices?” Phil asked, genuinely curious.  
“I’m not sure what kind of posh private school you are used to but we don’t have individual offices.” Dan huffed. “A handful of people do, I grant you but the majority can consider themselves lucky if we have our own classroom.”   
“He’s the posh one.” Phil mumbled, quiet enough that Dan should not be able to hear him.   
“Over here you can see where you are needed during the day.” Dan continued, proving Phil right that he didn’t hear him.  
“Oh, wow, how could I have ever figured that out myself?” Phil mumbled, voice dripping with sarcasm.   
“If you go this way,” Dan said and walked ahead of him. “you’ll reach the library and on the way there the room with the printers.” He briefly pointed into the two rooms and then walked on to the big hall and the cafeteria. Phil quietly commented what a surprise it was to see a cafeteria, as he had been there the day before.   
The tour finished in front of the staff room. “Do you have any questions?” Dan asked.   
“The staff toilets?” Phil asked neutrally – neither rude nor particularly polite.   
“Second door on the left.” Dan pointed. “Oh, something that might be interesting to know: In the morning, we have two double lessons, then lunch and then three single lessons in the afternoon.” That was actually some useful information, Phil had to admit.  
“Thanks.” He said and walked back into the staff room. He collected his things, double checked that he was heading to the correct room and left – as quickly away from his colleagues as possible. He felt truly sorry for the children that were taught at the school.   
Just as it had the day before, Phil’s mood immediately lightened when he approached his class room. He was once again teaching the class he had had in the first lesson the day before. He didn’t know everyone by name just yet but he felt easy around them all. When he stood at the black board, wanting to start the lesson, the class was busy chattering about something, they all sounded very excited.  
“What are you so excited about?” Phil asked.   
“Sorry.” The whispering children said.   
“No, I’m only curious!” Phil said quickly.  
“Mr Howell told us he was nearly done with the play!” A play? Maybe that Mr Howell was the only sensible colleague Phil had. The children seemed to like him after all and someone that was writing or arranging a play couldn’t be as disastrously slow as his other colleagues.   
“Mr Howell?” Phil asked. He hoped that the children wouldn’t pick up on his weird interest.   
“Yes! He wrote the play!” Tracey said. Phil knew her name because she had helped him keep Toby quiet the day before.   
“Did he?” Phil asked. There was not a hint of sarcasm in his voice. Why should there be? Phil was genuinely impressed. “Who is going to play in it?” Phil asked, and three thirds of the class raised their hands. “I’m looking forward to it.” Phil said and gracefully introduced the topic he actually wanted to talk about. He would have loved to find out more about that Mr Howell guy but he feared that his questions would be too revealing.   
Phil would probably never say this to anyone but the brief tour of Dan did help him. The day didn’t seem as confusing and he managed to use the small breaks. He wasn’t even too shocked by the early bells in the afternoon as he now knew for sure that he had to teach three and not only two classes. Phil did wonder how the school had thought they could just make him take the plunge with no preparations whatsoever.   
Phil gathered his things up in the staff room – the breaks were not long enough for him to have put everything neatly into piles – and walked to his apartment. He saw that he had actually walked past the library quite a few times already. The door wasn’t exactly revealing so it wasn’t a surprise that he hadn’t realised before. Now, however, the door was slightly ajar. Phil peeked inside and saw that Dan was walking around the shelves, picking up books. Did he want to steal them? Would he pile them up and pretend to have read them? Phil soon lost interest and walked on to his door. He unlocked it, walked inside and closed it quickly. He liked the children but he wasn’t too great a fan of the school itself. It was good to have time on his own again.   
Phil used that time to take a long shower and prepare some dinner. There was still nothing exciting in his fridge but he was thankful that there was something and ate while listening to music on his computer. He accidentally let his thoughts wander a little while doing so, thinking who this Mr Howell might be. It was most certainly dangerous to be putting all his hope in a decent colleague into one person. Phil tried to keep his excitement at bay but he sensed that, even if he wasn’t too excited in the evening, he couldn’t be sure that that would be the case in the morning.

Dan’s POV

Dan was not particularly fond of Mr Stevens that morning. Ever since he had woken up, Dan had felt uneasy about showing the new colleague around. It felt a bit like at the times when he had to take important exams. It wasn’t a good feeling and Dan could have very well done without it.   
When he stepped through the school doors, Dan wondered if he should have prepared something. Starting early was the key to success after all. Dan groaned. As if his mantras would work on himself.   
Dan walked into the staff room and saw the new colleague. For a split second, he wondered if he could possibly get out of the situation in any way. He knew he couldn’t but the thought that made him approach the man was that if Dan did this without complaining he had a valid reason to insist on putting on the play. Mr Stevens was in a sense in Dan’s debt and that was precisely what Dan needed.   
Dan put on a smile that was honest enough and said: “I’m Dan, hello.”   
The man frowned and answered shortly: “Phil Lester.”   
“I was told to show you around.” Dan explained. It was obvious that that Lester guy had no idea why he had been addressed.   
“Thank you.”   
“Should we go then?” There was no visible complaint on Lester’s side so Dan started: “This is the staff room. I advise you just pick a seat and if no one pushes you from it you can consider it your own.”   
“Don’t you have offices?” Phil asked, possibly not aware of the snobbish tone in his voice.   
“I’m not sure what kind of posh private school you are used to but we don’t have individual offices.” Dan couldn’t stop himself. He remembered early enough that he needed to do an okay job in order to be able to blackmail Mr Stevens so he added, a little friendlier: “A handful of people do, I grant you but the majority can consider themselves lucky if we have our own classroom.”   
“He’s the posh one.” Dan stopped for a second not sure how to react. Not reacting at all would be the easiest so he continued with the tour. “Over here you can see where you are needed during the day  
“Oh, wow, how could I have ever figured that out myself?” Ignoring a second comment was not as easy. Dan would have theoretically loved to give that guy a piece of his mind but realistically, he’d never been able to do it and he still had his play in mind as well. “If you go this way, you’ll reach the library and on the way there the room with the printers.” Dan figured that he could endure this tour more easily if he was walking in front of the guy and wouldn’t have to see him. Just as he had planned, he only briefly pointed to the printers’ room and library. For the remaining stations of the tour Dan took care to hardly ever look at Lester. He sped through all the important things and only consciously breathed after having arrived at the staff room again. “Do you have any questions?” he asked.   
“The staff toilets?”  
“Second door on the left.” Dan was relieved that he was able to answer that question. He was about to turn away when he remembered one rather important bit of information: the school’s time table. “Oh, something that might be interesting to know: In the morning, we have two double lessons, then lunch and then three single lessons in the afternoon.”   
“Thanks.” Lester said, and Dan didn’t need to worry about turning away abruptly because that was exactly what Lester had done.  
“You’re welcome.” Dan muttered under his breath when he was alone in the hallway.   
“How is my star?” Patt asked kindly and scared Dan half to death.   
“He’s abominable.” Dan whined. Patt frowned but she seemed to understand him quickly. She put an arm around Dan’s shoulders and squeezed. “You’ll be fine.”   
“I’d be a lot better if Stevens hadn’t made me his babysitter.”   
“What do you mean?”   
Dan explained that Mr Stevens had made him show Lester around and that he had just done that. Dan also told Patt about his hoped that now he could make Stevens put on the play because he had done him a favour and that favour now needed to be returned.   
“That’s a cunning plan.” Patt said. “I’m impressed.”   
“I think, I’ll go and talk to him now.”   
“Good idea.” Patt approved.   
“See you at lunch.”   
“Of course!” Patt laughed. She waved and walked into the staff room while Dan headed into the opposite direction to Mr Stevens’ office. On his way Dan thought how he should present his idea. When he arrived, he realised that he should not have worried that much. Mr Stevens was in a rush, nodded approvingly when Dan told him that he had shown Mr Lester around and smiled when Dan started speaking of the play.   
“You know, I never forbade you to put on the play?” he asked. “What do you want? An okay?”  
“That would be great.”  
“Okay. Go ahead with that play. It’ll be nice to have something good to show the parents at the Christmas Show on the last day of school.”   
“Thank you.” Dan said, for once in his life successfully biting back the nagging questions in his head.   
“You’re welcome.” Mr Stevens answered. Dan quickly left the office afterwards. Mr Stevens did seem to be in quite a rush after all.   
On his way to his classroom, Dan passed his pupils. “What are you smiling about, Mr Howell?” Noah shouted. Dan only then realised that he was in fact smiling.   
“I’ll tell you later.” That was the worst possible thing he could have said because now all his pupils and not just Noah shouted his name and asked what he was smiling about. Dan sighed and rubbed his temples. Saying that had been a mistake, and now he needed to deal with the consequences. “Alright, I’ll tell you.” His class cheered, and Dan rolled his eyes. “I just got the official okay for our play.” His class cheered even louder. “I told you. Now you have to go to your class and we can speak later.”   
Dan kept his promise and patiently answered all the questions his class came up with. Teaching his class was always a highlight of the day. Dan felt as though he was coming home whenever he saw their annoying faces. He always left the classroom feeling better than when he entered it after he taught his class. He would never have thought that he would actually get attached to someone like this. He had mainly doubted that would ever happen because he could not imagine anyone actually liking him. Luckily, his pupils kept proving him wrong.   
“What are you on about, grinning like a Cheshire cat?” Patt asked at lunch.   
“Mr Stevens said yes, and my class is excited.” Dan summed up.  
“When will be the ceremony?” Patt didn’t bat an eyelash.   
“Very funny.” Neither did Dan.   
Patt waited a while and then as if just to make sure she said with a small grin: “I’m happy for you.”   
“I didn’t say you could actually be maid of honour.” Dan folded his arms.   
“We don’t need words, love.” Patt said and they both started laughing violently.   
The rest of the day went smoothly as well. Dan finished his classes and was happy to seek refuge in the library once again. He put his things into his corner and went on his round, collecting books and putting those he knew back where they belonged. Dan walked the same round a second time, now relishing in the tidy shelves. The sense of accomplishment he felt just from putting a few books back was – not worrying – but certainly weird.   
Dan worked a little in the library but he knew that he had to get home eventually. On his way home Dan realised sadly how little it felt like Christmas. The old Christmas songs on the radio didn’t help the matter. They were not yet old enough to be classics so they were merely irritating.   
At home, Dan didn’t bother turning on any lights. The street lamp shone through the window just enough for him not to break his bones. He changed into his pyjamas and got into bed. Even if Dan was not feeling particularly bad he knew that there was one big problem with December: it got dark so quickly that you could end up going to sleep a lot earlier than you’d have anticipated.


	6. December 6th - Wednesday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy St Nicholas if that's anything to you! <3 Enjoy and see you tomorrow! :)

Phil’s POV

Phil had not managed to not be excited in the morning. Maybe the reason for this was actually that he had never really thought he could achieve. Phil waited a little while before he left his apartment. He was very excited but he thought that it would be best to wait until most of the teachers were actually in the staff room. When Phil arrived, he noticed that his plan was not fool proof. For instance, he had planned to just start talking to someone to see what they knew about that Mr Howell guy. Now he realised that he could not be sure that he did not accidently talk to Mr Howell in the process. That would be incredibly mortifying. Phil sat down on his place and stared around the room, desperately trying to find a familiar face he could ask. The first person he recognized was Dan. Phil rolled his eyes and kept on looking. Dan was not someone he could ask about Mr Howell, he probably didn’t even know him – he’d be far out of his reach. Patt followed Dan but Phil would not ask her either.   
Phil waited a couple more minutes until a sport teacher walked into the room. Phil could not remember his name but he thought he knew that he had been called by a few students and not by the name: Mr Howell. Phil stood up and walked up to the teacher. He had no idea how to start the conversation. Luckily the man noticed him, smiled and said: “Hello.”  
“Hello.” Phil answered and pretended to study a board with a few notes on. “Are you doing anything in particular for Christmas this year – with your pupils?” Phil asked eventually.  
“I let them choose a few games they want to play.” The teacher answered.   
“Something to show the parents?” Phil asked.  
“You’re just like Mr Howell.” Phil was so excited about the first clue that he didn’t notice the teacher walking out of the room, right in front of his eyes. Phil groaned and looked around for another victim. He spotted a maths teacher, bent over her phone. Phil bit back a chuckle, it was just like him to worry he might accidentally speak to Mr Howell in his quest to find out who he was and not remember the female part of the population.   
“Morning.” Phil said and sat down next to her.   
“Morning.” She looked a little confused.   
Phil suspected that he had to change his tactic a little so he asked: “Are you also doing something for the Christmas show?”  
“Should I be doing something?”   
“I don’t know, I’m just wondering who else is doing something.”  
“Who else?”  
“I think Mr Howell is putting on a play.”  
“A play? That sounds like him – to put on a play while we’re all already drowning in work.” She sighed. Phil wanted to continue asking questions but the bell rang and the teacher excused herself.   
Phil admitted defeat for the moment and got his things. He checked the board and discovered that he had his first proper IT lesson in a minute. Phil vaguely remembered the way to the computer room and set off to find it. He turned around a corner and saw an open door. There were fairy lights hanging in the windows. Phil immediately walked closer and inspected the room. It looked very neat and tidy and yet festive and cosy. Phil stood there starring into the room until the second bell brought him back. He quickly left the room but turned around to study the name tag on the door: He should have known really. It said Mr Howell. Phil hurried around two more corners and arrived at the computer room. All the while wondering why Dan hadn’t shown him Mr Howell’s room – he was jealous probably.   
Phil was teaching a different set of pupils in IT than he had taught the day before. That was why he started asking questions about Mr Howell again. The pupils were very happy to praise Mr Howell to the skies but they did not really help Phil to figure out who he really was.   
Throughout the day Phil kept asking pupils about Mr Howell. He always made sure not to ask one person twice. Still, no matter how many sources there were, Phil had no clue who Mr Howell was. He knew that he was amazing in all ways but he didn’t know who he was.  
At lunch Phil studied all of his male colleagues. No one among them seemed to fit the descriptions of the pupils. Phil had no idea what else he could do to discover who Mr Howell was if he didn’t want to ask someone to point him out for him, which he didn’t.   
It was only in his last class that Wednesday, that he found a way that he could meet Mr Howell. Putting on a play did not sound terribly easy. In other words: Mr Howell could surely do with some help. Phil’s plan was to go to Mr Stevens and offer to help Mr Howell with the play. He sincerely doubted that he would object to that.   
Phil was right. He had just knocked on the door of Mr Stevens’ office, sat down and put forward his proposal, and Mr Stevens was not doing anything but smiling.   
“That’s very nice. Sure, you can help. Oh, it’s after normal school hours though and you won’t be paid more.”   
“That’s fine with me.”   
“Oh. In that case. Would you mind helping out with other groups as well? That would be during school hours and would only take away a few of your free periods.” Mr Stevens was hesitant. “It would be to do with crafts or baking or something like that. Nothing too challenging.”   
“Sounds great.” Phil smiled. In fact, he had not stopped smiling since Mr Stevens had told him he could help with the play.   
“Amazing. I’ll let you know what you have to do in due course.”   
“Thanks.”  
“Thank you.” Mr Stevens smiled. Phil left the office and was embarrassed how fast his heart was beating. Before he was around the first corner, Mr Stevens suddenly called his name. “I just remembered that we scheduled the first meeting of the play for tomorrow afternoon! Christmas isn’t far away now!”   
“Thanks!” Phil shouted, and Mr Stevens walked back into his office with a nod.   
Tomorrow. Needless to say, these news did nothing to calm Phil’s heartbeat. He walked back to his apartment. He took notice of the open library door but he could see no one inside so he forgot about it quickly again. He was preoccupied with thoughts about the play. What would Mr Howell have him do? Could Phil actually help or would he make matters worse for him?   
Back in his apartment, Phil forced himself to stop thinking about the drama club. Instead he prepared a few classes. He made himself a pretty plain sandwich and munched it in silence. Afterwards he took a shower. He had lost track of when he had last showered. He only knew that he wanted to look presentable tomorrow because – no, he didn’t want to think about it! After the shower, he went to bed relatively early – he was nervous about the drama club after all. Oh well, so he didn’t succeed in not thinking about it. As if that was news to anyone. 

Dan’s POV

Dan’s expectations of a good day had changed quite a few times already. It used to be a day where one person smiled at him. It then changed to a day where he wasn’t attacked (physically or verbally), and at times it had even been a day where he hadn’t felt the urge to cry. Dan had now left these extremes and was currently defining a good day as a day where he got stuff done and was not incredibly irritated by anyone. Yesterday had not been an entirely good day with having to show Mr Lester around but today had all the potential to be a good day.   
Dan saw Mr Lester when he walked into the staff room but he seemed not to take any notice of him. Dan was relived and sat down on his chair with Patt right next to him. He opened his folders and added a few thoughts he had had on his way to school.   
“When are you going to kick this off?” Patt asked, stirring her coffee.   
“Oh. I haven’t really thought about that.” Dan said, panic rising in him.  
“Just go to Roger and tell him you want to start tomorrow.” Patt never called Mr Stevens Roger in front of him but she did like to unsettle Dan by doing it when they were alone.   
“Tomorrow?” Dan whispered.   
“You could possibly start on the 21st and be ready for the 22nd but don’t assume everyone is as much a genius as you are.” Patt laughed. Dan nodded and scribbled a few more things down before gathering his things and leaving for Mr Stevens’ office – again. It occurred to Dan that it had been a long time since he had seen Mr Stevens not stressed. He simply announced his plan to start rehearsing tomorrow. Mr Stevens nodded and let Dan go, a few minutes after the first bell had rung. It was stressful to think that the first rehearsal would be tomorrow but Dan was also happy to finally have a concrete plan to work with.   
Dan collected his class on the way to the classroom. They had been waiting in front of the staff room for him. Dan wasn’t angry. Why should he be? His class was devoted to him and he was also a little late himself. They walked around the corner leading to their corridor just in time to see Mr Lester hurry away from Dan’s classroom. Dan had made sure not to point to his classroom on the tour the day before. He had not wanted to be mocked and he also hadn’t wanted Mr Lester to know exactly where he usually spent his time. There was no doubt that Mr Lester could find out if he wanted to but Dan hoped that he didn’t.   
After setting the first task and comparing the results, Dan allowed a few of the girls to go to the toilet. He waited for them to return to hand out a new task. While waiting, he asked as neutrally as possible: “What do you think of Mr Lester?”   
“He’s amazing!” Emily shouted, and Millie joined right in. Adam and Noah nodded approvingly. Dan thought that they must have misunderstood the name. The girls came back, and Dan handed out the new task, not sure how to continue with the conversation he had started.   
Dan did not ask the next class about Mr Lester. That was mainly due to the fact that they were already talking about him. Once again, all the pupils seemed to like him excessively. Maybe his pupils had not heard the wrong name!   
At lunch break, Dan had no time to think about the seemingly paradox perception different people had of Mr Lester. Instead, Dan continued working on the play. Patt sat down next to him and ate while he worked. This happened occasionally, and Dan didn’t mind. It was soothing in a way to be working and not being looked at weirdly because the eating person was doing something themselves.   
“Could you maybe help me with the drama club?” Dan asked at one point. The more details he added the more afraid he was that he would not manage to have a presentable thing to show the parents.   
“Ah, I’d love to but I have a life.” Dan had never expected her to say yes in the first place but the answer did not help to calm him down. “You’ll be fine.” Patt said but Dan could not be sure if she was talking to him or the pudding in her hand.   
After lunch Dan was back with his class in his classroom. He knew he’d have them twice today because of the shift Tim had caused. They had worked a lot in the first lesson together so now Dan took his time to educate them on a matter he chose himself.   
“What day is it today, Toby?” Dan asked. Involving Toby right from the off meant that he was most likely to keep participating throughout the lesson.  
“The 6th of December.”  
“Correct.”   
“Why did you ask?” Adam asked.   
“Good question.” Dan laughed. “Does anyone remember what we talked about last Friday?”   
“Christmas celebrations.” Tracey answered.   
“That’s right.”   
“Oh! Oh!” Josh called, accidentally boxing Emily with his elbow. “Someone celebrates Christmas today!”   
“Well done. Who celebrates Christmas today?” Collectively his class needed three attempts to guess the Dutch. “Yes. The Dutch celebrate today. They have a figure called Sinterklaas and his helper Zwarte Piet. Sinterklaas has a big book where he keeps track on the good and bad children. Who does he remind you of?”  
“Father Christmas!” Toby bellowed out. Involving him in the lesson always bore the risk that he got overenthusiastic and couldn’t wait to be called on.   
“That’s right. There are similarities. Sinterklaas can be translated to Saint Nicholas though so they are not the same person. Saint Nicholas lived from 270 onwards. He lived in what is Turkey today.” Dan then called Emily to the front to show the others where Turkey was located on a map of Europe. “Today or in fact yesterday evening, a lot of Dutch children opened presents Sinterklaas and the Zwarte Piet brought them.” Dan decided to leave the small cultural lesson at that.   
“Only the Dutch celebrate today?” Josh asked.  
“Well, the German celebrate Saint Nicholas as well but it’s not their Christmas.” Dan said. “Who knows when the German celebrate Christmas?” This time the class managed to guess the correct day at the first guess. “Yes. It is the 24th. We’ll hear more about them another time.” There were no more questions to answer. Dan was thankful for that. He doubted that he would have actually been able to say any more on the matter. He wasn’t an expert on any of these subjects – even with the research for his play he was still merely an amateur. The reason he told his class anything about this was that he wanted them to be aware of different traditions in other countries. You can never start too early with that.   
Dan was happy with the other lessons he taught but as soon as school was over he became anxious again. He had no idea how the drama club would work the next day. He was all on his own. So far, he didn’t even know how many children would come. He wouldn’t force anyone of course but it would be a shame if only two would be there.   
Dan routinely went to the library after saying goodbye to Patt and stared working. The only thing that was not usually part of his routine was falling asleep. Dan was incredibly disappointed in himself when he woke up again. He had no time to waste sleeping in the library! Dan sulked on the whole way home and only stopped when he fell asleep in his own bed, after allowing himself a bag of crisps for dinner.


	7. December 7th - Thursday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One last day and then the weekend awaits us. Have a lovely day! You can do this! <3

Phil’s POV

The reason Phil wasn’t in the staff room early on Thursday morning, was not that he wanted all the teachers to be there. He had given up on trying to find Mr Howell as he would see him in the afternoon. The reason was actually that he could not quite focus on anything. He did not allow himself to be too excited about the afternoon but that was hard work. In fact, it was so hard that he struggled completing basic tasks, like putting on the right shoe onto the right foot.   
When Phil finally went into the staff room, he had barely time to check the board to see where he was wanted before the bell rung. Phil’s first lesson was a basic IT course but the second lesson was a crafts lesson. Phil had to help out the crafts teacher who had to take care of two classes at once due to the shift in staff caused by Phil’s predecessor.   
Phil hurried to the crafts room. He was somewhat eager to leave a good impression throughout that day, mainly so that he had practiced before the one impression that really mattered in the afternoon.   
The crafts teacher smiled courtly, even though she looked pretty stressed out. “Thank you for helping.” She said after Phil had introduced himself. She wandered off towards the tools cupboard but came running back. “I’m Helen by the way, sorry.”   
“Nice to meet you.” Phil said and closed the door. A little over thirty children looked at them expectantly. Helen welcomed everyone and introduced today’s task. Phil paid close attention and walked around the classroom helping children, once Helen had finished. Every now and then Phil asked someone if they were going to be part of the play. A lot of girls and boys alike said that they would be.   
“I am really excited, Mr Lester.” A girl confined in him.   
“I believe you are.” Phil answered with a smile.   
Even if Phil would not have asked about the play, Mr Howell was constantly spoken of. Phil heard a bit of gossip but it was nothing juicy and as he didn’t even know Mr Howell it had next to no impact on him whatsoever. Far more common than gossip was praise and admiration for Mr Howell. Phil’s excitement bubbled to the surface again and he couldn’t stop fidgeting and smiling. As this was a crafts class no one noticed.   
After crafts, Phil had to calm down a little, in order to teach a substitute geography lesson. He was not brilliant with countries but he got through the lesson well enough, due to the unnecessary facts he had accumulated during nights in front of the computer.   
One boy surprised Phil with saying that the Dutch celebrated om the 6th of December. “How do you know that?” Phil asked.   
“My sister told me.”   
“Who is your sister?”   
“Tracey. Mr Howell taught her.” The boy said proudly. By now, Phil should probably have been accustomed to hearing Mr Howell as the person behind all the remarkable things. He wasn’t though. It actually took him the whole lesson to recover from that one piece of information.   
Once done with the second lesson, Phil took his time to get to the cafeteria. He sat down next to, what he assumed were biology and Spanish teachers. They did not talk very much, and when they did it was about something Phil could not have cared less about.   
Phil looked around the cafeteria and saw Dan and Patt sitting next to each other. Patt seemed to be talking and eating, while Dan was writing and only speaking occasionally. Dan seemed rather over ambitious to be working while everybody else had their lunch. Phil was not surprised to never have heard the children mention Dan in any way. He was perhaps not horrible but he was certainly also not great. He was too boring to even be thought of.   
After lunch, Phil was not too proud of his teaching abilities. Once he had met Mr Howell things would hopefully go back to normal but right now with the excitement buzzing through him, he had more than small difficulties to stay focused. The children luckily didn’t seem to mind. They laughed whenever Phil made a silly mistake. They were not mocking him. Phil thought they might think that he was doing it on purpose. It wasn’t good to be lying but in this particular case not correcting them was better.   
Phil was deeply embarrassed when he actually started screaming a little when the last bell announced the end of the regular school day. His class thought it was hilarious and joined in with the screaming. Phil’s heart was beating fast but he managed to laugh and lock the door after everyone left. Mr Stevens had left a note in Phil’s pigeon hole (that still didn’t say his name, by the way) that the drama club would start twenty minutes after the last lesson. In other words, Phil had too much time on his hands right now. He decided to go back to the apartment and drink a cup of tea, freshen up a little and then walk to the big hall as slowly as possible.   
Phil did as he planned, feeling incredibly ridiculous walking slowly along empty corridors. There was noise coming from the hall and Phil started smiling well before he actually saw anyone. He was kneading his fingers when he slowly walked into hall. There were quite a few children running around. There was a second entrance through which more children spilled into the room. Phil looked around the room. He saw that there was only one tall person apart from himself. He looked closer and saw that it was Dan, luckily before more excitement had built up. True to his behaviour throughout the day, Phil approached Dan and smiled.   
“Are you here for the play as well?” Phil asked kindly.  
“Erm, yes, I am.” Before Phil could judge Dan’s reaction in his mind, Mel, a girl Phil had taught twice so far shouted: “Mr Lester! You’re helping as well? Amazing!” Phil smiled in Mel’s direction. A boy, who Phil had not taught so far, walked over to them. He looked nervous, looked at Dan and asked: “Mr Howell, can I quickly get my little sister?”   
Phil was pretty sure that his jaw dropped. Dan smiled kindly and answered: “Sure, no problem.”   
“Thank you.” The boy said and ran off.   
“Wait. You’re Mr Howell?” Phil blurred out. He had no idea what to think.   
“Yes.” Dan frowned. He mumbled “Sorry.” And left to go into the centre of the room. “Gather everyone!” he shouted. Children ran towards him but Phil stayed where he was. Dan was Mr Howell? Phil could not think anything apart from that question for quite a while. Slowly the question transformed into an exclamation but that didn’t help very much either.   
While Dan was telling the children about what the drama club was, Phil pondered whether there had been any clues. Should Phil have known instantly that Dan was Mr Howell? Could he have known instantly? In his defence, Dan was not being Mr Howell with him the way he was Mr Howell around the children. Then again, Phil wasn’t the same around the children as he was around the adults, so who was he to judge really?   
Phil was painfully aware that he was no help at all that Thursday afternoon. He could not help staring at Dan. Dan’s movements still seemed clumsy and awkward but also incredibly tender towards the children. Maybe, just maybe, Phil had been wrong about him. About Dan that was. He might have been right about Mr Howell. Phil’s only consolation was that no one would be able to think clearly in that situation. Someone might have been more intelligent to figure out that Dan and Mr Howell were one of the same person but surely everyone would be struggling if they were precisely in Phil’s shoes.   
At the end of drama club, Phil practically left the room before anyone else. He did not have the heart to help Dan. He still needed to figure things out in his head. He was in no state to interact with him. Back in his apartment, Phil replayed every little moment from the days he had now worked at the school. The only result was a severe headache, so he stopped eventually and resigned for the day. 

Dan’s POV

Dan was up and about earlier than he had for the whole week. After waking up to his alarm clock and remembering what was going to happen in the afternoon, he practically jumped up. He went into the kitchen to make a cup of tea. He realised that he had to take a shower so he darted into the bathroom. He turned the shower on and waited for the water to heat up. Realising that that would undoubtedly take quite a while, he darted back into the kitchen and got his tea. He had finished the cup just when the glass doors started steaming up which meant that the water was warm. After the shower, Dan got dressed quickly, ate a small bowl of cereal and left for school.   
Dan felt a weird sense of calmness when he walked into the staff room, spotted Patt but not Mr Lester. Even if Dan was happy not to have to see him, he was relieved when he did arrive shortly before the first lesson. Anything, no matter how unpleasant, was better if you knew where it was. Dan could now be sure that Mr Lester wasn’t plotting anything. Experience had taught him to be wary of people you wished not to say and actually didn’t see. That had to do much less with consideration from their part and rather with strategic organising.  
With that somewhat reassuring thought in mind, Dan went to his first class. In the library the evening before, he had decided to go with Dickens for a majority of his classes. That meant that he basically only had to prepare one thing a day. He would obviously have to regulate the difficulty but that was something he should be able to do in a matter of minutes before the individual class started.   
After introducing two different age groups to Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol”, Dan went to the cafeteria and worked on the play. He supposed that Patt was sitting next to him. No, okay, he was sure that she was sitting there. That was much more due to the fact that he heard her taking than the fact that he had looked up from his notebook. Patt didn’t seem to mind (Dan would have heard that in her voice). Dan didn’t forget to eat. Well, he nicked a couple of cucumber slices from Patt’s plate.   
Dan was on his way to his penultimate class when Mr Stevens waved him over. Dan frowned, once again searching his mind for something that he had done wrong.   
“We found someone to help you with the drama club!” That was all Mr Stevens had to say to Dan. He left before Dan could ask who volunteered, or much more likely, was forced to help him. He really hoped for a sensible colleague.  
Dan’s last lesson that day was about Dickens again. The other two had been a tying of all the loose ends of different topics, in order to be able to start with Dickens the next time he taught them. When Dan had first started teaching properly, so to say, when he was first left in charge of his own class without supervision, he had been incredibly scared that the pupils would mock him and not pay attention to the things that were important to him. Dan had been pleasantly surprised that all the pupils he encountered at this school (with the odd exception of course) were as eager as possible to like what he seemed to like. This surprise was mainly due to a simple calculation error. Dan had forgotten the age group he was going to teach. Only the highest classes he taught came close to puberty, the rest were eager children that needed nothing more than a little encouragement in order to fall for something.   
The only time Dan did not think about the play for longer than two seconds, was when he reflected on the day. He was happy that the children were interested and only slightly reluctant to learn about Dickens. The sound of laughter coming from the hallway brought him back immediately. The joy he felt was replaced by anxiety. He quickly locked the room and raced to the big hall. He had feared to be too late but there was no one there when he arrived. Now Dan feared that he wasn’t too early but that no one had actually wanted to be part of the play. Thoughts bounced back in his head so quickly and loudly that he, at first, did not register the noise of the arriving children. Dan was terrified of having to tell Mr Stevens and his colleague that was to help him, that there would be no need because no one cared about the play. Dan only stopped thinking these things when a boy tugged at his sleeve.   
“Hello Mr Howell.” Vincent was one of the youngest children Dan taught.   
“Hello there Vincent.” Dan said and crouched down. “Are you going to help us with the play?”   
“I will try.” Vincent said sincerely.   
“Thank you.” Dan said just as sincerely and tousled Vincent’s hair. Vincent was called away by his friends so Dan stood up again. There were a lot of children in the hall by now and they kept arriving! On the one hand Dan felt calm and relieved but on the other hand he was more anxious than ever: Now there were even more children to entertain and please. Out of the corner of his eye, Dan saw a tall person standing in the other door. He was weirdly scared to look properly. This was the person designated to help him after all.   
Dan’s bad feeling was proven right when he did look closer. Mr Lester was approaching him. He was smiling, alright, but Dan could not trust any of his actions. Memories of punches straight into his gut after a surprisingly friendly smile stayed with you for a lifetime, after all.   
Mr Lester arrived next to him and asked: “Are you here for the play as well?”  
“Erm, yes, I am.” Dan said confused if this was a joke he didn’t understand. Luckily, the situation wasn’t dragged on because Mel shouted: “Mr Lester! You’re helping as well? Amazing!” Dan saw Mr Lester smiling. It might as well have been the first time he saw a genuine smile on his face. Of course, it was. Why would Mr Lester bother to smile at him? Dan had no chance to continue thinking about that, fortunately because Baxter demanded his attention: “Mr Howell, can I quickly get my little sister?” Baxter was a very cute little boy that was actually older than he looked. He had a little sister he loved taking care of.   
“Sure, no problem.” Dan smiled, he was happy to have Baxter and Clementine in the play. He loved them even if he had to chuckle every now and then when he heard their names. They sounded like their parents had been on the internet looking for fashionable Victorian names.   
“Thank you.” Baxter smiled and ran to look for Clementine presumably. Dan was following Baxter with his eyes when Mr Lester suddenly asked: “Wait. You’re Mr Howell?”   
“Yes.” Dan frowned. If these were jokes, they were incredibly bad or Dan was simply too stupid to understand them. Either way, he had no time to waste thinking about them. Dan saw Baxter returning with Clementine. He mumbled a quick “Sorry.” To Phil, he did not forget his manners after all, and went into the centre of the room. “Gather everyone!”   
Concentrating was a lot harder than Dan had anticipated. The excited buzzing from the children played a small role. Instead, Mr Lester’s constant stares unsettled Dan immensely and made it very hard for him to keep his face. Mr Lester was also the reason that Dan completely forgot to tell the children what the play was about. Keeping the ‘lesson’ general wasn’t too bad but Dan had originally planned to reveal the play in order to ensure that everyone was coming back the next time.   
Dan was incredibly exhausted when the club was over. He packed his things and went to his car. He had had to wait for the children to be collected because Mr Lester had disappeared. Dan was feeling a mixture of things and was very happy when Patt called him, talking about everything would do him some good.   
“Hey there.” Dan said and put his seatbelt on.  
“Hi. I don’t have time to talk right now but I wanted to give you a head start and tell you that you have to take over my baking session on Tuesday because I’ll be on a German Christmas Market.”   
“As you do.” Dan muttered. “Appreciated. Thanks.”   
“Talk to you later, love.”   
“See ya.” Dan said and hung up. This call obviously only added to his amazing mood.


	8. December 8th - Friday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a lovely weekend! <3

Phil’s POV

Phil’s thoughts had cleared slightly over night. He was no nearer to know anything for sure but the confusing buzzing of thoughts in his head was gone. That day’s reason to be late in the staff room was that Phil was ever so slightly scared to meet Dan again. He didn’t know what to do if they met again and they were bound to meet. The thing that irritated Phil most of all was that he was not able to rely on his basic instinct. He had just proven himself that he had been wrong about Dan and the thought that he might have been wrong in different areas as well unsettled him.   
Phil should have known that the first person he saw once he dared to leave his apartment would be Dan. Luckily, Dan had just opened the door to the staff room so he didn’t see him. Phil walked very slowly to the door. He took a deep breath and opened it. Dan was sitting next to Patt, they were talking. Phil exhaled and closed the door behind him. At the board, he studied Dan’s plan as well as his own. Neither of them had written drama anywhere on it but a club might not be sufficiently important, Phil would have to ask someone.   
The bell rang before Phil had time to sit down. He was thankful for that. There was nothing more awkward than having to stand up when you haven’t even sat down properly. Like this, Phil was able to dart out of the room, towards a classroom before anyone else.   
The two classes before lunch went smoothly. The only thing that bothered Phil, was that he did not even try to keep his distance. A boy had asked him if he had enjoyed drama the day before and he had answered: “Yes, very much. Even though I wasn’t much of a help.” There was nothing too revealing about that answer in theory but the fact that he had said it as a substitute teacher, didn’t bode well. Phil was annoyed with himself that he completely forgot about his position in school. He was a teacher, alright but he was never going to be anyone of importance to anyone. Behaving like he was did not benefit anyone.   
At lunch, Phil’s mood did not exactly lighten. He was once again staring at Dan. There was no way that he could tear his eyes of him. Dan was again writing something down while Patt was talking and eating. Phil’s blood started boiling when he remembered all the stupid stuff he had thought about Dan. There he was, working on his genius play and what had Phil thought he was doing? Doodling away like an idiot. Phil was deeply ashamed but also downright mad at himself. His heart sank when he thought that he had missed every single opportunity of becoming Dan’s friend. That was, Phil realised, what he wanted. He wanted to be the friend of such a hard-working, ambitious and devoted teacher who, on top of that, also had a kind nature and a taste for decorations. Phil knew in theory that it was too late now but that did not make the urge to talk to Dan disappear. It somehow felt like Phil was losing control over himself, so he grabbed his bag and left the cafeteria.   
The next lesson managed to distract Phil. The children had done their homework as he had asked and were now eager to learn something new. The time flew by and Phil was surprised by the bell that announced the end of the lesson. “You all worked so hard that there is no reason to give you homework!”   
“You’re amazing Mr Lester.” Someone shouted, and a lot of children followed with “Thank you.”  
“You’re welcome!” Phil laughed and followed them outside. He went to the staff room and placed a book he no longer needed for that day onto his place. There was a note on his place that said that the next drama club would be on Monday. Phil was both relieved and sad but had luckily no time to think about it as the breaks were relatively short. He set off again and found a cluster of people in front of his classroom. Phil was teaching the lowest grade first in maths and then in geography. Neither of those subjects were his strong suit. To make up for that, Phil tried to make comparing results as fun as possible. The teacher he was covering for had fortunately provided him with a book that had all the answers. That meant that he didn’t need to think about them himself and could instead focus on his teaching.   
They were well done with maths and had finished with about half of geography when a small boy looked at Phil expectantly. “Do you have a question?” Phil asked kindly.  
“No.” the boy smiled. “You are nearly as much fun as Mr Howell.”   
Phil smiled but was saved from answering by a girl that called for him. Phil was not offended by the small boy. On the contrary. He took that as the greatest compliment he had been able to pay. He was only happy to be called away because he had once again no idea how to react to it.   
When the lesson was nearing a close, Phil was still thinking about an appropriate reaction. He had gotten as far as realising that he should have at least said thank you. They compared the last exercise and Phil knew he needed to finish the lesson. “Thank you very much for the great time. You worked really hard. If I could please ask you to look at the third exercise on the same page at home. You’ll find that once you’ve looked at it you might as well do it. Have a great weekend!” Phil’s voice had become louder with every word he spoke because everyone was packing up. He didn’t mind. He wasn’t as old as that he would have forgotten about the thrill of a weekend.   
The children left the classroom chatting happily. Phil smiled and followed them until they reached the staff room. A few wished him a happy weekend but the majority was engrossed in their own conversations.   
It was only when Phil saw Dan’s empty place, that he realised that he still desperately wanted to talk to him. All of Dan’s things were gone. Another opportunity missed. Phil walked back to his apartment. He nearly walked past the library when he suddenly remembered seeing Dan in there once. Phil decided to risk it and walked inside. He did not spot him immediately but then again that had been Dan’s intention. He was hidden away in the far corner of the room, working on what looked like tests. Now that there was a possibility to talk to Dan, Phil started stressing again. How should he start talking to Dan? He can’t just walk up to him. He needed to have something to say.  
Phil hid behind a shelf while thinking so that Dan could not see him if he happened to look up. Phil looked around him and saw that there were no books lying around. None of the children were particularly tidy so this was unusual. In the next moment Phil remembered that he had seen Dan picking up books that one time he had seen him in the library. Phil pulled a random book out of the shelf next to him and walked towards Dan before his courage would leave him.   
“Do you know where this goes?” Phil asked and held the book towards Dan. Dan finished the word and looked up with a smile. The smile was so radiant that it took Phil completely by surprise. He did not need to worry about the smile’s effect as it vanished as soon as Dan recognised Phil. Not only did the smile vanish, Dan also averted his eyes to look at the book. Phil followed his gaze and saw horrified that he had picked up a colouring book.   
“I’ll… I’ll put it away for you.” Dan swallowed.   
“Err… Thank you.” Phil said, turned around abruptly and left the library. Funny to think that he had actually managed to make things worse. He didn’t even know how it happened. Amazing. 

Dan’s POV

Patt had not rung again after that announcement. Dan wasn’t too mad about that. He had sensed that Patt was not in a mood to talk so confining in her wouldn’t even be that much fun anyways.   
The next morning, Dan did not feel considerably better but neither did he feel worse and that was something at least. He had breakfast and got dressed in total silence. On his way to school he turned the radio on and enjoyed a bit of Christmas music. Dan sat in his car for a while after he had turned the engine off. At one point he told himself how ridiculously he was behaving and got out of the car. Mr Lester had not been too great a help the day before but there was no use in looking at things pessimistically. It was easy enough to say that but it was a whole different thing to believe it as well. You could say after all that Dan was being careful and not pessimistic when he braced himself for an attack Mr Lester was plotting.   
Dan left the car with a fast beating heart. He hurried along the corridors but didn’t meet anyone until he walked into the staff room. Everything looked normal and Dan calmed down again. He looked around the room a little closer and tensed up when he couldn’t see Mr Lester anywhere.   
“Good morning.” Patt said brightly.  
“Morning.” Dan mumbled and sat down next to her. He felt at least a little safer like that.   
“Tell me all about yesterday.” Patt said. Either she had not taken notice of Dan’s weird mood or she had chosen not to address it. Either way, Dan was thankful.  
“The children are great.”  
“You don’t seem too happy.”  
“No, everything is fine. It’s just that Mr Lester was there. He helps.”   
“Mr Lester?” Patt asked. “That new guy? He doesn’t seem like someone eager to help.”  
“Well, he didn’t. He stood there staring, judging probably.” Dan sighed.   
“Staring?” Patt frowned. Dan nodded but that didn’t convince her. Out of the corner of his eyes he saw Mr Lester walking into the staff room. He could not see if he was looking at them but he was happy not to know. Mr Lester was standing in front of the board and left immediately once the bell rang. Dan did not know what to think. Patt was talking about something but Dan couldn’t really follow. What did that behaviour mean?   
For the rest of the day, Dan practically trembled whenever he walked on his own. He only ever felt safe in large groups and in classrooms. In a way this kind of behaviour was worse than what he had been doing with Tim. Tim had made unnecessary comments but Dan had always been able to ignore them. Occasionally, when he had not been in the mood to suffer anything, Dan had taken care to avoid him but that was all. Tim had never terrorised him in the way Mr Lester did.   
Dan was truly thankful for his ability to put the nagging thoughts in his mind away for the duration of one lesson. That way, the children didn’t suffer at least. At lunch that technique did not really work out. He only started to relax, or rather stress because of something else, when he started working on his play. Patt talked to him and ate and he worked. That way he managed to push Mr Lester aside. Well, he managed to do that until Patt murmured: “Not to alarm you or anything but you’re right. Lester is staring at you.” The words obviously alarmed Dan. He managed to control it as much as that only his hands trembled ever so slightly.   
Without looking up Dan said: “Patt, I can’t deal with that this afternoon.”   
“You don’t need to. Say you start on Monday to be able to work continuously.” Dan was thankful for the comfort but he could not look up. Seeing Mr Lester would surely take the good feeling away again.   
After lunch Dan quickly told Mr Stevens of his plan to start regular rehearsals on Monday. With that off his chest, Dan was the calmest he had been that day. A big part in his changed mood was played by him being able to stay in his classroom for the last three consecutive hours. The children were stars as usual and the atmosphere of his room added to his comfort. In the small break he played soft Christmas music and forgot to put it off again. He only really realised when one girl asked him if they could always listen to music while working. The last lesson that day was with his class. It was over far too quickly. Dan turned the music off and felt weirdly cold and anxious. Normally, the good feeling he had after teaching his class listened for longer than that.   
Dan had already taken all of his things out of the staff room after lunch, in order to avoid running into Mr Lester. Now, Dan made his way to the library, knowing that he would not get anything done if he tried working at home. The library had a quick effect on him. Dan was sure that Mr Lester would not go into the library. He calmed down and started working.   
He was in the middle of correcting a series of tests when someone approached him and asked: “Do you know where this goes?” Dan looked up with a smile, he liked to help. He stopped smiling immediately when he saw that Mr Lester was standing in front of him. Dan looked away quickly. His eyes focused on the book he was holding. It was a colouring book. Dan frowned but he understood the message quickly. Mr Lester was showing him this book as a comment on Dan’s intellect.   
“I’ll…” Dan hated himself for the breaking voice. “I’ll put it away for you.”   
“Err… Thank you.” The only thing good about this situation was that Dan had succeeded in taking the wind out of Mr Lester’s sails. He had evidentially not expected that answer and had therefore been unable to pull through with his plan. The fact that Dan had achieved that gave him hope that he was not entirely defenceless for future situations.   
One of the bad things about the situation was that there was no way Dan could work on afterwards. Not only were his hands trembling, he was also shivering with his whole body. He was unable to breathe evenly. Dan packed his things and left the library. It was really a bad sign when he didn’t even manage to say goodbye properly to Maddy.   
On the way home, Dan tried to silence his thoughts with loud music. At home, Dan tried to stop thinking with watching films. Not one of these techniques actually worked. At least, he was so exhausted that he fell asleep quickly. He would not have to see Mr Lester on the weekend. He could regain his strength over the next two days. Dan really hoped that was true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to leave comments and kudos! <3   
> I'll be seeing you again tomorrow! :)


	9. December 9th - Saturday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a lovely Sunday! <3

Phil’s POV

The first thing Phil experienced when he woke up on Saturday was a sense of accomplishment. He was happy that his first full week of work was successfully over. As soon as he thought about success he remembered the not so very successful part of the week concerning Dan. Phil groaned and willed himself to go back to the happy thoughts. For the first time in his life, that actually worked. The week had been exhausting but really not that bad. Phil got along perfectly with all the children and he was relieved to see that he was still able to teach decently. He would not in a million years win a teacher of the year award with the things he was doing at the moment, but the children learned something, and everyone had fun.   
With that Phil’s willpower collapsed and he started thinking about Dan again. It was hard to believe that he had only met him on Monday, five days ago. Even harder to believe was the fact that Phil’s opinion of Dan had changed within these five days. Phil was used to unpredictable mood swings but this was a little much. Phil still felt really bad about the things he had thought about Dan and the way he had treated him. Telling himself that he had done so because he didn’t know better didn’t even work as an excuse for himself. A lot of people’s policy was to be nice and polite if they didn’t know better. Phil’s approach was just plain wrong. Dan had done nothing to provoke such a behaviour from Phil.   
A little pained, Phil realised that, from now on, he had to be polite to everyone. How should anyone be able to respect him if he wasn’t? The first week might have been difficult but that didn’t mean that the second one couldn’t be harder. Phil groaned and got out of bed. He felt miserable. In order to feel better, he took a shower but put his pyjamas back on afterwards. He then switched on his computer, put on some music and prepared breakfast. Breakfast meant a large bowl of cereal, as it usually did. After that, Phil did not feel like working. His place was nice but it wasn’t really a working environment. Instead, Phil decided to call his mother. They had not spoken for about one week now.   
“Hello?”  
“Hi, mum.” Phil said. “Sorry. The kettle is being loud. I should have made tea before calling you. Sorry. I can’t hear you. I’ll just keep talking until the kettle is done. Just a little more. It’s already trembling. There we go. Hi.”   
“Hello, darling.” Phil knew that his mother was smiling. “How are you?”  
“Good thanks. How are you?”  
“Can’t complain.”  
“I’ve had quite a busy week.” Phil understated.   
“I’m glad you like it so much.”  
“Who said I liked it?” Phil asked and poured the water over the teabag he had managed to throw next and not into the mug at first.   
“Come on! You’re my son.”  
“What is that supposed to mean?”  
“I would hear if you were deeply upset.” She said proudly. Phil took a mental note not to talk of Dan. Not that he had planned to but with his mother’s claim to be able to read him in that way it was best to be safe.   
“It was not too bad.” Phil admitted.  
“See! Tell me all about it.”  
“Do you really want to hear everything though?”  
“Otherwise I wouldn’t have called.”  
“Mum, I called.”  
“Oh, right. Anyways. Tell me, I’m curious!” Phil laughed and started speaking. He kept his voice as neutral as possible. He tried to sound the same when he was talking about the children, the work, the colleagues, the flat or even the weather. As long as he was the only one that knew about the actual feeling he had, things were not too bad. If his mother knew, Phil would have to deal with the feelings instead of ignoring them.   
“I don’t think your teachers raved about you that way.” His mother commented.  
“Well there are two reasons for that, aren’t there?” Phil laughed. “First of all, I was not as good a pupil as all of mine are, and secondly my teachers were heartless robots.”   
“Come on, be fair.”  
“Fine, they were programmed people.”  
“I meant be fair on yourself. You weren’t so bad.”  
“Thanks mum.”   
“You’re welcome, son. Is that all you have been doing?”  
“Teaching is not the easiest job!” Phil fished out the teabag out of his mug and poured milk over the tea.   
“So, you have done your IT classes?”  
“Yes. I have done IT, geography, history, maths, crafts and drama.”  
“Uh, drama!” Phil cursed under his breath. He knew fully well that you should never put the subject you wanted to avoid at the last position. The last thing was the one thing most people could remember.  
“Yes, drama.”  
“What are you doing there.”  
“I’m just helping another teacher to put on a play.”  
“Oh, what play?”  
“He wrote the play himself.”  
“Wow, that’s impressive.”  
“Yeah, it is.” Phil scolded himself inside his head: He had no business to sound proud. He had nothing to do with the process of writing and Dan didn’t even like him. “I’m only helping out though, not doing much.”   
“That might change.”   
“Mum, they don’t need me here. I am an extra. I am a temporary replacement.”   
“Don’t be so pessimistic about the whole thing! You never know what the future might bring.” One of the dangers of talking to his mother was always that Phil ended up hoping for something in spite of himself. He didn’t want to hope as it only ever resulted in disappointment.   
“I have to work now, mum.” Phil said. If he cut the call short now, he might not be entirely engulfed by his mother’s hopefulness.   
“Okay. Oh, I’m sending Martyn around tomorrow.”   
“You will never stop organising playdates for me, will you?” Phil asked.  
“Why should I?”  
“I guess.” Phil shrugged.   
“He can help you with the shopping.”  
“How on earth do you know that I need to go shopping?”  
“Come on, that wasn’t hard. You didn’t speak of going to the supermarket and what I bought you can last for one week at the most even if you squirreled away.”  
“Fair point. Okay mum. I’ll send you a hug through Martyn! Love you!”  
“Love you, too. Take care!”  
“Will do.” Phil hung up and sighed. He drank his mediocre tea – tea is always better warm – and reluctantly opened a few folders to start working. After trying for a couple of minutes and not managing to concentrate, Phil gave up. With Martyn coming the next day, however, he needed to get some work done. Phil let his head fall back and groaned. An idea suddenly popped up in his mind: He could try to concentrate in a nicer environment. He was alone in school so he could as well go to Dan’s classroom and see if the atmosphere affected him positively.   
Phil tiptoed around the school and took a deep breath. The door wasn’t locked, which he took for a sign that he was welcome. Phil walked inside and switched on the fairy lights. It was bright enough outside for that little bit of additional light to be sufficient. The next thing he did was put some music on. Now, he was able to feel the calming influence the room had on him. Phil carefully sat down at the teacher’s desk and started working. He would have loved to stay forever but for his own safety, he decided to leave once he had finished one task and the sky got dark. Before shutting the door, Phil tried to burn the image into his mind, so that he could maybe concentrate if he just imagined himself to be in the room without having to rely on actually being there. Not the best but certainly a plan. 

Dan’s POV

Saturdays could theoretically be Dan’s favourite day of the week. This Saturday, however, did not manage to charm Dan. The main reason for that was that he did not manage to get as much done as he had hoped and the reason for that was Patt calling.   
Dan had just started working after a long lie in when the phone rang the first time.   
“Hello.” He said but continued writing something down.   
“Hello.” Patt answered and neither of them said anything for a while.   
“You called?” Dan asked and put his pen down after all.  
“Oh yeah. I was wondering if you know which kind of Europe map hangs in my classroom.”  
“Patt.”  
“Yes.”  
“How the hell am I supposed to know that?”  
“My bad. Speak to you later.” Patt hung up again and Dan went back to work. These kinds of calls happened occasionally when Patt was unable to focus and needed to do something with her fingers. Her phone was never far away, and Dan was sure to pick up. This kind of call happening twice in the matter of an hour was a little more peculiar, though.   
“Hello.” Dan answered again, continuing to grade the test he was working on.   
“Hello. Do you think I should use different colour chalk to point out the different steps of baking?”  
“I suppose it would make things clearer.” Dan mumbled, calculating the test’s result in his head as he was speaking. He wasn’t a great multi-tasker so he would have to recalculate presumably.   
“That’s what I was thinking. Thanks.” And she was gone again.   
Dan was now done with the pile of tests before him. He had a little break and started wondering about Patt’s weird questions. She didn’t normally teach geography. Why would she want to know about a Europe map in her classroom? And why did she want his advice on black board schemes? She did not make sense but Dan was sure he’d find out what was going on.   
His phone rang again, and Dan sighed. He would find out really soon, by the look of things.   
“Hello, Patt.”   
“Hello, Dan. Hang on, how do you know it’s me?”   
“You called twice already, and I can see that weird selfie you took whenever you call me.”   
“That’s right. Listen, Dan, do you think Joyce and Lucy are able to work together?”   
“Mmhh. Apart from the fact that I don’t know either of them particularly well I would think it should not be a problem. If you’re thinking it might be a problem because Joyce’s name sounds like joy, therefore happy and Lucy’s like Lucifer, therefore dark and sinister, I would say that you are being weirdly superstitious.”   
“Oh. I wasn’t thinking that far. I only thought because Lucy stole Joyce’s boyfriend…”  
“Patt!”  
“What?”   
“Would you like to come over here?”   
“Sorry?”  
“I can’t deal with this on the phone. Come over here and we can work together.”   
“That’s a great idea.”  
“See you.” Dan said and hung up. He quickly finished a few pieces of homework a couple of pupils had thrust upon him. He had just put his pen down when his doorbell rang.   
“Come in.” Dan said after opening the door.   
“Thank you.” Patt beamed.   
“Are you fine with just working?” Dan asked and hang Patt’s coat onto the hook behind the door.   
“Yeah, sure.” Patt said and wandered off into the kitchen. “Tea?”   
“Yes, do you mind if I sit down?” Dan asked and rolled his eyes.   
“Go ahead, love. I’ll bring you a cuppa in a second.”   
Dan started working. He was once again surprised how easy it was for him to start concentrating with that little bit of background noise. As soon as he knew that he wasn’t alone in his apartment concentrating came to him as easy as breathing. Patt came over after a few minutes and handed him a cup. Dan smiled up to her.  
“You’ve got an adorable smile, you know that?” Patt said and tousled Dan’s hair with the hand that was not holding the tea, thankfully. Dan blew an affectionate raspberry at Patt. “I mean it.” Dan nodded and turned back to working. Patt noisily unpacked her things while Dan scribbled happily.   
“Isn’t it interesting how we can work best if there is some sort of noise around?” Dan asked and took a long sip of his tea.  
“Speak for yourself.”  
“You called.” Dan reminded her.  
“You invited.”  
“Because you sounded like you needed.”   
“Alright, Mr English professor.” Patt rolled her eyes at him. “I guess school damaged us both in that way.”  
“I guess so.” They went back to work afterwards talking every now and then. Patt continued with the random questions but Dan was able to deal better with them in real life. He soon discovered that Patt was happy as long as he mumbled anything in response. It didn’t need to be anything intelligible, as long as he acknowledged her question she was satisfied.   
At the end of the working part of the day, Dan had done everything he had hoped for. He had taking longer than he would have thought but it was all quality time spent with Patt so he didn’t complain.  
“So, tell me.” Patt said when she had pushed her things into a messy pile that Dan would most certainly sort out later.   
“Tell you what?” Dan asked and folded his arms.   
“About Lester.”  
“What else do you want to hear? Haven’t I told you everything already?”   
“I’m not sure. We were in the staff room so I thought you might not have told me everything…” she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.  
“Are you accusing me of leaving out the detail where I cried in the shower?”   
“You cried in the shower?” Patt asked and threw her arms around Dan. Dan shook her off gently.   
“I was joking.” Dan assured her. “I am used to bullies. I can deal with this.”  
“Being used to it does not make it any better.”   
“It’s better than despair.”   
“Oh darling. Can I do anything to help?” Patt asked and threw her arms around him another time. Now squeezing hard so that Dan could not immediately free himself.   
“You could order pizza.”  
“So that you don’t have to talk on the phone?” Patt laughed. Dan saw a few tears in her eyes when she let go off him but Dan knew from the look of her nose that she wasn’t about to cry, her nostrils weren’t flared.   
“That would be great.” Dan said. Patt did call the pizza service and she also opened the door because Dan was in the bathroom, changing into pyjamas. When Dan emerged from the bathroom, Patt had set Dan’s computer up in his room, lit the gigantic candle Dan constantly forgot about, and placed the pizza on a chair she had pulled in front of the bed.   
“Patt, can you promise me something?” Dan asked once he settled down.  
“Sure.”  
“Can you take care of me just in case?”  
“Yes.” Patt said seriously and looked at him without averting her gaze.   
“That means a lot.” Dan smiled.   
“Let’s crack on with the film then, shall we?”


	10. December 10th - Sunday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you have a good week ahead of yourselves! <3 :)

Phil’s POV

Phil had done a fair share of his work the day before but having Martyn ring him for minutes on end at ten past eleven did not fit into his plan.   
“Good morning, love.” Martyn warbled.   
“Coming.” Phil mumbled and hung up. He pulled a hoodie over his head, put socks on and left his apartment. He had to return immediately because he forgot his glasses. He yawned and stumbled back into his apartment. Once he found his glasses, which was never easy, he went to the front door, unlocked it and waved Martyn inside. The whiff of fresh and terribly cold air woke Phil up a little but he still wasn’t keen on talking.   
“Morning.” Phil mumbled and closed the door behind Martyn.   
“Mum made me come this early. She said she wouldn’t give me food and I had to come to you for food.”  
“Still doesn’t excuse that you’re up that early.”  
“No, that was dad’s fault.” Martyn said cheerfully.   
“What do you want to eat?” Phil asked.  
“Cereal but let me make you a coffee first. You can go change.”  
“Martyn!” Phil whined.  
“Come on, we need to go out later so might as well get dressed now. I’m dressed.”  
“You’re being a bully.”   
“No, I’m not. I’m helping.”   
“Fine.” Phil said and went into his bedroom. He was already a lot more awake now, even if he would not have admitted that possibly.   
Phil came back from the bedroom and Martyn handed him a steaming cup of coffee. He smiled but Martyn wasn’t looking. He was rummaging through the cupboards looking for cereal.   
“We need to build up your cereal collection.” Martyn commented. “First, I want you to show me your school, though.”  
“Will do but we have to eat first.” Phil only noticed that he had not reacted in the proper way to Martyn’s ‘your school’ when he had a large spoonful of cereal in his mouth and therefore no possibility to set things right.   
“Let’s start.” Martyn said when he was done. Phil put his bowl into the sink, swallowed, finished his coffee and gestured around his apartment. After pointing out all the small knickknacks in his apartment they moved on to the proper school. Phil was enjoying himself immensely but as soon as he realised that he stopped immediately.   
“Why did you stop?” Martyn asked.  
“I don’t know why I am doing this. I won’t stay long.”  
“Always the pessimist, ey?” Martyn asked sympathetically.   
“I am a substitute teacher. They don’t need me.”   
“They need you now.” Martyn said and punched Phil’s shoulder. He threw an arm around his neck and Phil was momentarily not sure if that was supposed to be a hug or a headlock.   
“You’ve got a lot of dandruff.” Martyn informed Phil. “Just in case you were wondering.”   
“Yeah. Constantly.” Phil said and squeezed Martyn’s waist.   
“Anything for you lil bro. Now, where is your classroom?” Phil reluctantly let go off Martyn and walked a few steps.  
“I don’t really have a classroom actually. I teach in all sorts of rooms.”  
“Show me those then.”  
“I could show you… no, forget it.”   
“What?” Martyn grinned.   
“I could show you an amazing room.”   
“Go on then.” Phil walked a little quicker and opened Dan’s classroom door. “Doesn’t this just shout Christmas?”  
“You sound like a proud father.” And for that comment alone, Phil pulled Martyn away before he could really enjoy the sight. The rest of the tour consisted out of Phil pointing out rooms he had taught in and telling a few stories that jumped into mind.   
“And I think that’s it.” Phil said when they had arrived in front of the big hall.  
“So here is where your career in theatre starts?”  
“Yeah, sure.” Phil said, and they strolled back to his apartment. “Should we go shopping now or later?”  
“Now, than we can buy a takeaway and eat it still warm.”  
“You’re a genius.”   
“I know.”   
Phil and Martyn took Martyn’s car to get to the nearest grocery store which was by the way still not close. Phil assumed that that was so that the comparatively young pupils didn’t even think of stealing away to buy sweets. Martyn needed three attempts to park the car only over one and a quarter of spaces and not two. Phil was cracking up and couldn’t stop. Not even when Martyn pointed out that Phil would have done an even worse job. Martyn was smiling as well, and Phil’s shrieking laughter soon became more of a hiccup when they were surrounded by people anyway.   
“Okay. Let’s do this. You need frosted Shreddies and those hoops.”  
“Cheerios!” Phil shouted and blushed at the same time. He had, after all, shouted. After the cereal, they went on to the vegetable section. “This does look good, but if I’m honest, I’ll only ever eat a few slices of cucumber if anything.”  
“Cucumber it is.” Martyn said and flung one into the basket Phil was carrying. In the freezer section they loaded some frozen pizza and a couple of ready meals. They were just about to buy some bread when Phil spotted Dan and Patt and was immediately unable to move. “What is it now?” Martyn asked. He had to come back after leaving Phil behind accidentally.   
“It’s Dan Howell and Patt.” Martyn looked blankly at him. “My colleagues.”   
“Let’s say hello to Dan and his girlfriend.” Martyn said and smiled wickedly. Phil was annoyed with Martyn because of two things. First of all, Phil was bothered that the statement bothered him, he was also bothered that he didn’t think the possibility that they were a couple himself but secondly, he was annoyed because Martyn just set off and walked towards them. Phil had not believed that he was serious but he was undoubtedly heading towards them.   
“Hello. You must be Dan and you must be Patt.” Martyn said before Phil could reach him.   
“… yes?” Patt asked.   
“I’m Martyn. Phil is your new colleague I understand.” Martyn seemed not aware of the fact that his bright smile did not make the situation any better. Phil winced and started kneading his fingers. He was nervous and studied Dan. Dan glanced at Patt but then his eyes found Phil’s. Dan looked nervous and actually a little scared. He still wouldn’t look away and Phil couldn’t help admiring him for that.   
“Nice meeting you. We gotta dash unfortunately.” Patt grimaced and pulled Dan away. Dan held Phil’s gaze for a while before Patt pulled him behind a shelf.   
“Charming.” Martyn said. Phil seriously wondered if he was unaware of or simply chose to ignore Phil’s or in fact, everyone’s discomfort.   
Back in the car Martyn said suddenly, after not speaking to Phil throughout the whole process of paying and packing: “I would not have thought that Dan would be someone to decorate his room that way. I mean, to be fair, he was wearing a Christmas jumper but still.”  
“What do you mean, Dan’s room?” Phil played dumb.  
“Dan Howell. Phil, I can read.”   
“Oh, right.”  
“Do you like Dan?” Martyn asked casually.  
“Not that it matters as he obviously can’t stand me.”   
“I wouldn’t say that.”  
“Though luck, I would.”   
It was a little difficult to restore the cheerful atmosphere after that conversation but there was not much that takeaway and tea with biscuits afterwards couldn’t fix. Phil knew that Martyn was sorry. Martyn didn’t say as much but he did look sorry and he kept offering Phil sweets. The last part might have been a revenge on Phil for always having had better set of teeth than him.   
Martyn left in the early evening. Phil accompanied him to the car, which he regretted as soon as he realised that he had to make his way back to the apartment on his own. He wasn’t necessarily scared. He just didn’t want to be able to think. 

Dan’s POV

Dan had not intended for Patt to stay over. He had no problem with her sleeping on the small couch in the living room area. She said she was fine with that and he had to admit that she was far too tired to be driving home safely. The only reason Dan wasn’t overly enthusiastic for Patt to stay over was that he knew that starting to work with her around in the morning would be hard. He should really have known that sleeping long was also difficult with Patt around. It was a lot earlier than usual when Patt woke Dan with shouting something about an empty fridge. Dan groaned and turned around again.   
“Did you hear me?” Patt’s voice was suddenly very close and made Dan flinch. “Sorry.” She didn’t sound particularly sorry.  
“Is there enough for breakfast?” Dan mumbled incoherently.  
“As long as you promise to make me something proper for lunch.”   
“Okay. I promise.”   
Patt would not allow him to lie down again so he got up and drank the tea Patt had kindly prepared. However, he did not let Patt persuade him to leave the house early. He stayed as long as he was happy with the finished play. Yes, he finished the play. He had all the scenes written out and liked most of them. As soon as he had read over them once more he called Patt, who was watching something on his computer after giving up on persuading him.   
“Let’s get going!” Patt shouted enthusiastically.   
“You might think about getting dressed first.” Dan advised her.   
“Just this once I will.” Patt said and pushed Dan out of his own room.   
“Wait a second! My stuff is in there and yours is out here!”   
“Are you always so fussy?”   
“You know me. Of course I am.” They awkwardly pushed past one another in the small doorframe. “Why are we making such a fuss?” Dan asked.  
“What do you mean?” Patt called, it sounded like she had a jumper over her head. Dan turned around and indeed, there she was struggling to find the right hole for the right limb.   
“You have seen me get dressed before.”  
“Loads.”  
“Why are we making such a fuss?”  
“Cause you’re weird?”   
“Thanks.”  
“Pleasure.”   
Once they were both dressed and ready to go, they jumped into Patt’s car. Dan had mentioned that they could also walk as the supermarket was close but Patt had argued that she wanted to load Dan’s fridge and that she didn’t want to carry all that stuff. Dan had given in, as usual.   
In the supermarket, Dan let Patt choose most of his things. He never knew what he wanted to eat. He was fine with just having to do with the things in the fridge. Patt bought pasta to make as their late lunch. Dan thought they were finished then but Patt seemed to have other ideas.   
“Do you want a baguette?” Patt asked.   
“To do what?”  
“I know you’re deliberately trying to wind me up.” Patt informed him. “To eat.” She answered anyways.   
“Sounds good.” Dan followed Patt to the bread section and listened a little to what she was saying about the different brands. Patt was in the middle of describing why she thought one brand baked better than another, when a man walked towards them and said: “Hello. You must be Dan and you must be Patt.”   
“… yes?” Patt asked. Dan was thankful that she had taken the part of speaking. He would most certainly not have been able to say a word without stammering.   
“I’m Martyn. Phil is your new colleague I understand.” Martyn said. Just when he had said Lester’s name, Dan saw him walking towards them as well. Dan glanced over to Patt before his eyes naturally seemed to find Lester’s. For a split second, Dan thought how unfair it was that someone like Lester had so beautiful blue eyes but in the next moment he was too occupied by trying not to show that he was trembling to be able to waste any energy on thinking about eye colours. Even if Dan would have wanted to, he could not avert his gaze. Maybe that was because he was so terrified of what might happen next that he was in fact petrified.   
“Nice meeting you. We gotta dash unfortunately.” Patt said and pulled Dan away. It was good that she actually pulled him. Dan wasn’t sure if he would have been able to start moving without help. Even though Dan’s legs seemed to work again, his eyes stayed fixed on Lester’s until the view was blocked by a shelf of tinned vegetables. “Let’s get you home.” Patt muttered, and Dan wasn’t sure if she was talking to him or herself.   
Outside the supermarket Patt packed the groceries into her car while Dan waited dumbly next to her. “I know that my mother’s judgement isn’t amazing but I had hoped her to be at least a little right this time. It’s nearly Christmas for heaven’s sake!”   
Dan feared that his voice might tremble if he attempted to answer to he simply nodded and closed the boot for Patt while she put the trolley back.  
Dan’s petrified state only ever really left him when he got out of the car again and into his apartment. Patt closed the door and put her hands onto her hips, looking at Dan. “Can you tell me how I can cheer you up?” she asked.  
Dan shrugged. His lip started to tremble – trust him to get worked up after one encounter in a supermarket where nothing happened. “Tea?” he asked eventually.   
“Tea.” Patt smiled. She squeezed Dan’s shoulder on her way to the kettle. “How about you settle down and I cook the pasta?”  
“’kay.” Dan’s voice was still pretty weak. He cleared his throat angrily.   
While Patt was busy in the kitchen, Dan set up his computer in the living room, put on a film and started working on the play. He soon realised that that was a mistake. He was not in the mood to work on something he was proud of under normal conditions. Instead, Dan started watching the film. Patt brought him his tea and tousled his hair. A couple of minutes later, she was back with the pasta. They watched the film together. Afterwards, Patt said goodbye and left, after hugging Dan. Dan managed a smile but that was literally all.   
Alone again, Dan cleaned up after their meal and listened to some music. It was just past six o’clock but he was already terribly tired. He changed into his pyjamas. He reflected the weekend. Theoretically, he should have felt a sense of pride, having completed all his work already. He should also feel like his energy was completely restored due to spending some quality time with Patt but nothing of that was the case. Dan felt tired. There was no energy in him. He felt sorry for the children he would have to teach the next day. It was a shame that they needed to suffer just because Dan had had a bad weekend.   
It took Dan all his willpower to not cry himself to sleep. Tomorrow would be a new day and there was realistically no way it could be as bad as today had been.


	11. December 11th - Monday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy everyone and have a good day! <3 :)

Phil’s POV

Phil didn’t know how exactly, but somehow the new day had restored faith and optimism in him. Yesterday had not been great, but there was no law that stated that today had to be exactly the same. Phil was determined to get to know Dan. They got off on the wrong foot, but it did not have to be too late just yet to get to know each other. It would be harder than starting off on the right foot at the very beginning but it was possible. Phil wanted to speak to Dan. He mainly wanted to show him that he can and will work hard. There, he thought, lay the reason for Dan’s contempt.   
It was true that Phil had been determined in the morning. It was, however, also true that he prepared himself that his plan might not succeed. What he didn’t expect, was to have his plan left in tatters as soon as arriving in front of the staff room. Patt approached him. Phil was not able to read her face so he waited for her to start speaking. “I don’t know what your plan is but you can be sure that I won’t tolerate you bullying Dan.” Phil’s first instinct was to start laughing. This was clearly a joke, wasn’t it? “He works hard, and he has no use for someone like you.” Not a joke then. Phil stared at Patt, unable to answer. How could he have been, when he couldn’t even follow his own thoughts?   
Patt glared at Phil for a few more seconds before turning around, leaving him standing there dumbfounded. The first thing Phil came to realise was that he could forget about his plan to get to know Dan. The other part of the plan where he wanted to show Dan that he could work hard was still viable. Phil would help Dan and maybe win his trust in that way. Who was he kidding? Dan would never trust Phil! Even though Phil wanted to accept the truth, he could not entirely stop hoping that one day, Dan could become his friend.   
School was okay that day. Phil actually couldn’t imagine what he would have done if it hadn’t been for his pupils. They were charming as usual. It was a joy to teach them. The best thing though was that they managed to take his mind off Dan for a short while. In breaks he couldn’t help thinking about him. Phil felt a mixture of things. He was angry at himself, he felt guilty, not least of all because of having spent time in Dan’s classroom without asking, and on top of that all, Phil was sad. The general sad feeling consisted out of subcategories of another mixture of feelings. He was disappointed, he was hurt and he might even despair every now and then. Looking at all the feelings, it was a miracle really that Phil managed to escape them at all, no matter for how short an amount of time.   
Drama club after school was inevitable. It wasn’t really like Phil actually didn’t want to go. It was more like he dreaded to go. He wanted to have a possibility to push the boat towards the general correct destination but he was also afraid to have the responsibility on his shoulders.   
Phil arrived just on time in the big hall. He had taken care not to be too early but most certainly, not to arrive too late. A couple of children rushed into the hall after him. Dan looked around, avoiding Phil, checking that everyone was there. He seemed satisfied and started speaking.  
“Hello everyone!” he sounded cheerful. Phil couldn’t fight the smile on his lips. In order to hide it at least, he went through the room to close the two doors. “I am very happy to see you all here again. Today we are actually going to start to work on the play. The play is done so we can start casting. Does anyone know what casting means?”   
“Piece of cake!” an older boy shouted.  
“No, Mitch, it’s not a piece of cake.” Dan laughed. Everyone joined in with him and Phil obviously couldn’t help himself either. “Go on then. What does casting mean?”  
“It’s when moviemakers choose the actors.” Mitch answered.  
“Yes. It’s the process where directors chose their actors.” Dan repeated. “Well done. So. Today we are going to cast the main characters. There are quite a few. I think everyone that wants to will have a chance to get a big role. There are also a lot of small characters which are just as important. I won’t force anyone to do anything. Just be honest with me and we can sort things out.” Phil was smiling through the entire thing. It was very easy to forget that everything was not alright when he listened to Dan speaking. Phil was still caught up that he didn’t see Dan walking over to him. He basically had nothing more than a spilt second to prepare himself.   
“I’ll talk to groups of five and try to figure out who I can cast them for. You take care of the rest.” Dan’s tone wasn’t exactly friendly but it wasn’t mean either, it was business-like. Phil nodded just in time for Dan to see before he turned and walked away.   
“Okay everyone!” Dan’s voice had changed tone completely. “I am going to speak to you in small groups now. Mr Lester over there will now do something fun with you.” Phil thought that maybe Dan sounded ever so slightly sarcastic in that last sentence but it was subtle enough so that none of the children realised. In the next moment, Phil realised that he had more important things to think about. For instance, what he should be doing now.   
“Gather, everyone!” Phil said loudly and waved the excited children over to him. “Drama is very exhausting.” Safe start. “It’s important to prepare before attempting anything. I sound like a PE teacher now, don’t I?” The children were good enough to laugh. “That’s not entirely wrong actually. In drama you have to speak loudly and move across the stage in a sort of choreography. In other words: you have to use a lot of muscles all at once. Each one of these muscles needs to be stretched.” Phil was happy enough with his words so far but now he did not know how to move on. “Anyone any ideas how to warm those muscles?”   
A couple of hands shot up into the air. Phil pointed at the corresponding child and listened to the ideas. A few suggested screaming, running or playing games. Phil decided to go with a mixture of the nice versions.   
“Those are some very good ideas! I think what’s best is to just follow me. You copy what I do and maybe someone will take over from me.” Phil said. “Okay. Form a circle. That’s it. Good. Now jump on one leg, your right leg. Count to ten and switch sides.” After jumping on one leg, Phil made them wheel their arms, shake their entire body, stretch their calves and finally sing and dance a nursery rhyme. Phil panicked and chose the first one that came into mind: “1, 2, 3, 4, 5 I once caught a fish alive. 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 then I let it go again.” It was not really a choreography they danced. It was mostly just shaking the body again but it was fun and everyone felt warm afterwards. Parts of the group had changed throughout the process of warming up but everyone was warm in the end.   
“Good work everyone!” Dan said. It was stupid, but Phil thought he heard himself not included in that. Phil felt a pang of sadness at that but listening to Dan speaking to the children immediately charmed a smile onto his face. Dan was a few years younger than Phil and yet he was a better teacher than Phil would ever be. How was that fair?

Dan’s POV

When Dan woke up the next morning, he realised that he had no time to worry about Lester. If today was the 11th of December that meant that he had next to no time to teach all the children the lines they needed to know. Even the cleverest children would probably struggle. Some of the youngest ones weren’t even that fluent in reading. No matter how tightly he would pack the drama club lessons, there was no way everything would be done in time for the evening.   
In the car Dan finally accepted that he had to bend Mr Stevens rules ever so slightly and somehow include the play in his regular hours. Most of his pupils were part of the play and the few that weren’t wouldn’t suffer under reading a play and listening to different Christmas rituals. This plan meant a lot of work for Dan. Not only had the weekend been hard, he was already exhausted just thinking about all the work in store for him. The only good thing about the extra load of work was that there was no way Dan would have any time to worry about different things. Work would consume him and he’d have no reason to live outside of it.   
Dan arrived not as early as usual. It turned out that it took a lot longer to get ready in the morning without any energy whatsoever. When he pulled into a parking space, he couldn’t help yawning. Not only was this December the least festive he had ever felt it was also the most stressed he had ever been. Dan yawned once more, hoping that that meant he wouldn’t have to yawn in front of colleagues or worse his pupils.   
In the staff room Patt jumped up when she saw him. Luckily, she didn’t come running towards him. That would have only lead to people speculating. Not about their relationship, Dan couldn’t care less what people thought, what he worried about was concern for his health or well-being in general. He couldn’t stand people fussing about him when they thought he wasn’t well. They didn’t care for the majority of the year but then they suddenly felt the urge to ‘help’.   
“How are you?” Patt asked sympathetically. Dan did not know exactly what she was talking about. He sensed however that Patt would try to talk him out of the play in total when he confessed how much work it really was and how much it stressed him out.   
“Good.” Dan answered.   
“You can always talk to me.”  
“I had the impression I already did.” Dan smiled. Patt seemed to believe him that everything was alright. Maybe she thought that he couldn’t make jokes in difficult times. Dan would take care not to tell her that the, maybe not best but certainly most jokes formed when Dan was in a bad situation. It was a method of coping.   
The bell soon called Dan to his classroom. He was happy to leave. Fortunately, Dan did not even have to rely on the children to improve his mood. He was already reconciled just by entering his room. December felt a little more festive and the whole situation manageable.   
“Today we are going to talk about one of the greatest men alive. And with that I don’t mean myself but the amazing Charles Dickens.” Dan was not sure if his class actually understood this kind of humour or if they just sensed when he expected a laugh. Either way, the atmosphere was cheerful, and they started working.   
At lunch, looking back at the two previous classes, Dan came to terms with the fact that he could not possibly finish off with Dickens in a matter of days and then concentrate on the play. He needed to split the lessons and work on both simultaneously. He was not entirely certain but he had the suspicion that that complicated things a little. He sighed and opened the folder where he stored all the things for the play, only to have it shut by Patt in the next moment.   
“I know you said you were well but I won’t have you starve for death.”   
“Starve to death?” Dan laughed and poked his stomach.   
“Collapse because of malnutrition. Whatever you fancy.” Patt shrugged. She pulled Dan out of his seat and pushed him to the queue. It took Dan the whole duration of the queue to accept that he would not get to work on the play, and then at least the walk back to his chair to convince himself that there was no need to panic.   
Even if Dan wasn’t working, Patt was still the main contributor to their conversation. Only when he started eating, Dan realised that he was in fact quite hungry. He was so occupied with eating and not thinking about the play that he forgot to answer every now and then.   
After lunch Dan worked at a quicker pace in his classes but Dickens wasn’t the sort of thing where you could skip something. You had to work your way through. At least Dan knew he had to work his way through, for his own satisfaction and out of respect for Dickens.   
Dan lost no time to collect his things and to get to the big hall. He was the first to arrive but no more than 10 minutes later they were ready to start. Leading the drama club was one of the easiest things Dan had ever done. Everything came naturally to him. Remembering that he had to instruct Lester on what to do, was what momentarily threw him off balance. Dan had to gather all his strength to approach Lester. That felt ridiculous, especially because of the couple of words Dan only said but he couldn’t pretend that it wasn’t necessary. “I’ll talk to groups of five and try to figure out who I can cast them for. You take care of the rest.” Dan said and left again. Out of the corner of his eyes he had seen Lester smiling for no apparent reason and that unsettled him.   
Working with the small groups completely claimed Dan’s attention. At the end however, he was a little earlier done with his work than Lester was. Dan did not want to make it obvious so that Lester did not have to feel like he needed to stop. Dan busied himself with organising the notes on the small table. Now that he had nothing to think about his ears seemed to work again and he heard the group but predominately Lester singing: “1, 2, 3, 4, 5 I once caught a fish alive. 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 then I let it go again.” Dan had to smile a little. He did not allow himself to finish the thought but he sensed that he might have misjudged Lester’s abilities to teach.   
Dan snapped out of his state as soon as they stopped singing. He talked for a few minutes, bringing the lesson to a close. Afterwards, he only took care that no one was left in the room. Other than that, he said goodbye to a couple of children that were collected by their parents and made his way home. He had a lesson plan to revise after all.


	12. December 12th - Tuesday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! <3

Phil’s POV

The day had ended not as good as Phil had naively hoped in the morning but it hadn’t been as bad as he had feared after that one sided conversation with Patt. If anything, Phil’s hope to change their situation had increased after Dan had been indifferent at most but not in any way hostile.   
Phil woke up with a different and yet similar kind of determination to the day before. He would give his very best to convince Dan that he wasn’t a bad person. While brushing his teeth, Phil suddenly remembered that Patt had not only said that Dan had no use for him but also that Phil would bully him. He spit out the toothpaste and stared at himself. The look on his face was uncanny. There was a mixture of anger, fear, sadness and determination. Obviously, as soon as Phil started trying to figure out the look, it vanished.   
Phil knew that he never wanted to be a bully. He also thought that he had never behaved like one. Did he behave like one in front of Dan? He had been distant and maybe even a little rude but he had not bullied him, had he? Phil didn’t want Patt’s words to be true. He needed them to be wrong, actually.   
After that little down in the bathroom, Phil needed a cup of tea and at least five minutes to restore some of the hope and determination in him. He forced a smile on his face which grew more and more genuine the more children he passed on his way to the staff room but collapsed briefly when he studied the board. He was supposed to help in Patt’s baking lesson. Phil forced the smile back onto his face. Patt couldn’t be a bad person if Dan liked her.   
The bell rang, and Phil made his way to the classroom. Patt wasn’t there when he arrived. Quite a few children were, however. Phil smiled at them and walked through the path they formed towards the door. Phil opened the door and ushered the children inside.  
“Good morning.” He said cheerfully. He looked around the room. He had seen it before but he hadn’t yet been inside. The tables were higher than usual. There were sockets for the electric whisks and each table had a set of bowls, a scale and other measurement devices. The room looked very nice. Phil smiled at the busy children and crossed his arms. Patt still didn’t arrive but Phil would not start her class without permission.   
Phil was just studying the sheet of paper on the teacher’s desk which he hoped would inform him about the recipe but in fact told him where to go in the case of a fire, when a little boy tucked at his sleeve.  
“Mr Lester?”   
“Yes?” Phil did not know the boy’s name.   
“Can you help please?” the boy pulled Phil to the end of the classroom. A small girl was standing there, crying.   
“Whatever is the matter?” Phil asked and crouched down.   
“I can’t bake.” Big tears streamed down the girl’s cheeks as she held up a bandaged right hand.   
“Have you seen Ratatouille?” Phil smiled. The girl stopped sobbing and nodded confused. “That’s what we’ll do.” Phil let himself fall onto his knees. “There are only two exceptions.” Phil tried very hard to keep his serious expression. “First of all: You’re not a rat.” The girl smiled, and her friends laughed loudly. “And secondly: You don’t get to pull my hair.”   
“I don’t sit on your head either, do I?” she sounded hoarse but the tears had stopped for good.   
“No.” Phil grinned. “But you can sit on my shoulders if you want.” The girl nods eagerly. Phil stood up and lifted her onto his shoulders. “You safe up there, Remy?” Phil asked. The boy tucked his sleeve again. “That’s not Remy, that’s Fiona!”   
“Remy is the rat in Ratatouille.” Another boy informed him.   
“Correct.” Phil laughed and turned around. He wobbled ever so slightly, without seriously endangering Fiona, when he saw Dan standing in the door. Was that a smile on his face?   
“Good morning everyone!” Dan had looked away as soon as Phil had spotted him. He was now walking to the front of the classroom and smiled brightly. “Ms Reagnet can’t be with us today because she is on her way to Germany. You’ll have to do with Mr Lester and myself.” Phil flinched ever so slightly when Dan said his name. Fiona wiggled a little in response. It was a small relief to know that she had noticed but not understood.   
Dan went on to explaining what they were going to do in the class. One of Phil’s concerns had been that he would not be able to follow the instructions and that he would disappoint Fiona but biscuits seemed straightforward enough. The hardest part was to get onto his knees with Fiona on his shoulders. After that, it was plain sailing. Phil had a lot of fun with both Dan and Fiona’s instructions.   
Phil set Fiona down after they had delivered their biscuits to the front. “Wow, Fiona. Those look amazing!” Phil said and pretended to inspect the biscuits.  
“Great work, Fiona.” Dan joined in with a laugh. Phil smiled thankfully at him while Fiona tried to explain that Phil had made them in between laughs. “As I said, great work, Fiona.” Dan repeated, and Phil took Fiona’s unbandaged hand to go back to their place.   
At the end of the lesson, the biscuits were baked, and each child collected their own. Everyone had left the room, and Dan and Phil were briefly alone together when Fiona came running back. “I want you to have a biscuit, Mr Lester.” Phil could not say no and picked the smallest biscuit. When he stood up again, he saw that Dan had already left. Phil was a little disappointed but reminded himself that Dan had smiled quite a few times. There was no reason to despair but quite a few reasons to continue hoping.   
The second lesson was not as much fun as the first but it was still good. A couple of the children excitedly told Phil about their role in the play. It was nice to see them so ecstatic about something Phil really enjoyed as well.   
After the second lesson, Phil went to the cafeteria. He got into the queue and patiently waited to be served. He had no one to talk to as usual but he was fine with eavesdropping on other people’s conversations. So far, he did not know which he preferred, those of children or of adults.   
Phil had just chosen a desert when someone cleared his throat behind him. “On my way, sorry.” Phil said and turned around. Dan was standing in front of him, tray in his hand. “Do you maybe want to sit over there?” he asked. “I mean. We could discuss drama club.”   
“Yes, sure. Certainly.” Phil said, evidently not in control of his speech centre. The corners of Dan’s mouth lifted which lead Phil to believe that what he had seen earlier had also been a smile.   
“Do you want me to tell you my plans?” Dan asked once they sat down. He looked nervous but more because of anticipation and not fear.  
“Yes, please.” Phil said. He tried to contain his joy as good as possible. Dan had come to him he should not chase him away again.   
Dan talked about the play and then his plan for the time leading up to the Christmas evening. Phil was truly amazed by the time Dan must have spent planning everything.   
“Do you think you could do something similar to what you did yesterday? I want to focus on the leads today so it would be great if you could entertain the others while I’m busy.”   
“Certainly. I’m looking forward to it.” Dan smiled but he frowned as well – a reminder for Phil not to show his real enthusiasm. “I really like your play.” Phil couldn’t help himself.  
“Thank you.” Dan’s frown deepened.   
“I think the children are going to be great.” Dan’s frown disappeared immediately, and they started speaking about their actors again. Never has a lunchbreak been so much fun. Actually, the whole day seemed the best Phil had had so far. 

Dan’s POV

Dan woke up to his merciless alarm clock. He got up with great difficulty and took a shower. Afterwards he felt a little more human. The tea did the rest, and Dan was soon ready to leave. He had spent the entire evening the day before planning and it felt like he was on top of everything. Just before leaving the apartment, Dan checked his phone. He made a point never to check it any sooner because the whole morning could be over in what felt like a split second if he allowed the phone to capture him.   
There were two new messages from Patt. It was difficult being incredibly famous. The first text said: ‘Sorry.’ Dan frowned but the second text explained the first: ‘You do remember that you have to cover for me first thing tomorrow? I did tell you, didn’t I? You’ll be fine. Just a bit of biscuit baking. Nothing you won’t manage. I’ll give you the recipe tomorrow.’ Of course Dan did not remember. He groaned and hurried down the stairs. Now he had even more reason to arrive on time.   
It was after car journeys like this, that Dan was happy to be driving alone. There were no witnesses for his behaviour. Dan parked the car and raced towards the staff room. Around the first corner, he ran into Patt and stopped.  
“There you are.”   
“Sorry.”  
“I’m sorry. I know you have a lot to do.”  
“Baking isn’t that draining.” Dan assured her while catching his breath.   
“It might be today.”  
“But you said biscuits. They are surely not that difficult. We don’t have to ice them.”   
“No, yes, it is biscuits. I’m talking about something else.” Someone called Patt to tell her that they had to leave. The first bell had already rung as well.  
“What are you talking about then?”  
“Lester is assigned to help in the class. Don’t let him get to you.” Patt was gone before Dan could answer anything. Even though it was already quite late, Dan went to the staff room and put his bags next to his place. It felt like he had to use all the time he could to brace himself for that lesson with Lester.   
The door was open when Dan arrived. He had expected nothing else but it did not calm him to hear Lester’s voice. Dan stepped a little closer, until he could see into the room. Lester was crouching in front of a small girl who was crying. Dan felt his heartbeat quicken. What had just happened here?   
Dan recognised the little girl as Fiona. She seemed to have hurt her wrist. It was bandaged. Now, she was saying something but it was too quiet to hear. Lester smiled and asked: “Have you seen Ratatouille?” Fiona looked just as confused as Dan felt. What was going on? “That’s what we’ll do. There are only two exceptions.” Lester was on his knees now, speaking seriously. “First of all: You’re not a rat.” The sudden laughter made Dan flinch a little. “And secondly: You don’t get to pull my hair.” Fiona said something Dan couldn’t understand, and Phil answered: “No. But you can sit on my shoulders if you want.” Dan slowly started to understand what was happening. With every inch he felt more certain, a smile appeared on his face. “You safe up there, Remy?” Lester asked. He was still not facing Dan. Only after two boys had discussed something, did Phil turn around. Dan hoped that the surprise was not written too plainly into his face. Dan composed himself quickly and walked to the teacher’s desk: “Good morning everyone!”  
The rest of the lesson was very funny. Lester distracted Dan constantly but he didn’t really mind. Lester was awfully nice with Fiona. Also, it wasn’t like he wanted to attract attention. Getting distracted was entirely Dan’s fault. Dan found it surprisingly easy actually to speak to Lester in company of children. He also had to admit that Lester was pretty funny. He knew how to treat children. It was only towards the end of the lesson, that Dan started worrying again. He did not feel fit to speak to Lester on his own. He was incredibly thankful that Fiona came running back so that he could steal away unnoticed.   
During the next hour, Dan had to realise how rude he had been. There was obviously that incident after the baking lesson but he had not been exactly nice at any point during their acquaintance. On top of that, Dan had to admit that he could not stop thinking about Lester’s smile. He had smiled at him the way he had smiled at Fiona. It had been a very honest and charming smile. These two things were the reasons why Dan decided to give Lester a chance. These were indeed the reasons but it was much easier to say that he gave Lester a chance for the benefit of the play.   
At lunch, Dan saw Lester standing in the queue. He could have approached him at any point but being Dan, he only approached him when he had already reached the deserts. The approach, it turned out, wasn’t the hardest part. Starting to speak was. Dan cleared his throat.   
“On my way, sorry.” Lester sounded slightly annoyed. He turned around. Dan could not quite read him but he was certainly surprised.   
“Do you maybe want to sit over there?” There. Dan had asked. Problem was only that Lester didn’t answer. “I mean. We could discuss drama club.”   
“Yes, sure. Certainly.” Dan was relieved. He didn’t try to fight the small smile that took possession of his mouth.   
“Do you want me to tell you my plans?” Dan was terribly afraid of any sort of silence even more so than he was of speaking.   
“Yes please.” Dan still couldn’t read him. He decided not to keep on trying but to start talking. At first, Dan talked about the play. It had occurred to him that Lester could not possibly know that much about it as they had never spoken before. After roughly describing the play, Dan outlined his plans for the rehearsals leading up to the big night. Lester basically didn’t say anything throughout the presentation. Dan was trying not to think that it had been a mistake to invite Lester to sit together. “Do you think you could do something similar to what you did yesterday?” Dan asked in the end. “I want to focus on the leads today so it would be great if you could entertain the others while I’m busy.”   
“Certainly. I’m looking forward to it.” Dan was usually proud of his abilities to read other people but in front of Mr Lester these abilities seemed to be non-existing. What he had said sounded sarcastic but that didn’t fit the look on his face. “I really like your play.” Mr Lester seemed a bit nervous that made Dan sure it was sarcasm.   
“Thank you.” He had no idea how to react to it. Surely, pretending not to know would be the safest option.   
“I think the children are going to be great.” Now, Mr Lester sounded and looked genuine again. Dan relaxed, and they spoke about the different children in the drama club. It was actually really nice to be able to exchange opinions on that group. Patt usually listened but Lester could actually answer.   
Apart from the first time, Dan had not yet looked forward to the drama club quite as much as this. The three lessons before were nice but Dickens and therefore repetitive. The only thing that could match the baking lesson from the morning was drama club in the afternoon. The children were a joy and it was nice to be able to rely on Mr Lester to keep everyone entertained.   
After drama club however, Dan felt unable to talk to Mr Lester again. He felt like his social skills were entirely used up after the day. Instead of going home, Dan worked in the library. He regretted that decision as soon as he started thinking about Mr Lester. There was of course no guarantee that he would not have thought about him at home as well but the school certainly prompted the thoughts so quickly. He was after all in the same spot where Lester had mocked him a few days back. It was weird that he should have changed so quickly. And yet nothing about his behaviour that day had seemed fake. Dan spent much longer thinking about this than he had wanted.


	13. December 13th - Wednesday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy you lovely folks! <3 :)

Phil’s POV

Phil was a little disappointed to see Dan leaving to quickly after drama club the day before. He was disappointed, but he was not discouraged. Once he remembered everything after waking up, Phil practically raced to the staff room. He really hoped to be able to talk to Dan. They were on a good way. Everything could be fine if they just talked to each other, Phil was sure. He opened the door to the staff room and saw Dan and Patt at their usual places, talking about something. There was no way Phil could guess what they were talking about. All he knew was that they were talking animatedly. Phil did not know what to think either. So far, Dan had not given him any indication as to what Phil should think. He had barely finished that thought when Dan looked over to him. He seemed to be surprised. Phil smiled at him but Dan looked away quickly. Phil still couldn’t know for sure what Dan thought but his behaviour was indication enough. For the remaining time until the first lesson, Phil settled down on a chair at the opposite end of the staff room. It surely gave Dan a sense of security but it did not prevent Phil from staring at Dan. Phil was still as intrigued as ever. He wanted to know Dan. He wanted to be close to him. He knew that the first one was difficult enough and the second one basically impossible but that didn’t stop him.   
The bell rang. Phil tore his gaze away with great difficulty. It wasn’t like he only now realised how handsome Dan was. It was more the fact that he started to wonder how many blows his determination could still survive. Right now, he was still determined and hopeful but that might stop, and Phil was not looking forward to the longing that would present itself. Phil stood up and slowly made his way to the computer room. He was hoping that he would not be reminded of Dan too often during the lessons.   
Maybe he should just stop hoping altogether. It seemed like whatever he hoped for would most certainly not happen. In this case, Dan was practically the first thing they started speaking about. It was a topic Phil enjoyed, that wasn’t the problem. The problem was more the fact that he enjoyed it a little too much. It was not a safe problem for Phil to talk about. The more he talked the more depressed he was afterwards. The second lesson was still in the computer room. He had set the task that the (already quite advanced) class should write about something Christmas-y and program a few details. A few children made snowflakes appear or snowmen dance. Only one stood out slightly. He had written about Dan and programmed it so that Mr Howell always appeared in Comic Sans.   
“Good job but I told you to write about something Christmas-y.” Phil said.   
“Mr Howell’s classroom is Christmas in a nutshell.”  
“Okay, I’ll give you that.” What ensued was a discussion about Dan’s classroom. Phil had spent a majority of the evening before in the classroom, once he had made sure that he was alone in the building of course. That was why he knew everything in quite some detail. The discussion also lasted for quite a while which was why Phil sent the children out quite early because it was not possible to work for the last five minutes. Phil followed the children. He involuntarily stopped in front of Dan’s classroom. He slowed down very naturally and only noticed when he was already standing there. Dan was just finishing the lesson as well. Phil wanted to leave in order not to be found outside of the room when Dan said something and made him freeze on the spot. Dan said: “It is okay if you want to listen to my music without me but I would appreciate you asking me first.” Phil’s heart started beating faster. He imagined all sorts of ways Dan could possibly find out that Phil had been the one to listen to the music when suddenly a boy confessed that he had listened to the music, too. Dan said: “Thank you for telling me. Don’t worry. Just ask the next time.” Phil started breathing again and realised that he had to leave now. He ran around the corner but couldn’t continue running because two teachers came towards him. He stopped running and walked as fast as he could. Only when he was back in the staff room did he realise that the behaviour was very weird. As long as he was not found outside of Dan’s classroom, there was nothing that could happen to him. You were always wiser afterwards.   
Dan did not invite Phil to eat with him at lunch. With Patt there he had no reason to want company. Phil understood but he was still sad. Throughout lunch and the following classes, Phil wondered what Dan would be like in drama club that day. Would he go all the way back to basically ignoring Phil? Would he treat him the way he had treated him yesterday? With respect? Theoretically, Phil knew that he just had to wait and see but it was never easy to stop worrying.   
Drama club arrived eventually. Phil was still just as excited to see how Dan would treat him. His mood lightened when Dan acknowledged his presence with a nod, he was not invisible to him. When Dan said that he was going to go through the first scene with them, Phil’s mood darkened again. It was a tiny difference but it felt massive to Phil. The day before, Dan had always said that they were doing something, them together. Today it appeared to be only him.   
All it took for Phil to be reconciled again was Dan to ask: “Could you help me here, please?” He was undoubtedly reading too much into everything but this question felt like an appreciation for the help Phil was providing. It was very welcome.   
Phil was eager to have the day end well. Dan leaving immediately complicated matters slightly. Phil felt deflated as he walked to the staff room to get his things. Through a window, he saw that his car was not the only one in the car park. There was only one other. Phil checked the time and basically ran towards the library. Sure enough, there was still light burning in there. The reception desk was empty. Phil looked around the room and caught a glimpse of Dan. Dan had not seen him. Phil saw that there were a few books scattered around on the floor. He took this as his chance to distribute a few more among them and switch positions of a few. This was not fundamentally evil. He was doing this for a reason: he wanted to spend time with Dan. He needed to exploit the time in which his determination was not yet completely damaged. 

Dan’s POV

Dan was really happy that Patt was back. This was maybe a bit weird, considering that she had only been gone for one day. In Dan’s defence: A lot had happened during that one day. A lot that required intensive discussion. Dan did not plan how much he wanted to tell Patt. He would not tell her everything because he himself wasn’t too sure about what he thought just yet. He needed to be wary of Lester, that was as much as he knew. Telling Patt how much he had impressed him felt wrong, especially since Dan had already relativized it himself after remembering what Lester had been like a few days back. With all this in mind, Dan still had not thought about the possibility of not telling Patt anything. They started talking about her trip to the German Christmas market. Then they went on to the baking lesson but before Dan had built up enough confidence to start telling parts of the truth Patt said: “I feel incredibly bad.”   
“You don’t have to.”  
“I know I have to.”  
“Why?” Dan had the feeling he wasn’t following.  
“Why? Because I am the reason you had to spend not one but two long lessons with Lester! You have no idea how sorry I feel for you!”   
“It’s not that ba…”  
“You don’t have to lie to me. I know you’re very brave.”  
“I’m not lying. It was tricky.” Dan had wanted to continue but Patt intervened. For a while Dan tried to persuade her that things really weren’t that bad but once he lost the desire to tell her the truth he stopped. It was precisely in this moment that Dan looked up and saw Lester. He looked away immediately. Dan was a little ashamed that he hadn’t tried to correct Patt more fiercely but he was mostly just confused. He did not know who he could believe.   
Dan felt a little better when he was in his classroom. Teaching always had some sort of routine, and on top of that children usually always told you the truth. This was all highly preferable to anything else in Dan’s life at the moment.   
In the second lesson, while the children were working on an exercise, Noah asked if they could listen to some music. Dan couldn’t see why not and walked over to the stereo. You would have to have a similar compulsion to Dan’s in order to understand how he could tell that someone had used the stereo. The buttons simply weren’t turned into their right position. Dan waited until after the lesson before he addressed the class: “It is okay if you want to listen to my music without me but I would appreciate you asking me first.” The class was silent, and Dan feared that he had been too mean. Slowly, Adam started raising his hand. “I have been listening to music, Mr Howell.” He sounded heartbroken.  
“Thank you for telling me. Don’t worry. Just ask the next time.” Dan said with a smile. “You worked really well today. Great job. See you later at drama club!”   
Lunch felt a little different that day. At first Dan thought that was because he voluntarily didn’t work but then he realised that of course, it was because yesterday he had eaten with Mr Lester. For the entirety of the lunch break Dan was busy trying to figure out if it was a good or a bad different.   
The lessons after lunch were stressful. It really wasn’t easy to include both Dickens and the play in one lesson. Everything was crammed but the children seemed to enjoy the fast pace. Dan was exhausted before drama had even started. There was obviously no way he wouldn’t turn up. He simply needed a bit more time to get as excited as he was usually. Apart from the general exhaustion, Dan’s head was also aching badly. This was the best sign that he was overthinking everything but how should he just stop in an instant? It turned out that as long as you were too exhausted you couldn’t even think too much. That was why Dan nodded at Mr Lester when he saw him, led the class nearly forgetting he was there and asked for his help when he needed it.   
With the last bell ringing a lot of pressure dropped off Dan. The day was over. He still had work to do but he no longer needed to speak to anyone. At least that was what he thought when he made his way to the library. He decided to get a bit of work done before tidying the books. At one time he could have sworn that he heard a noise. Dan got up and looked around uncertainly. He listened for a few moments and knew that he must have imagined the noise. He looked down on the work he still had to do and decided it was a good time to take a break.   
Dan walked to the shelves, looking onto the floor, already thinking of the places those books needed to go when someone suddenly said: “Hello.” Dan started screaming a long time before he realised he had. “I’m so sorry.” Mr Lester was standing in front of him.   
“You scared me.” Good one, Dan. No one would have known.   
“Sorry.” Mr Lester said again. “Do you maybe want some help putting these back?” Dan squinted. He had lost the ability to say if that was a weird or a kind offer. “I guess.” He said eventually. That was at least not rude from his side. “We have a librarian but her back is bad so a few books always stay on the floor.” Dan started talking. He seemed to generally prefer noise to silence when he was around Mr Lester. Even if that noise was him talking. “I usually help but I have never seen so many books on the floor.”   
“The weather wasn’t too good so maybe they spent more time here.” Mr Lester said quickly.   
“I didn’t even notice the weather. I spent too much time…” yeah, now what? Dan could hardly say: thinking about you!   
“…on the play.” Mr Lester completed for him.  
“Yes, the play.” He really should have been able to think of that himself.   
“I think the play is going to be amazing. The children did good work today. They seem to learn really fast.”   
“They do.” Dan agreed proudly. “They work together really well too. You wouldn’t guess that they all came from different grades, would you?” It occurred to Dan that he had lost his inhibitions, probably due to his tiredness. Was this dangerous?  
“They are amazing.” Mr Lester stopped for a while. “Listen, would you like to have some tea at my place?”   
“I’m fine, thanks. I’ve got a lot of work to do. I was actually just planning to go… after I put these books back in place.”   
“No, yeah, sure. I understand.”   
“Thank you for the help.” Dan said and placed the last book back into its place. He smiled a little and then went back to his place to pack his things. He really had no choice but to leave now. He walked past a few scattered books in different sections and reached Mr Lester before he had really moved.   
“Good night. See you tomorrow.” Dan said. If in doubt it was safest to be polite. Dan was most certainly in doubt. He had no idea what to think. He suspected another trap, didn’t want to suspect another trap and simply wanted to be alone, preferably without having to think, but that might be just a little too much to ask.


	14. December 14th - Thursday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get well through this day and embrace the weekend! See you tomorrow! <3

Phil’s POV

“I’m fine, thanks… I’m fine, thanks… I’m fine, thanks…” Even hours later Phil still heard Dan’s voice over and over in his head. Apparently, urging Dan to speak to him had not been bad enough, Phil had needed to go all the way and make him uneasy and decline the ridiculous offer of tea in Phil’s apartment. Phil was sad but he was most of all incredibly embarrassed. He would have loved to just burry his head in his hands for the entirety of the day. Sadly, that wasn’t an option, as Phil was a teacher and there were children depending on him. The idea that the children needed him finally made Phil get up and leave his apartment. He was nervous about meeting Dan again. He could already see himself being incredibly awkward. It was best if that wouldn’t happen. In order to prevent any encounter really, Phil went into the staff room, eyes fixed solely on the board. He studied it as quickly as possible and left again. That meant that he had quite some time in the classroom before lesson started but that was undoubtedly better than potentially meeting Dan. Phil sighed. He did want to meet Dan but he didn’t want it to be awkward. It was a shame that one thing would not go without the other.   
The day was all in all bearable. Phil tried very hard not to let his mood affect his way of teaching. The children didn’t seem to think anything wasn’t normal, so Phil considered that a success. Lunch was mainly uneventful. Phil at the far end of the cafeteria, leaving enough space for Dan to sit down where he chose. Dan was sitting at the opposite end which wasn’t necessarily a surprise but it still hurt a little. Dan was also sitting with his back towards Phil which meant that he could stare at him all he liked without Dan noticing.   
It was once again in the last three hours, that Phil started to worry again. He would have to meet Dan during drama or rather: Dan would have to meet Phil. Even if Phil himself wasn’t too keen on an awkward encounter, he also stayed away because he sensed that Dan didn’t want to meet at all. During drama they would not only have to meet they would also have to work together. Maybe working wasn’t too bad though because they would both have roles they could take over. Phil was not anxious because of meeting Dan. He was anxious because he didn’t know if Dan knew there was no reason to worry. As usual, Phil felt a pang when he thought about the necessity of telling Dan not to worry. Dan should never have to worry about anything!  
Phil made his way to the big hall. He was just about on time. He did that to put Dan’s mind further at ease. They would not have to speak outside of their work at all like this. Phil walked into the room. He immediately spotted Dan, and Dan looked at him. Phil was too far away to properly read Dan’s emotions but it seemed like Dan was surprised but in a way relieved even though there was quite possibly also tension. Phil sighed quietly and took his position next to the door, waiting to be told what to do.   
Dan started the drama club. Phil had noticed quite a few times now how Dan managed to make silence fall in a room just by starting to talk. That was one of the single most impressive things Phil had ever witnessed, he could not help his jaw from dropping every time.   
“Yesterday we worked on the first scene in quite some detail.” Dan said. “Today we are going to work on the next scenes. That means we have to be quicker. There is not a lot of time left. So, everyone that is in the second scene on your feet and over to the stage!” A dozen of children jumped up and ran towards the stage. “Okay. Everyone that is in the scene but doesn’t speak, go over to Mr Lester.” Phil immediately started walking towards the stage as well. He positioned himself at the opposite end to where Dan was standing.   
Throughout the whole class, Dan did not once address Phil directly. He always gave instructions to the children from which Phil had to riddle out what he was supposed to do. That wasn’t impossible but it was a lot more complicated than Dan telling Phil what to do would have been. Dan also avoided looking at Phil. Knowing that he was at least a bit of help, was the only thing that reconciled Phil slightly.   
“Great work everyone!” Phil once again heard himself to be excluded from the ‘everyone’. Against all odds, Phil hoped that he could exchange a few reflective words with Dan. They would be purely work-related, and they would show Dan that Phil had also been working and paying attention. However, when Phil had gathered enough courage and convinced himself that the conversation would not be too awkward, he had to realise that Dan had already left. Phil waited until all the children had left and were safely on their way home. It was good to feel a sense of responsibility but it was rubbish to know that Dan had left as well. There was no sound whatsoever coming from anywhere in the school. Phil got his bag out of the staff room and walked towards his apartment. He hadn’t gotten far when he turned around and went to Dan’s classroom instead. The atmosphere was exactly what he needed right then. He needed to feel calm and festive otherwise it would take donkey’s years for him to be able to concentrate.   
Phil switched the music on and the fairy lights before settling into the chair at the teacher’s desk. He smiled: Dan’s classroom really was Christmas in a nutshell. Phil opened his folders and started working. He must have started humming along to the music because he found that was what he was doing when he made a little break. He chuckled and leaned back. Suddenly, there was a noise. At least Phil thought there had been. He stood up and, the white boy he was, he slowly walked towards the door to investigate. Everyone was gone, he had thought? Who was there?  
Phil left the room and instantly collided with someone. Phil managed to supress the urge to scream. Dan was standing in front of him, looking bewildered. “What are you doing here?” Phil blurred out, he was breathing unevenly, as if he had just run for well, longer than two steps. “I’m so s…” he started but Dan interrupted him: “The question is: What are you doing here?” Dan sounded awfully suspicious.   
“I was working.” Phil answered honestly.  
“What did you do?” Dan’s eyes narrowed.   
“Nothing! It’s only that I really like the atmosphere in your room. It helps me to concentrate. In fact, I can’t really concentrate anywhere else.” Phil knew that Dan wasn’t listening to him. Dan was walking around the room, investigating. When he turned around again he looked still suspicious but now there was certainly fear as well. Phil felt really bad. He was desperately trying to construct sentences that got across how sorry he was. He never got around to saying any of the things he put together, because Dan walked towards him. He was trembling but that could very well be because he was boiling with rage. “I have never done anything to you! Leave me alone!” Dan left the room. Phil was flabbergasted and couldn’t move. He could not get his head around the fact that Dan thought he had done something. He would never do anything to hurt anyone but least of all anything to hurt Dan! Phil was deeply hurt that Dan could suspect him of doing something like that. At the same time, he didn’t know if he was more determined than ever or if he was close to giving up.   
Phil stood in the doorframe wondering for a few minutes before he knew that he had to leave if he didn’t want to make things even worse. He hurriedly packed his things, switched everything off that he had turned on and closed the door behind him. 

Dan’s POV

At the end of the day, Dan had not wanted to suspect Mr Lester of planning something. That changed however, when Dan saw him strictly ignoring his presence. Pretending not to see him was the most suspicious behaviour Dan could think of. From then on, from just before the first class, Dan took great care to avoid Mr Lester when possible. The school wasn’t too big so it wasn’t too easy but Dan managed just fine. The first difficulty presented itself as lunch. Dan was relived to have Patt on his side. Like this, he could wait outside the door and come in once Patt signalled that Phil was eating. Dan was relieved to see Phil very far away but in order to not spoil his appetite, he sat down with his back towards him. This extreme caution might well seem a little weird to some people but Dan was working hard for that little bit of comfort.   
“I think you’re very brave.” Patt said. Dan had noticed her staring at him but he hadn’t wanted to address it – Patt had just proven why.   
“Thank you.” If Dan would have told her that he didn’t feel brave in the least, a discussion would have started and he could very well do without.   
“There is not much time until drama.”  
“Is that supposed to calm me?” Dan laughed.  
“Oh. Sorry. I forgot. I only meant because you can work with the children and with your play.”   
“You’re right. Let’s focus on that.” The last bit was more for his own benefit than hers.   
“Yes.” Patt said enthusiastically, and they went back to eating.   
After lunch, Dan’s classes distracted him well enough to stop worrying for a while. Dan loved teaching. It was very rewarding to see someone take something you taught them to heart. The thing Dan liked best however, were the happy smiles on the children’s face when they learned something they found interesting or when a puzzle piece fell into the right place – clarifying a bigger picture. Smiles in general but those smiles in particular were what Dan taught and more often than not lived for. The only problem was that Dan had to fight an emotional response whenever he was aware of the special smiles which did happen in 99% of the cases. Today, he said: “I am really proud of your work today. You are an incredible clever bunch. I won’t be mistaken to say that there is a plethora of genii here.”   
“What does ‘plethora’ mean?” Josh asked while packing his things.   
“It means that something exists in abundance. You could also say there are a lot of genii in this class.”   
“Why don’t you say that then?” Dan would have known without the voice or the direction of the classroom, indeed only if he had seen the question written down, that it came from Toby.   
“Because I’m special.” Dan laughed. “We’re all special.” Toby seemed satisfied with that answer or maybe he was too busy talking about the weekend, possibly forgetting that there was still one more day to go – either way, he had stopped interrogating Dan.   
Dan waited patiently for everyone to leave the classroom. He didn’t even hurry to the big hall, but he was still - taking all things in account - the first to arrive. Slowly the children started to arrive and filled the hall with lively chatter. Dan smiled but inside he was trying to figure out if he wanted Mr Lester to arrive or if he would prefer to work on his own. He needed the help but was it worth it if Dan would be trembling all the time?  
His questions were answered when he spotted Mr Lester. The first thing Dan felt was relief. Not only did he need his help, it was also always best to keep an eye on potential danger.   
After Mr Lester, only a handful of children spilled into the room. Dan waited a few more seconds before starting to speak. “Yesterday we worked on the first scene in quite some detail. Today we are going to work on the next scenes. That means we have to be quicker. There is not a lot of time left. So, everyone that is in the second scene on your feet and over to the stage!” This was the point where Dan needed to somehow incorporate Mr Lester in the process. He was thinking of the easiest way to do that. They had not spoken before the class, obviously. “Okay. Everyone that is in the scene but doesn’t speak, go over to Mr Lester.” Dan was happy with this approach. Mr Lester did as he was told which lead to Dan keeping this method. There was not exactly much to do for Mr Lester but Dan was not too proud to admit the calming presence he was. With him around it was easier for the children to hang on in there.   
“Great work everyone!” Dan said, hoping that this was enough so that he would not have to thank Mr Lester in person. Dan was not keen on checking if it had been enough. In fact, he left as quickly as possible. The play did not need any more work at the moment but there were general things that needed to be done. Dan knew that his home would not exactly provide the sort of atmosphere he needed in order to work efficiently. He got his things out of the staff room and went to the library. Once he settled down in his usual place, Dan felt calmer than he had all day. The day was over, and he was still alive. He did not even feel like crying! By his current standards, this had been a good day.  
Dan worked through his little pile a lot faster than he had thought he would. He was nearly a little sad when he started packing things up. As long as he was totally engrossed in his work, he had something to do and no need to think. For the rest of the day he would have to work against thinking which was always quite exhausting.   
With all the things packed, Dan sighed and left the library. He switched the light off and closed the door. Dan walked towards the exit neither fast nor slow. He didn’t really want to leave only to feel alone but he also didn’t want to stay too long, afraid that he would somehow tempt fate.   
Dan was just about to turn around a corner when he heard music. His classroom was in the same direction. Had Dan forgotten to turn the music off? This was certainly a possibility as he was constantly lost in thought these days. Dan walked back from the exit, towards his classroom. He turned around a corner and saw that there was light on in his room. Music could potentially happen but the light was something else. It was already dark when the last lesson ended. Dan would see if he left the light on! His heart started beating faster instantly. He pressed himself against the wall, accidentally banging his bag against it in the process. He waited a few seconds but there was no noise. He exhaled and walked towards the door. No matter the reason, he needed to switch both stereo and light off. He had only made two steps when someone ran into him.   
“What are you doing here?” Mr Lester was standing in front of him after tumbling back a few steps. Once Dan got over the initial shock, anger replaced fear.   
“I’m so s…” Lester started but Dan did not want to listen to whatever he wanted to say. “The question is: What are you doing here?” Dan simply talked over him.   
“I was working.”   
“What did you do?” Dan asked. Needless to say, he did not believe Lester one second. At least he knew that working did not mean working in the ordinary sense. Lester had probably installed some sort of prank for him to find the next morning. Lester explained something but Dan was immune to nonsense. Instead of listening, Dan walked around the room looking for traces of the prank. The fact that he did not find anything did not calm him as it might have done for other people. For him it signified that Lester had taken great care to be undetectable. Instead of calming him, it terrified him.   
Dan turned around. He had lost control over his emotions but he couldn’t really care less. “I have never done anything to you! Leave me alone!” Dan shouted. He was relieved that his voice had not sounded too weak. He felt a little weak, but Lester was the last person he wanted that to know.   
Dan stormed out of his classroom. He did not stop running until he reached his car. He jumped inside, threw his bags onto the passenger seat and locked the car. It was only then in the complete silence of his car, that Dan realised that he was crying. He was also trembling. Both of which weren’t ideal states to be in when you had to drive a car. Dan, unsuccessfully, tried to calm down. When he was still sobbing he decided to call Patt. Just the act of calling her calmed him down a little. He started the engine and left the car park. He put the phone on loudspeaker and placed it in his lap. That was still not necessarily legal but it did not endanger him.   
“Hello.”   
“I’m on my way home.” Dan informed her. The slight tremble in his voice could well seem like difficulty in the connection for Patt.   
“Great. Are you sure you should be driving while talking though? You can hardly drive while breathing.” Patt’s kind laugh was what made Dan crumble. He started sobbing loudly and Patt had to work hard to calm him down.   
Dan arrived home eventually. He was no longer crying but started again when Patt said: “Don’t give in and let Lester win. You’re stronger than that.”  
“Thanks.” Dan said, voice hoarse.  
“Any time.”


	15. December 15th - Friday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you have already had and continue to have a lovely Saturday! <3 I promise I'll be earlier again tomorrow! Enjoy! <3 :)

Phil’s POV

All the previous setbacks seemed minor compared to what had happened the evening before. Phil had fallen asleep with great difficulty only to wake up ridiculously early in the morning. He was tired but there was no way he could go back to sleep. As soon as he had opened his eyes, his mind had started racing. Phil replayed the meeting endlessly. No matter how often he looked at the things he had done and said, and the things Dan had done in return, things did not become any clearer. At one point, Phil started laughing bitterly. He had just remembered how he had once speculated that Dan would not react as charitable to Phil listening to his music in his room. He had had no idea of the extent of Dan’s reaction obviously. Actually, it wasn’t only like Dan had been less charitable. His reaction had had nothing to do with kindness. Dan had looked angry and terrified. Phil’s mind immediately jumped back to what he had done. Phil knew that he had no claim on Dan’s kindness but his actions did not seem to justify the reaction he had received. Had Dan really not paid attention to anything Phil had been saying? Phil had known that he had been preoccupied inspecting the room but he had also hoped that some of his words had reached Dan.   
Thinking soon became too much for Phil. He got up and took a shower. He played music while doing that. Hoping that it could somehow prevent his thoughts from wandering off. It worked for a while until he started singing. Once Phil reached ‘We wish you a merry Christmas’, he stopped singing. He did not deserve a merry Christmas this year. At least it felt like there was no way he could have a merry Christmas judging by the way things were looking right now.   
Phil left the shower, feeling miserable as soon as the cold air hit him. Phil was in a funny mood, where every little thing had a big impact on his feelings. Showering and music had first improved his mood drastically only for it to plummet down at the very natural experience of cold air after stepping out of the shower.   
Phil got dressed and walked over to the kitchen to make himself a cup of tea. It was too early to have to rush so the seemingly slower caffeine in tea would do, he did not have to rely on coffee. Phil decided to have cereal with his tea – what a surprise – but to not listen to Christmas music. If he did, he would feel too good at first, then think he didn’t deserve to feel good which would in the end result in him being in a rather terrible mood. No, tea and cereal were all he allowed himself to have.   
The longer Phil spent thinking about the whole situation, the more hopeful he got. At first only the remembrance had been enough for him to sigh but now the determination was back. There must be a way that Phil could show Dan that he wanted to be … that he wanted to be his friend. Phil decided to try and speak to Dan when he saw him again.   
After a second cup of tea, it was an acceptable time for Phil to leave his apartment. The first thing he did in the staff room was another cup of tea. He needed something to busy himself with. Phil’s heart started beating faster whenever the door opened. Only when Patt walked in, did it continue beating fast for a while, with all the other colleagues it calmed down almost instantly. Phil nodded at Patt when she looked at him but she looked away, not reacting at all. After two more colleagues, the door opened, and it was in fact Dan that was entering the room. Phil saw that Patt was busy writing something down, she had not yet noticed Dan. Dan walked over to the board first to check if his timetable had changed in any way. Phil saw that was his chance. He stood up with slightly wobbly knees. The closer he got, the more tired he realised Dan looked. Had he also slept badly, like Phil?   
Phil stopped a couple of feet away from Dan, not wanting to intrude his comfort zone. “Morning.” He said. Dan jumped and spun around. Phil’s heart thumped sympathetically. “Do you maybe want a cup of tea?” Phil asked. He managed to swallow his nervousness and instead speak as friendly as he wanted to sound. Dan frowned at him, he looked maybe even more nervous than Phil felt. “No, thank you.”   
“Coffee?” Phil asked. He knew that he should have felt uncomfortable because of the way Dan was reacting but he couldn’t help wishing he could always be around him.   
“No. Excuse me.” Dan said and walked past Phil towards Patt. Phil was thankful that he was standing in front of the board. Like this, he had something to do. It looked as if he had wanted to look at the board in the first place. Smooth recovery. After checking the board, there was nothing left for Phil to do in the staff room. Also, his body reacted to the three cups of tea he had already had. Once again, pretty smooth.   
The first lesson wasn’t too eventful. Phil taught a bunch of nice kids and had a good time. The second class was a cover lesson for a colleague who had fallen sick. He had not yet taught any of the children even if some of them looked awfully familiar.   
“There are so many new faces in this school for me so excuse when I ask: Do I know any of you?”   
“I know you!” a small girl shouted. Phil looked at her and suddenly remembered that she was the younger sister of the boy that had talked to Dan in the first drama class. “I think I know you too but I can’t remember your name.” Phil said apologetically.   
“My name is Clementine.” She said proudly.   
“You’re in the drama club, aren’t you?”  
“Yes.” Clementine was still really proud. “Baxter is too.” Phil concluded that Baxter must be her brother, the boy who had talked to Dan. Phil continued talking to Clementine about Baxter and the drama club. The other children joined in soon enough. Phil talked to them all. Among others there were also a Jack and a Robin in the class. At that point Phil had long forgotten what class he was supposed to teach. He just went with the flow and asked: “Does anyone know what this phrase means: ‘This class was over before you can say Jack Robinson.’?”  
Jack said: “I didn’t do anything!” Robin added: “I didn’t do anything either!”   
“I never said you did.” Phil laughed. “Something is over before you can say Jack Robinson is a phrase. You might have heard a slightly changed one for instance in Harry Potter where Madame Hooch says: You’ll be expelled before you can say Quidditch.”   
“I know that one!”   
“Good. And what does it mean?” For the rest of the class Phil helped the children to riddle out the exact meaning. Before he could have closed the lesson in a formal manner, Clementine looked at him with big eyes and asked if he wanted to have lunch with them. Phil thought only for the fraction of a second before agreeing. Clementine smiled brightly, and a few other children cheered. When the bell rung, the children escorted Phil to the cafeteria and sat him down in the middle of a big table. Only the lunch Phil had had with Dan could possibly win against the comfort he was experiencing among the tiny humans around him.   
The lunch break was so great in fact that Phil was in a great mood for the next three hours. The funny things the other children said did not need to build up a great mood, they added to the mood he already had. Only when he stepped into the big hall, once again escorted by a bunch of children, did he sober up a little. Dan was avoiding to look at him. Hopefully that meant that they could still work together normally.   
“Okay everyone, settle down.” Dan said and glanced over to the cluster of children around Phil. Phil said: “Let’s listen to what Mr Howell wants us to do.” Phil blushed when the children did exactly as he told them to do, he didn’t want to make Dan feel less like a good teacher. The next time he checked, Dan was smiling. Phil really needed to stop to think that everyone’s mind worked the exact same way his did. 

Dan’s POV

Dan had not done much after ending the call to Patt. He had taken her advice and taken a shower. His face did feel less snotty afterwards, even if his nose and eyes were still bright red. Dan had something to eat and then practically collapsed into his bed. He was completely worn out. What was somehow worst, was the fact that he had thought what a good day he had had just before leaving the library.   
Dan woke up the next morning feeling better than he had hoped for but not the way he wanted to feel on December the 15th. He had some cereal and then left for school. Afraid to be back there but sick of his own four walls. The drive was a little rocky. Dan could not believe that he had actually managed to get home safe. It wasn’t too long a drive but it had been cold and dark, not to mention the state he had been in. Dan parked his car, took a couple of deep breaths and then made his way to the staff room. He walked inside, looking at no one. He still needed to compose himself so he turned to look at the board. His day had not changed.   
“Morning.” It was useless to pretend Dan didn’t know who that was. He heard Lester and immediately flinched and turned around. “Do you maybe want a cup of tea?” Lester sounded nearly cheerful, something that unsettled Dan. What had he planned now?  
“No, thank you.” Dan answered.   
“Coffee?”   
“No. Excuse me.” Dan needed to get away from him. He walked over to Patt. She seemed to notice him only then and immediately stopped working. “Morning.” Dan smiled weakly.  
“Morning.” Patt said. “Do you want a cup of tea?” Dan quickly glanced around. He saw that Lester was leaving so he nodded. “I’ll be right back.” Dan kept looking at the door, fearing that Lester might come back any second, seeing him accepting Patt’s but not his offer of tea. Dan did not know why he cared but he did not want to give Mr Lester any reason to be mad at him.   
“This is a weird December.” Dan said when Patt came back.   
“Why?”  
“It doesn’t really feel like were 10 days from Christmas, does it?” Dan asked, accepting the cup Patt held out to him.   
“No. But it hardly ever does for me now, ever since I started working.”  
“Really?”   
“Yeah. I only manage to really focus on Christmas when school stops. Don’t ask me why.”  
“I normally can’t stop focusing on Christmas the second December starts, sometimes earlier actually.”  
“There is a lot going on this year, I guess.”   
“There is.”   
“How is that play going?” Patt asked. Dan answered her but he did not say as much as he could have. He didn’t want to bore Patt. “I’m really looking forward to seeing it.” Patt said anyways.  
“Thank you. Pressure is on.”  
Dan split his lessons once again so that he was talking about Dickens in the first half and read through lines in the second. He always chose the scenes where most of the children actually had a part. But it didn’t really matter. It was a good reading exercise anyways. Dan realised how well he knew his play. He had written it, but due to constantly working with it, he knew it inside out. He knew who played in which scene and he accidentally also knew all the lines by heart. Dan was proud of his work but whenever he felt proudest, he couldn’t really imagine that he had concocted such a story. The idea was simple enough: One child went onto a journey to meet different children celebrating Christmas differently. Dan had taken great care not to offend anyone or over do stereotypes. He considered it a very respective and inclusive play. It was actually funny sometimes. It felt the weirdest to admit that. How could he think something was funny when he had created it? Surely that didn’t work. And yet there he was, laughing along with the children at what his characters had said. Maybe that was why he found it funny after all: His characters told the jokes, not him.   
At lunch Dan’s mood dropped a little once again. He was scared as soon as he left the safe sanctuary that was his classroom. When he walked into the cafeteria he immediately spotted Mr Lester. He was sitting at a table. Dan immediately recognised Clementine and saw that the other children were all her classmates. Dan pretend really hard that he did not feel jealous when he saw them together. He sat down next to Patt but his eyes wandered back to Mr Lester every now and then. Now, he managed to interpret the feeling as anger. Dan saw that Mr Lester behaved the same around the children that he always did around him. Dan wasn’t that much younger than Lester, surely. He also didn’t behave like a child! Why did he feel the need to treat him like a child then? Dan was foaming with anger but he didn’t say anything. He simply chewed harder than necessary which resulted in his jaw aching.   
Dan calmed down again when he taught the three lessons after lunch. The children respected him, and he felt mature. He was determined to keep that feeling for drama club. He would not let anything Lester did disturb him. He was incredibly determined. That was why he managed to bat his eyelid once but other than that show no reaction to Mr Lester walking into the room, surrounded by a similar group of children as he had been at lunch. Dan waited politely for them to calm down. After they hadn’t picked up on the hint, Dan said: “Okay everyone, settle down.” He wasn’t directly looking at them but Mr Lester seemed to understand.   
“Let’s listen to what Mr Howell wants us to do.” Dan smiled in spite of himself. Mr Lester had acknowledged his authority. Dan did not forget the offense from earlier but he managed to put it aside for the drama club.   
Drama club was a lot of fun that day. Dan subconsciously chose a lot of the scenes that had jokes in them. The atmosphere was great, and they managed to get quite some work done.   
Dan was just packing up his things when someone tucked at his sleeve. “I like Tom.” Dan looked down and saw Vincent. Tom was the German character in the play. Vincent wasn’t playing Tom. Dan smiled and said: “Thank you very much. Chris is great as well, I think.” Vincent was playing Chris, Tom’s younger brother.   
“Yes.” Vincent agreed. “Have a nice weekend.”  
“You too, Vincent.” Dan waved him goodbye.   
“Today was really good.” Lester said. Dan hadn’t seen him appear next to him. He was taken by surprise that his usual warning system didn’t work.   
“It was.” He answered. He must have forgotten who was in front of him. With Mr Lester smiling so brightly, that was surprisingly easy.   
“The characters really work for the children.”   
“Thank you.” It was the bizarre notion of thanking Mr Lester for something that made Dan snap back to reality. “I have to go now. Have a nice weekend.” Dan was aware that he was frowning when he said that but openly showing confusion wasn’t as bad as accepting an offer from Patt but not from him. Dan’s reasoning might have been dubious but it was what worked best.   
Dan went to the library. Weirdly, the thing that seemed the right thing to do seconds ago seemed incredibly rude. Dan’s head was aching. He couldn’t even remember clearly why he wasn’t supposed to trust that Mr Lester was genuine – a clear sign for migraine. Dan sighed and started working.


	16. December 16th - Saturday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy 3rd Advent! <3 Enjoy this chapter! I'll see you again tomorrow! :)

Phil’s POV

Drama club did turn out to be okay. Phil worked along side of Dan and they even spoke afterwards. Well they exchanged a few words before Dan fled as quickly as possible. That was more than nothing and it was a step into the right direction. Phil had accepted that Dan was wary about him and every little inching towards friendship was all he could hope for.   
Phil went to bed that evening feeling very fortunate that the next day was the weekend. After switching out the light in the kitchen, Phil thought to have seen another car than his in the carpark, but that might as well have been an optic illusion. Not thinking too much of it, Phil went to sleep.   
Phil woke up early for his standards, it was barely nine o’clock. He wobbled into the kitchen. He walked past the window and saw the second car again but his mind was too tired to do anything with the fact. It took the hot water vapour to fog his glasses for him to realise that there should not be a second car on a Saturday morning. Phil ran back to the window, saw nothing because of his foggy glasses, took them off, saw even less because of his terrible eyesight, wiped them with his shirt, saw a little because of the smears but enough to clearly see the second car. Phil cleaned his glasses once more and studied the car more clearly. The car was the same it had always been when Phil had met Dan somewhere in the school. Phil went back to the sink to take the teabag out of his cup. He added milk, stirred it and pondered over what he should do. Naturally, the thought of Dan in the school was very enticing but Phil needed to be very careful how he approached the situation. After thinking about the matter for quite a while, Phil decided what he had to do. He left his tea standing on the board and ran into his bedroom. He pulled a blanket from underneath a pile of clothes. He had concluded that Dan was either working still or asleep. He really hoped for asleep. Phil also knew that he did not have the nerves to go twice if Dan was indeed asleep. That was why he took the blanket. Armed with the blanket, Phil left his apartment with a fast beating heart. He walked towards the library. He gently opened the door and tiptoed towards the end of the first shelf. Sure enough, there was Dan sitting but actually more lying in a chair in the far corner of the room. Phil went over to him, breathing as little as possible. He reached Dan and stood there in awe for a couple of minutes probably. Dan looked so vulnerable asleep in that undoubtedly uncomfortable position. Phil’s heart was beating faster, but Phil wasn’t too sure if that was because of the general situation or because of how cute Dan looked, Phil really hoped for the first. Dan moved a little in his sleep and immediately shook Phil awake in the process. Phil hurriedly scribbled a few words onto a blank page in front of Dan, draped the blanket gently over him and left. He was completely aware that he made more noise going out of the library than he had when went into the library but he was not capable of changing that. Phil ran to his apartment and made a fresh cup of tea which he promptly forgot when he stressed out about what to wear. There wasn’t even any certainty that Dan would be coming. How was he stressing out about something so not likely to happen anyways? Even when Phil was still thinking those thoughts, he started getting out of his pyjamas, putting on trousers. He saw a reflection in the dark screen of his computer and stopped. Why would he be dressed that early in the morning? Dan might think that he had made a special effort which was only partly true. Phil got out of the trousers again and back into the pyjama bottoms. He looked down on his shirt and saw a huge stain. He had no idea where that was from but he knew that it needed to go. Phil raced to the sink and started rubbing water into the fabric. He groaned and stopped, already quite exhausted. That was when he realised that he could just as easy put on a new shirt. A lot easier actually. Phil run back into his room and nearly pulled his left ear off, forgetting that he was still wearing glasses. Phil hissed and carefully removed his glasses. He placed them somewhere, it wasn’t like he could see anything, and pulled the shirt off. He pulled a random shirt out of the pile and put it on. Now he had to look for his glasses again. He was unusually clumsy and stupid this morning, funny what one look at Dan sleeping could do to him.   
Phil went back to the kitchen and had to realise that his tea had reached an uncomfortable lukewarm state. Phil took a sip anyways spit it in the sink and nearly chocked when there was a knock on the door. Phil coughed and made his way over to the door. He waited a second to compose himself, it didn’t work, and opened the door. Dan was standing in front of the door; the sheet of paper Phil had written on in his hand. There was a tiny smile on his face and his hair was untidy, sticking up into the air.   
“Good morning.” Phil said. He was smiling but hopefully not too much to scare Dan away.  
“Good morning. Thank you for the blanket.” Dan said. He sounded impressively calm.   
“You’re welcome.” Phil gestured into his small place. “Do you want tea or coffee?”   
“Tea, please.” Dan answered and stepped into the apartment. Phil was nearly positive that Dan must have been able to hear his heart beating. Phil knew that he wasn’t able to hear much over the loud drumming.   
“How did you sleep?” Phil asked. He wanted to apologize immediately. They were no where near a state in their acquaintance where these sort of questions were appropriate.   
“Good, surprisingly.” Dan smiled and sat down on a chair. Phil turned the kettle back on once again and took two new cups out of the cupboard. They were the two Christmas mugs he had brought with him.   
“What kind of cereal do you want?” Phil asked and turned around.   
“Oh.”  
“I should have asked: Do you want cereal or anything else?”  
“No, cereal is fine. What do you have?” Dan asked.   
“Anything, basically. My brother made me stock everything up. He was disappointed with the two kinds I was providing.”   
“I’d like some Crunchy Nuts please, in that case.” Dan said.  
“Sure thing.” Phil said and filled two bowls. He carried them over to the table and went back to pour the hot water over the teabags. He put them on the table as well and got spoons and milk.   
“Thank you.” Dan said sincerely.  
“You’re welcome.” Phil answered just as sincerely. He really hoped there were no lasting damages connected to a ridiculously fast beating heart. Would his heart ever slow down? Phil looked up from his cereal and realised that it was pretty unlikely. How could he even attempt to calm down when Dan was sitting in front of him looking like that? Phil could have easily stared at him all through the day if that was in any way socially acceptable. Phil knew very well that it wasn’t so he quickly looked away. Dan rubbed his eyes sleepily which was a good excuse for Phil to look again. Dan frowned when he saw Phil looking which was a good cue for Phil to look away again.   
When they were done with their cereal they sat in silence, drinking their tea. Dan looked around the apartment. Phil had no idea what Dan was thinking about the apartment. His own place probably looked incredibly neat and tidy and beautiful. Also, Patt’s place was supposedly far more pretty than Phil’s was. Phil’s jaw dropped. Incredible how he had just managed to ruin his own mood with one thought. How could Phil have ever forgotten about Dan and Patt? The only reason Phil could think of in that moment was that the notion of them ever being friends was absurd enough for the thought of them together to be completely surreal. Phil supressed a sigh and looked at Dan only to have to supress a sigh again. Dan did look incredibly beautiful right in that moment. Phil wasn’t sure why it seemed to stand out for him so particularly when Dan always looked beautiful. Possibly because Dan was in his apartment. 

Dan’s POV

Waking up startled without knowing why was bad. Waking up startled and not knowing where you were was horrifying. Dan opened his eyes and sat up immediately when he didn’t recognize any of his surroundings. There were books. Dan did not have that many books at his place. Where was he? Dan’s mind was foggy. He needed to retrace his steps in order to deduct where he was. The last thing he remembered from the night before was that he had left the drama club to go to the library. Dan squinted and looked around. Yes, he was still in the library. Dan wanted to facepalm. It would only take him so long to realise he was in the library after already noticing the books around him. Dan had indeed wanted to facepalm. He never got around to it because he started screaming when his hands got entangled in a blanket that was lying over him. Dan knew it had taken him an embarrassing amount of time to realise where he was but there was no way he wouldn’t know whether he had put a blanket over him, or not. Dan looked around and spotted a note on a paper in front of him.   
Morning Dan, I’ve got breakfast at my place if you want. – Phil   
Dan looked around stupidly, checking if he could see Mr Lester anywhere. He stopped breathing and listened intently but there was still no trace of any living thing. And yet, the blanket and the piece of paper were proof that Mr Lester had actually been there. Dan’s heart started beating faster. He got his phone out and turned the front camera on. Just to make sure that his face wasn’t covered in beautiful drawings and that the breakfast invitation was not just to film him and humiliate him. There was nothing on Dan’s face. He looked tired and startled, not the look he was going for but certainly true. Dan put his phone away again and put all his other belongings into his bag alongside his phone. His heart had not yet calmed down again. He was still pondering on the breakfast. Should he go? Could he be sure this wasn’t a trap? Dan scolded himself immediately. Lester had not drawn on his face, had not tied his shoelaces together (Dan was embarrassed to admit that he had checked), had not stolen anything and had not woken him up to mess with him. Instead, he had left him be, given him a blanket and invited him for breakfast. About the same time that Dan had to admit that Lester had been rather nice, he also realised that he should probably stop calling him Lester, even if it was only in his mind. Lester had signed the note with Phil. If anything, that was an invitation to call him that, surely. Dan decided to accept the invitation but would he also accept Phil’s actual invitation to breakfast? Dan bit his lip and decided to wait for a sign. His stomach started rumbling, right on cue. Dan would accept both invitations then. The prospect made him incredibly nervous. His hands actually started trembling. To do something, Dan stood up and stretched. He was still a little shaky afterwards but he needed to get a move on now. He tore the note off the pad, shoved the pad into his backpack and walked towards the door. His footsteps were the only noise in the building. Something was deeply unsettling about that. He walked quicker to escape the situation but slowed down once he realised that he started panting ever so slightly, a most irritating noise.   
Once Dan stood in front of the door, he stopped completely. If he listened very closely, he was able to make out noise coming from inside the apartment. Dan raised his hand to knock and told himself to maintain his composure no matter what awaited him behind the door. Dan knocked tentatively, and had to force himself to stay and not run away. There was rustling behind the door before it opened. Dan couldn’t help a little smile when he saw Phil standing in front of him.   
“Good morning.” Phil smiled as well.   
“Good morning. Thank you for the blanket.” Dan was proud to be in full control of his body, well apart from the fast beating heart but other than that no one would have known just how nervous he was.   
“You’re welcome.” Phil stepped aside and waved Dan inside. “Do you want tea or coffee?”   
“Tea, please.” Dan walked inside. He saw that Phil was wearing pyjamas. He blushed a little and quickly looked anywhere than at Phil.   
“How did you sleep?” Phil closed the door. Dan nearly imagined he would feel trapped but he didn’t. He felt welcome.   
“Good, surprisingly.” Dan sat down while Phil started making tea. He placed two Christmas mugs onto the table in front of Dan. He couldn’t help smiling.  
“What kind of cereal do you want?” Phil turned around.   
“Oh.” Phil’s sudden turning had caught Dan by surprise.   
“I should have asked: Do you want cereal or anything else?”  
“No, cereal is fine. What do you have?” Dan said quickly, trying to gain back his composure.   
“Anything, basically. My brother made me stock everything up. He was disappointed with the two kinds I was providing.”   
“I’d like some Crunchy Nuts please, in that case.” Dan said, making a mental note that Phil had a brother. No, he didn’t know why, either. Better to be informed, probably.   
“Sure thing.” Phil said. He came to the table with two bowls filled with the golden flakes. He then got the tea, milk and spoons.  
“Thank you.” Dan said. He would have said more if he could have. He did not just want to thank Phil for the tea. He also wanted to thank him for the invitation in general and for making him feel so welcome. Maybe Phil was able to read all that in the two words. He better be, Dan would probably never be able to actually say them.   
“You’re welcome.” Phil answered. Dan continued eating. He was really hungry, thanks to accidentally skipping dinner the evening before. Cereal wouldn’t do in the long term but it was better than nothing. It was a good start at least. While munching on his breakfast, Dan wondered how late it was. He felt tired but that could have also been a result from a ridiculous sleeping posture. Dan rubbed his eyes and yawned. He looked over to Phil and saw that he was looking at him. Dan didn’t know what he had expected but this certainly surprised him. He frowned which immediately made Phil look away. Once again, he didn’t know what he had expected but this surprised him.  
Dan was not keen on another re- or simply action he didn’t anticipate so he looked around the apartment instead. There were a few knickknacks scattered around the areas he could see. There was a Tetris lamp he loved instantly, little figurines he didn’t recognize but liked anyways and of course the Christmas mugs. There were fairy lights, adding to the atmosphere and clothes that made the apartment seem alive.   
“It looks like you have been living here for quite a while.” Dan knew he wasn’t good at compliments at the best of times, but this was ridiculous.   
“Yes, sorry. It’s messy.” Phil grinned apologetically. It wasn’t really a surprise that Phil had not understood him.   
“No! Sorry. It’s cosy.” Dan said hastily.   
“Oh, thank you.” They were both silent for a while. “More tea?”  
“Yes, please.” Phil jumped up immediately. Dan stood up as well and carried the empty bowls into the sink.   
If Dan ever had a plan, it would surely have been to leave again after the second cup of tea. Actually, accepting the second cup could easily have been breaching the plan already. Staying for a third, fourth and fifth cup plus lunch certainly was. To be fair, Dan didn’t only linger. They also worked. There was only a week left before they had to be finished with the play, Dan could need Phil’s insights and opinions on what to do. When Dan did leave in the end, he left with a detailed plan on what to do.   
Phil accompanied Dan to his car, which made Dan blush but he could hide that with fumbling stupidly with his keys. “Maybe we’ll bump into each other tomorrow at the store.” Dan knew that Phil wanted to ease the tension of the awkward goodbye. Nevertheless, Dan answered: “Oh, I won’t need to go shopping.”   
“I understand.” Phil said and immediately backed off. “See you on Monday.”  
“Bye.” Dan said and got into his car as quickly as possible. What a day he had just had…


	17. December 17th - Sunday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a good start into this week! Only 8 days left until Christmas! <3 :)

Phil’s POV

There was something about Dan’s voice that kept things he said forever in Phil’s mind. To be fair, in this particular situation, it might as well have been the thing he had said and nothing about his voice. “Oh no, I won’t need to go shopping.” Phil sighed. It did not help to think that he had brought it on himself. How on earth could that ever help anyone? It was true though. The day had been perfectly fine, a lot better than Phil could have ever hoped for and then he went and ruined it all with suggesting they’d meet again. Dan had just started tolerating him as a colleague and there he was messing things up big time.   
Phil sighed and rolled onto his other side. Maybe sleep could make him forget about the stupid thing he had done. Sleep, however, wouldn’t come back. After tossing and turning for half an hour, Phil admitted defeat and got up. He made himself a cup of coffee. There was no way that tea would taste as good as it had yesterday, when Dan was no longer there. Phil was not keen to ruin tea forever for him, so he opted for coffee instead. Also, he could do with the caffeine. The coffee barely took three minutes to be ready, and yet, Phil managed to feel lost in the time he had to wait. Phil sat down. The warm cup of coffee in his hands comforted him slightly. He took a sip and leaned back. After a few breaths, he noticed that he was inexplicably uncomfortable. He looked around. Only the big light was on, maybe that was why. He got up, turned the fairy lights on and the big light off. The sense of comfort was instantaneous. Phil settled down again and finished his coffee. Slowly the room got lighter with the sun rising. It was still pretty gloomy so the fairy lights kept their charm.   
Phil didn’t feel like eating. Instead, he started tidying his apartment. It didn’t take too long, and the act in itself showed how bored Phil was. At one point he even got a broom and swept the floor. There were a few crumbs under the table but Phil hadn’t really spent enough time in the apartment to make a proper mess. There was barely any sand which was easy enough to explain: Phil practically never left the school building and therefore never really came into contact with dirt. Once Phil was happy with the state of his apartment, he made himself another cup of coffee and put on some music. He usually only realised that he could put on music when he was done with the chores. He whistled occasionally while folding shirts or pushing chairs back under the table but he only ever remembered proper music when he sat down, looking at his finished work.  
Phil pulled his computer over to him and switched it on. While he waited for his music to load, he looked around. He spotted a small piece of paper that had previously been hidden underneath the computer. He grabbed it and studied it. It was not a note for him. He hadn’t really expected a note, but there was always a slight possibility with a random piece of paper with words scribbled on. Phil immediately recognised the handwriting as Dan’s. A smile appeared on his lips. Phil gently ran over the words. It was something as futile as days of the week with a few first ideas of what they could do in that drama lesson but the fact that Dan had written them bestowed them with an irresistible charm. The writing was smudged ever so slightly. Phil’s smile intensified. Dan had cursed under his breath several times yesterday, when he had accidentally pulled his left hand through words he had just written. Dan was left-handed. This was a trivial piece of information but Phil cherished it.   
Phil continued studying the piece of paper, once again forgetting that he did not put any music on. There wasn’t much to look at on the piece of paper, mind you but there was also nothing more interesting in Phil’s apartment at that point so how should he have not stared at it indefinitely? Phil looked at each letter individually, comparing ‘a’s and ‘b’s, wondering how Dan’s ‘z’ would look like and generally forgetting the time.   
His bladder brought him back eventually. Phil stuffed the piece of paper in the pocket of his pyjama pockets, went to the loo, poured the cold coffee down the drain and made a new one. He noticed the lack of music, changed that with one click and looked around the apartment. He might have started working at that point if his phone hadn’t started ringing suddenly. Phil ran into his bedroom. He was happy to have something to do. That didn’t mean that he immediately answered the call. He went back into the kitchen first, grabbed his mug and sat down before doing anything.   
“Hello?”  
“My darling brother. This is your idol.” Martyn said.   
“Wow, this is such a great moment for me.” Phil’s tone did not change whatsoever.   
“Pleasure.”  
“Why are you calling me?” This might sound rude to untrained ears but Martyn had no problem hearing the unspoken: ‘ – not that I mind.’.  
“I just wanted to talk to my Bulb.”   
“Mum and dad really should have destroyed those videos.” Phil sighed. “Otherwise you wouldn’t even remember that I sometimes said ‘light’.” Blub was Martyn’s nickname for Phil, whenever he particularly felt like a big brother.   
“Sometimes? You didn’t say anything else for years!”   
“You can’t possibly remember that.”   
“Oh, I can, Bulb, I can.” Martyn laughed. “So, how are things with you? What has changed in the week where you had to do without my charming presence?”   
“Do you really want to know?”   
“Of course I do, Bulb.”   
“You might not enjoy it, though.”  
“I was completely aware of that when I called.” Martyn was mocking him which was a surprisingly and probably worryingly good feeling.   
“Do you remember Dan?”   
“Dan and his girlfriend Patt?” Phil winced.   
“The very same. Thing is, Dan spent yesterday with me, basically. He had fallen asleep in the library and I invited him over to have breakfast.”   
“Uuuhhh!”   
“Very helpful, thank you.”   
“Any time.”  
“We had cereal, tea and we worked a lot.” Phil hesitated but then added: “I really like him.”   
“I’m sure you do.”   
“But…”  
“But he has a girlfriend.”   
“No, I mean, yes, I mean I haven’t even thought about that.”  
“Evidently.”   
“I mean, I think, he doesn’t even want to be friends. He might accept me as a colleague now but only just about!”   
“Are you sure that’s true and you’re not missing out on something?” Martyn enquired.  
“He only really warms up when we talk about drama.”  
“Maybe that’s the topic he is most comfortable with. That doesn’t necessarily mean he can’t stand you outside of work.”   
“I think I’ll try and believe that.”   
“You should, Bulb.”   
“Thanks, Martyn.” Phil smiled. “How are things with you?” He didn’t want the little bit of comfort he had just built up to get destroyed when they continued talking about Dan.   
“Good. Thanks. I am just packing my bags to go hiking.”  
“Sorry, what?”  
“I’m going hiking.” Martyn repeated. He sounded like he wasn’t saying anything more exciting than that he was going to the supermarket later.  
“But we don’t do hiking.”   
“Doesn’t mean we can’t give it a shot.” Martyn laughed. “It’s not like I’m going to Scotland or anything. Mum thinks it’s too dangerous.”   
“That’s unlike her.”  
“I know!” Martyn said, matching Phil’s irony perfectly.   
“So, you’re off tomorrow?”   
“No, this afternoon.”   
“Won’t it be dark?”  
“Ah, I wish someone had invented something you only had to twist, and a light would appear. They might call it ‘torch’ after the Latin verb ‘torquere’, meaning just that: to twist.”  
“Oh, so your internet is back on?”   
“It is awfully interesting though, isn’t it?” Martyn asked excitedly. After speaking about the origin of words for a while, they went on to debating the dangers of Martyn’s adventure before stopping altogether because Martyn really needed to leave.  
“Stay safe.”  
“Will do, Bulb.”   
Phil reluctantly went to work after that call. He corrected homework and planned the week. He forced himself not to think of the possibility of this being his last week. What good would that do anyone? No good at all, it would actually be considerably bad for his pupils. Phil needed to get the work done but not think of anything. That way his mood could potentially stay fine. 

Dan’s POV

Dan had really hoped that the sense of loneliness would leave him again once he had had a good night’s sleep. In the morning he still didn’t feel particularly cheerful though. There was no way he could blame that on his sleep. It was undisputable that sleeping in a bed was better than sleeping on a library chair. And still, he didn’t feel better than he had the day before, in fact, he felt worse. Dan stood up and hoped he would just forget he had ever thought something like that.   
After breakfast, Dan had to realise that even if his sleep had been better, his breakfast had certainly been worse. The cereal tasted like nothing, and Dan didn’t even want to have tea after he had burned his tongue at the first attempt to take a sip. Normally, Dan would have been able to blame this on getting up on the wrong foot but once again, this had nothing to do with sleep, not even as remotely as that. Deep down, Dan knew what the reason for his behaviour was but he couldn’t make himself own up to it. As long as somehow possible, he would ignore the truth.   
Due to a lack of motivation, Dan started washing up all the dishes standing around. A couple of them were strictly speaking still clean as Dan had only forgotten to put them away again after the last washing up but he needed something that distracted him and dishes did the job. After washing everything, Dan did something he normally never did: He dried everything with a tea towel. He restarted the playlist of Christmas songs and got to work. He found that as long as he was singing along, he didn’t think about anything. It didn’t even matter if he sang the correct words, the correct notes or even the correct song. He simply needed to use his mouth in order to stop his thoughts.   
When the kitchen was as tidy and clean as it had probably ever been, Dan decided that he should attempt to do some work. Just as he had feared, Dan was not really able to get into the work. He kept thinking back to yesterday and how easy it had been to just start working and continue working without the need to stop himself from getting distracted all the time. Dan was incredibly frustrated. He could not stay focused for more than five minutes and even then, he had to check everything he had written multiple times because it didn’t make sense most of the time. He was on the verge of giving up altogether, nearly playing with the thought of calling Mr Stevens directly to hand in his notice – yes, he had nearly lost his mind, when his phone rang. Dan had never been as thankful to have Patt in his life. He grabbed the phone, only to see that his grandma and not Patt was calling him. He altered his previous statement slightly: He had seldom been so thankful to have his grandmother in his life.   
“Hiya grandma, how was church?” Dan asked cheerfully.   
“Daniel, dear. That’s very nice of you to ask. In fact, it’s why I have called.” Dan leaned back comfortably in his chair, ready to soak up all the gossip about people he didn’t know.   
“What happened?”  
“Everything was fine at first. It was a lovely service. Vicar Peters talked about awaiting Christmas. He used vaguely the same words as he did last year but that doesn’t mean they weren’t good.”  
“To be fair, it is the same story as well, isn’t it?” Dan laughed.  
“Cheeky monkey. But I suppose, you’re right. Anyways, the sermon was good, and the hymns were lovely as well. Jessica wasn’t there so the high notes didn’t sound quite as squeaky today.”   
“No one needs a dog whistle in December.” Dan agreed.   
“Quite right. Izzy said just the same when we were having tea afterwards. Where was I? Oh, yes. The sermon, service in general and music was nice but something has left me quite shaken! After drinking a nice cup of tea with Izzy and catching up with her, who do you think approached me?”  
“I have no idea.”  
“It was the new highly energetic member of the church council. Do you know what he said to me?”   
“Not a clue.” Dan said, fighting back laughter.  
“He asked me to come to the old people Christmas afternoon.”   
“He did not.”  
“Yes, he did!”   
“They probably don’t invite people by their mental age.” Dan suggested.  
“Daniel, are you saying I look old?”  
“No, grandma.” Dan chuckled. “I am saying that by terms of numbers you are considered an old person. If they were to invite people depending on their mental age you wouldn’t even be worthy of consideration.”   
“Oh. I understand.” His grandmother laughed. “There are going to be awfully old people there.”   
“Any of your friends?” She listed a few names. One of them rang a bell with Dan and he immediately started laughing. The woman in question was a couple of years younger than his grandmother. She didn’t want to go to an afternoon with ‘awfully old people’ not realising that she would actually be the oldest one there. “I think you should go.” Dan said when he had stopped laughing. “They didn’t mean to offend you. They want you to have a good time.”   
“I think I will go.”   
“Good. When is the afternoon?”  
“On Thursday.”   
“Good.”  
“Good?”  
“Yes, because I wanted to ask you if you wanted to come to my school on Friday to see a play your brilliant grandson has written.”   
“I didn’t know Adrian wrote plays.”  
“Very funny.”  
“I’d love to come.” She answered. “Are you sure you wouldn’t be embarrassed having your grandmother there?”  
“I can assure you that the opposite is much rather true.”   
“Well, in that case, I’d be honoured.” Dan told his grandmother all the details she needed to know, the time the play would start and the address of the school for instance. Afterwards, they talked a bit about Dan’s December and then stopped because friends were coming over any minute now – his grandmother’s friends, not Dan’s friends obviously. He wasn’t even sure that the word existed in plural for him.   
When the silence engulfed Dan completely, he had not restarted the playlist while on the phone with his grandma, Dan suddenly experienced the desire to tell Phil about the conversation. He shuddered once he realised that. This desire was not healthy and urgently needed to be supressed.   
Luckily, after that bit of human contact, Dan was able to concentrate again. He worked through everything and only at the very end revised the plan he had created with Phil’s help. Doing that before would have meant that he could have forgotten about the rest of his work. Even now he noticed himself slipping away, lost in thought. Dan pulled himself out of his thoughts with great difficulty, took a shower and watched a Christmas film. He made a point to react loudly to all the jokes, using the same technique as earlier. As long as he used his mouth, his thoughts weren’t able to develop.


	18. December 18th - Monday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One week till Christmas! <3 Have a lovely day you lovely people! <3 :)

Phil’s POV

Dan’s words from Saturday still played around in Phil’s mind but that didn’t stop him from getting really excited at the prospect of meeting him again soon. Even if Dan only ever wanted to be Phil’s colleague, that didn’t mean that Phil couldn’t get excited about meeting him.   
Phil hurried to the staff room without breakfast. He was just checking the board when Dan opened the door. Phil could not have purposefully placed himself better than this. He smiled brightly at Dan and said: “Good morning.”  
“Morning.” Dan even returned the smile but he walked past Phil. Phil tried to take it in his stride, but it wasn’t easy. The smile was really everything he should have hoped for. At least it wouldn’t have left him feeling quite as crushed.   
In the morning, that was all Phil saw of Dan. They taught in different parts of the building, yes, he had checked, so it didn’t hurt as much not to see him. Dan was not actively avoiding him. That he wasn’t seeking him out, should have been a fundamental truth. Phil was just trying to lower his expectations when someone gently tapped his shoulder. Phil turned around, not too happy to have this vital process interrupted. Dan was standing in front of him, Phil immediately started smiling.   
“Hey.”  
“Hey.”  
“I was wondering if you wanted to sit over there with Patt and me.” Patt and me… Phil agreed anyways. He didn’t seriously think he could ever say no to Dan, but not reacting to it had required conscious effort. Phil followed Dan to the table and sat down awkwardly.   
“Hello.” He said to Patt.  
“Hi.” She wasn’t exactly friendly but she did not necessarily made him feel unwelcome either.   
“What did you go for?” Dan asked.   
“Chicken and mashed potato.” Phil answered.  
“Same. But without the gravy.” Patt said and the conversation petered out. Dan attempted to start conversations every now and then but none of them really caught on. Dan also kept side-glancing at Patt. This unsettled Phil, so he started doing the same. He wasn’t sure what he was looking for. He only knew that he was anxious.   
When the bell finally rung, relief washed over Phil. He stood up and felt lost instantly. He smiled at Dan and left without saying anything. His feelings were terribly confusing. He couldn’t make sense of them. On the one hand he was truly happy to no longer have to sit there awkwardly but then he also immediately missed sitting there. He was thankful for Dan to invite him in the first place but he couldn’t say that. Not in front of Patt, possibly never.   
The classes in the afternoon all ran smoothly. The topics weren’t too difficult and the children were just as happy to get side-tracked as Phil. A tiny escort accompanied him to the big hall for the drama lesson. Dan smiled when he saw them, freeing Phil from the notion that he might be jealous.   
“There is only one week of school left.” Dan received a lot of cheers for that. “That also means that there is only one week left for us to rehearse the play. I know you’re going to be marvellous, but we’ll still have to work hard!” The children continued to cheer. Dan laughed and shook his head. Phil in turn was simply happy to see him so carefree. Dan wasn’t like normal people. He revelled in work. It was easy to see that he was the most comfortable when he had something to do.   
Phil didn’t think he was someone that revelled in work but he found himself once again immensely enjoying the drama club. Dan added a lot to his enjoyment, to be fair. It didn’t even feel like work but still, it was not entirely like Phil to be so happy after an hour of physical and mental exhaustion.   
Dan stayed in the hall, waving the children goodbye. With Dan staying, there was no way that Phil was going anywhere. He pushed chairs back into circles and closed one door. Only when there was nothing left to do, and Phil started looking weird, just hovering there, he walked a little closer to Dan and asked: “Would you maybe want to come for a cup of tea?” It was surely best to stay as hypothetical as possible.   
“I really shouldn’t.” Dan answered immediately. Okay, that hurt.   
“Why not?” Hypothetical and inquisitive didn’t rule each other out, did they?  
“I need to work.”  
“So do I.” Dan squirmed and Phil realised that he was being mean. No pain in the world justified meanness. “You don’t have to. I understand.” Phil said quietly and sighed.   
Dan looked up at him and studied his face. “I want to be home at six.” He said carefully. “I’ll drink as much tea as possible until then.”   
“Deal.” His relief was possibly just as visible as his pain had been. Who cared? Dan was coming to drink tea with him! They closed the big hall and walked in silence. Phil opened his door and walked in before Dan.   
“Do you want me to take my shoes off?”   
“If it makes you more comfortable.” Phil said and kicked his own off. Dan bent down and untied his before slipping out of them and placing them neatly next to each other. Phil tore his eyes away. This was a different kind of staring.   
“I don’t always do that.” Dan said when Phil was already putting the kettle on.   
“What don’t you always do?” Phil asked.  
“Getting out of my shoes like that. I know it’s weird.” He added.   
“No, it’s not.” Phil said quickly. “Only a little.” Dan laughed, and Phil’s heart tumbled. “Tea?”  
“That’s what I’m here for.” Phil decided for his own sake that Dan was joking.   
Phil prepared the tea quickly and placed the steaming cups in front of Dan. Before sitting down, Phil opened his computer and put on some Christmas music. He sat down and carefully took a sip of his tea. “I haven’t had tea in ages.” He declared accidentally.   
“You haven’t had tea since Saturday?” Dan asked amused.   
“No.” Phil said. A load was taken off his mind when Dan did not ask for an explanation.   
“This is good tea.” Dan said instead.   
“You have to thank Martyn for that.” Dan’s furrowed his brow. “My brother.”  
“Martyn is your brother?” Dan asked. Now Phil frowned but then he remembered that Dan had met Martyn on that first Sunday.   
“Yes, he is. He is hiking at the moment.” Phil said, primarily to say anything, really.   
“Outside?” Dan asked and gasped.   
“Can you believe it?” Phil laughed. 

Dan’s POV

Dan had never been particularly good with Mondays. They used to signify a start of a new week where he could not yet tell the extent of pain he would suffer. Nowadays they only signified the end of the weekend. New weeks no longer terrified Dan. He had found a way to deal with people that wished to see him broken. That didn’t mean that he didn’t experience the human feeling of sadness when the free days were over. Today, however, wasn’t a usual Monday.   
It started normally with waking up to an alarm clock after two days of silence. Then, however, it started to change. The first thing Dan thought was that he could tell Phil about the call with his grandmother today as he would see him in person. The thought upset him immediately, but it took a while to figure out why. When Dan remembered that he hadn’t yet spoken to Phil about the call because he didn’t want himself to want share, he groaned. It was so evident that he did indeed want to share. It was truly worrying that the wish had survived the night and reason had not.   
Dan got ready, disappointed that there were no dishes he could clean to distract himself. Only blasting Christmas music through his apartment did not have the same effect. When there was nothing left to do, Dan decided to drive to school. He’d surely go mad if he stayed alone in his apartment for any longer. Before Dan actually walked into the school, he talked himself into keeping his distance. That was the only way to train himself out of wanting to share everything with Phil. Who knew, maybe he wouldn’t even see him until drama.  
Dan opened the staff room’s door and was immediately greeted by Phil: “Good morning.”  
“Morning.” Dan smiled but hurried past him. He needed to keep his distance! If it wasn’t easy it meant that it was necessary. Dan repeated this statement over and over in his mind but it did not protect him from the seeping guilt. It was hardly Phil’s fault that Dan needed to update his boundaries.   
At lunch, Dan was deeply unhappy about his behaviour, so that he decided to invite Phil over to sit with him and Patt. He walked over to Phil and tapped his shoulder. Dan was confused at the sudden smile that appeared on Phil’s otherwise bored face.  
“Hey.” It wouldn’t get any more elaborate than that.  
“Hey.” Luckily, Phil seemed to be in with him on that one.   
“I was wondering if you wanted to sit over there with Patt and me.”   
“Sure.” Phil smiled. Dan nodded and walked over to Patt. Only when he pulled out his chair to sit down did he realise that he should have probably checked with Patt that this was okay. More importantly he should have told her that Phil being with them resulted from his initiative. Heaven knew what she would say!   
“Hello.” Phil said.   
“Hi.” Patt answered. Dan quickly checked that she wasn’t about to explode before asking: “What did you go for?”   
“Chicken and mashed potato.” Phil answered.  
“Same. But without the gravy.” Dan nodded eagerly but couldn’t keep the conversation alive. He tried again with talking about the drinks but that didn’t work either. What was there to say about water? In the end, they didn’t eat in total silence, thanks to Dan’s pathetic attempts. Looking back on the hour, when the bell rang, and Phil left with a smile, he wondered if silence would have been more agreeable for everyone.   
Dan did not see Phil again until he arrived in the big hall, surrounded by children. How should a sight like that not make Dan smile? Drama was stressful. The lesson seemed too short to get anything done. Still, Dan was pleasantly surprised at everything they got done.   
Dan was gathering his things. He was crucially aware of Phil’s presence but keeping a distance meant at the very least not to show that he was in fact aware. Dan didn’t need to look in order to know that Phil was restoring the order in the hall. He barely managed to do anything himself when he heard Phil.   
“Would you maybe want to come for a cup of tea?” Dan was embarrassingly proud that he hadn’t started screaming.  
“I really shouldn’t.” Distance meant refusal.   
“Why not?” Refusal was easy enough compared to explanation or the simple answering of questions.   
“I need to work.”   
“So do I.” He should have known that that wouldn’t work. A huge indication for the failure of that argument was that Dan didn’t even want it to work. “You don’t have to. I understand.” Phil sighed. Dan looked at him, not at all happy about that unnecessary tugging in his chest.  
“I want to be home at six. I’ll drink as much tea as possible until then.” You could consider this a compromise, surely.   
“Deal.” Dan didn’t think for too long about the tugging, nor the hammering in his chest. They supposedly meant nothing anyways.   
Dan followed Phil to his apartment. He walked inside after him and stood there uncertain. “Do you want me to take my shoes off?” he asked.  
“If it makes you more comfortable.” Phil kicked his shoes off. Dan was already bending down when he realised he could have very well just copied Phil. Too late now.   
When Dan stood up again, Phil was no longer standing in front of him. Dan felt the need to clarify. “I don’t always do that.”  
“What don’t you always do?” Phil asked.  
“Getting out of my shoes like that. I know it’s weird.”   
“No, it’s not.” Phil paused before adding: “Only a little.” Dan laughed, happy that the tension was gone. “Tea?”  
“That’s what I’m here for.” With the tension gone, Dan felt free to make jokes.   
“I haven’t had tea in ages.” Phil said after taking a tiny sip.   
“You haven’t had tea since Saturday?” Dan was happy that Phil understood that he was joking.   
“No.” Phil didn’t start laughing loudly, so Dan didn’t feel fit to do so either. “This is good tea.” he said instead.   
“You have to thank Martyn for that.” Dan’s head shot up. Why were they talking about that tall man in the supermarket? “My brother.”  
“Martyn is your brother?” Dan asked, relief washed over him.   
“Yes, he is. He is hiking at the moment.”   
“Outside?” Dan gasped. A second wave of relief washed over him when they started joking around again.   
“Can you believe it?” Phil laughed. This time, Dan joined in with the laughing. After the first cup of tea, Phil opened his folders and invited Dan to do the same with a smile. After the second cup Dan had to ask for directions to the toilet. When Phil stood up for their third cup Dan had recovered from the embarrassment and asked: “Don’t you think a teapot would be handy?”   
“A teapot?” Phil turned around and smirked.   
“Yes. That way you wouldn’t have to prepare each cup individually.”   
“That’s true.” Phil seemed to think. “But then the tea gets cold.”   
“You could invest in a tea hat.” Dan suggested. Phil started roaring with laughter. Dan frowned. “It’s not a ridiculous idea.” He defended himself.  
“I am so sorry. No, you’re right.”  
“Why are you laughing then?” Dan really didn’t want to be offended.  
“I’m not sure if it’s the right word.” Phil was holding his stomach.  
“What is?” Dan asked. Phil attempted to explain but he was laughing too hard. “Google tea hat.” He managed to say and pointed to his computer. He was wiping tears from his eyes. Dan was still frowning when he typed into the search bar. Instead of the gadget Dan had in mind a lot of ladies with fancy hats appeared on the screen. “Oh.” Dan said. Phil came over to him and laid a hand onto his shoulder. Dan blushed but he already felt the laughter bubbling up inside him.   
It took several minutes for them to calm down again. When they were able to speak, Phil said exhaustedly: “What you mean is a tea cosy.” They looked at each other and started laughing again. Everything hurt after that and Dan really hoped they were through with laughing. Then, however, Phil went over to the sink and practically collapsed again.   
“The tea is cold.” He pressed out between violent laughs. Dan couldn’t explain but this was the most hilarious thing he had heard in ages. Dan would have been incredibly embarrassed normally about the fact that he was gasping for air but so was Phil and it really wasn’t that important in the moment.   
“Everything hurts.” Phil plonked down on a chair.   
“Yes.” Dan agreed and stood up to make the tea.  
“You don’t have to.” Phil attempted to sit down but then slumped down again with a groan. Dan handed Phil his cup, and they went back to work. They did not exactly speak much but Dan didn’t mind. He was actually busy not trying to think that he could work better with Phil around than he could alone in the library.   
At one point, Phil suddenly shrieked. “Oh gosh! Please don’t be mad.”   
“What is it?” Dan asked alarmed.   
“It’s five to six.” Phil confessed. Dan blushed immediately and looked down. He had forgotten the time and now Phil felt bad. Great.  
“No worries. I had fun.” Phil grinned at him. Dan wondered if he looked the same when relief washed over him. He also wondered if he had said too much. All this wondering lead to Dan politely but firmly declining Phil’s offer to accompany him to the car. It was better to remember about keeping distance late than never.


	19. December 19th - Tuesday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! <3 Have a great day and enjoy the chapter! :)

Phil’s POV

Phil was in a bad mood on Tuesday. Not being allowed to accompany Dan to the car after their tremendous afternoon had been a crushing blow, but Phil had patched himself together again after that. No, this bad mood was not caused by Dan. It was actually caused by Phil’s phone. Today, ‘Tuesday, 19. December’ seemed to practically jump at him. Phil was sure that his phone was mocking the little time he’d still be around the children and Dan. Just because the bad mood had not been caused by Dan did not mean that it had nothing to do with him.   
Phil did want to escape his bad mood but pushing the thoughts aside was something he didn’t allow himself to do. Leaving was inevitable. A bad mood wasn’t. Phil got dressed and made some tea. He barely finished the tea when he felt like he had to flee the room. Dan’s voice was ever present in the apartment. It was haunting Phil and that didn’t exactly help improve his mood.   
Phil hurried to the staff room with the result that he was terribly early. He checked the board but that barely killed any time. A few more colleagues arrived, just standing around would seem weird. Phil sat down and created a very neat and tidy plan for the lesson. At least that was his plan, and that was what he was doing in the first five minutes. After that, he started doodling around, making the sheet look nice but not actually working on the lesson plan. Phil still considered it work. That was why he groaned audibly when someone sat down next to him: “Could you maybe sit somewhere…” Phil looked up and saw Dan. He smiled and instantly forgot what he was saying. “Good morning, Dan.”   
“Morning.” Dan furrowed his brow but smiled a little. He got a folder out of his bag and started working, forcing Phil to go back to work as well.   
“How did you sleep?” Phil asked after five minutes.  
“Good, thanks.” Was Phil mistaken or did everything feel less friendly than the day before?   
“Got home okay?”  
“Yeah.” No, he wasn’t. Dan wasn’t even looking up from his work!   
“Where is your first class?” Phil asked rhetorically. He had studied Dan’s timetable, he knew where Dan’s first class was. He knew where all of his classes were.   
“Classroom. I have to go now. I need to prepare stuff.” Dan snapped his folder shut and stood up.   
“See you at lunch?”  
“See you.” That was most certainly not what he had wanted to hear. Phil looked around embarrassedly but no one had heard them. Now he could fully concentrate on feeling rubbish, with embarrassment out of the way. Phil closed his folder as well and left the staff room. Now that he had seemingly messed things up with Dan, only the children could cheer him up. And they did, thankfully. They were little angles that enabled him to forget. Only at the end of each lesson did Phil have to supress a rush of sadness. He would not see all these love people again. He would no longer be part of their journey. He knew that he should be thankful that he had been part of the journey at all but that was a tough task.   
At lunch, Dan did not approach Phil. Phil tried very hard not to care too much but he ended up walking towards him anyways.   
“Hi.” Phil said. He smiled, determined not to give up.   
“Hi.” Dan answered. He wasn’t rude, he was simply perfectly indifferent.   
“What are you having?” Phil asked.  
“Pork, I think.” Dan answered. Phil nodded and waited. Maybe, he hoped, Dan would just invite him over again, saving him the trouble of asking. “What are you having?” Phil could hear that Dan didn’t want to ask that. He didn’t want to talk at all.   
“Chicken again. See you at drama.” Phil said and turned away. He could no longer stand seeing Dan uncomfortable, and more selfishly: he could no longer stand being treated like this.   
All Phil could hope for was that drama proved itself to be different once again. In the past, he had been able to count on drama to make a miserable day seem less so. This prospect occupied him to such an extent that he wasn’t even able to feel sad about not seeing the children again.   
Dan nodded at him when Phil walked into the big hall. Compared to yesterday, however, that was a setback and not, as it would have been in the early days, an improvement. Phil nodded back and quickly pretended to be busy helping the children around him.   
“Four days!” Dan said, and everyone fell silent. Phil nearly gasped. “There is no need to panic, though.” You might have thought about starting like that then, Phil said in his mind. He would never have confronted Dan like that with children around. Although, actually, it would be sufficient to say that he would never have confronted Dan like that. “Today, we will have the first run through, largely without scripts.” Phil was weirdly relieved to see that Dan had not changed the plan they had created on Saturday. It was a lot easier than usual to follow Dan’s instruction with already partly knowing what was going on. It made it seem like they were working together properly, even if that might not have been due to mutual effort.   
Phil studied Dan intently throughout the class. Towards the end, he noted, Dan started warming up again. Dan and Phil shared a few glances whenever a child had unintentionally said something funny. When the class was over, Phil was brooding on the complicated question if inviting Dan for tea was too soon, unwelcome, or plain wrong. Before he could come close to any kind of decision he suddenly heard Dan loudly speaking to a bunch of children: “I’m shattered. I’m going home immediately. I wouldn’t want Friday to repeat itself.” Phil hadn’t actually moved a lot in the first place but he still worried that it was visible how he stopped dead in his tracks.   
“What happened on Friday?” a child asked Dan, and Phil held his breath on top of not moving.   
“I fell asleep in the library. Can you believe that?” listening to Dan chuckle happily was too much. Phil started moving and breathing again. In order not to appear too obvious, Phil pushed a few chairs back into a circle before waving over at a group of children, not the group around Dan and saying: “Bye, guys. See you tomorrow.”   
Once he was out of the big hall, however, Phil didn’t care about being obvious. He raced down the corridors and slammed the door to his apartment shut. He immediately regretted the last part, but he couldn’t undo it.   
Phil put his bag down and slumped down on a chair. In a way he should probably be thankful that Dan had given him a hint and not told him directly, face-to-face. It was hard being thankful though when the message he received was so cruel.   
Once seated on a chair, Phil’s energy left him completely. It didn’t come back for the entirety of the evening. It was a weird sensation to feel nothing but sadness and loneliness from 5 pm onward. It was a sensation Phil didn’t want to get used to, if in any way possible. 

Dan’s POV

On Tuesday morning, Dan still experienced the desire to share every little thing he could think of with Phil. It was incredibly difficult to remember the afternoon they had had and to simultaneously have to tell himself to keep his distance. Doing both seemed impossible at times but Dan hardly had a choice. Not admitting the nice time he had had with Phil felt like betrayal but forgetting himself and therefore neglecting the distance was dangerous.   
In his car, in front of the school, Dan took a few moments to completely focus. Preparation was key after all. Dan was nervous about the task he had set himself but he was also determined to see it through. Dan wasn’t only nervous though. He was also buzzing with anticipation about seeing Phil again. He hadn’t had as much fun in ages. Admitting that felt like a minor betrayal of Patt and his friendship. They always had a lot of fun but the kind of fun he had had with Phil had been unsuspected and maybe even greater because of that.   
Dan walked into the staff room and saw Phil hunched over a piece of paper. Dan smiled. He was a little embarrassed to admit that he had never even thought that it was a possibility to see Phil working. He had never thought it was until working with him on Saturday and Monday. But on both of those occasions, they had been in a secluded room. So, seeing Phil out in the ‘wild’ working felt surprising which in turn made Dan feel embarrassed. Dan walked over to Phil with slightly wobbly knees. He sat down and was just beginning to greet Phil when Phil groaned and said: “Could you maybe sit somewhere…” Dan’s jaw dropped. It didn’t even matter that Phil didn’t finish the sentence. Phil looked up and recognised Dan. His mimic changed as well: He started smiling. “Good morning, Dan.”   
“Morning.” Dan managed to hide his suspicion in his tone but he feared that his face was more of an open book. Now that he had sat down, however, he would not give in and leave again. Instead, he got his planner out and started working. Phil continued working alongside him. “How did you sleep?” Phil asked, pulling Dan out of his concentration.  
“Good, thanks.” Dan did not look up, not wanting to lose touch completely.  
“Got home okay?”  
“Yeah.” Dan finished the sentence, sensing that he would not get back as long as he stayed here.   
“Where is your first class?” Phil could not have asked a better question to help Dan out.   
“Classroom. I have to go now. I need to prepare stuff.” Dan packed his things and got up.  
“See you at lunch?”  
“See you.” Dan answered. Not agreeing to anything was the safest option. Trust Dan to always pick the safest option.   
Dan did go to his classroom after leaving the staff room. Where else should he have gone to? His classroom was the epitome of comfort and with the aid of Christmas music concentration should come back fairly quickly. Dan obviously didn’t forget about the fairy lights. In fact, he didn’t bother about the big light, he stuck to the small ones. Even when the children flooded in a couple of minutes later, Dan didn’t switch on the big lights. The small ones were sufficient, and the sun started rising fairly soon anyways. Before the class started, doubt slowly crept in on Dan. He was wondering if he had done the right thing after all. Only remembering the quick switch of Phil’s mimic told him that he was right. There was something wrong about someone that suddenly changed so entirely, and that only because of seeing Dan.  
Thinking that he was undoubtedly right helped Dan to calmly start his classes and not let personal problems affect his teaching. Even if it sometimes took more work, Dan was still very proud of that ability.   
“What did you wish for Christmas?” Fiona asked. Dan felt a sudden rush of sympathy towards her as Phil had fooled them both.   
“Me, personally?” Dan asked.   
“Yes. I wished for being less clumsy.” Fiona proudly showed Dan her wrists.  
“Oh, I could do with a bit of that myself.” Dan laughed.   
“Are you clumsy?”   
“Have you never seen me trip?” Fiona shook her head. “That might as well be because I am such an excellent actor that you would never know if I tripped.” She shook her head but started laughing as soon as Dan smiled.   
The lesson was over soon after that. Dan was hungry and looking forward to lunch but as soon as he thought about yesterday, his joy and appetite immediately left him. He braced himself, just as he had done a few days back, and walked into the cafeteria. While he was looking around for Patt, Dan thought to himself how right he was to increase the distance when only a few days back things had been so incredibly different.   
Dan joined the queue and waited patiently. Out of the corner of his eye he saw someone approaching. It took him approximately two seconds to figure out that Phil was walking towards him.   
“Hi.” Phil said once he reached him.   
“Hi.” Dan could not quite match Phil’s cheerful tone. It would not have felt honest.   
“What are you having?” Phil asked.  
“Pork, I think.” Not answering direct questions would have been ridiculous. Only a few moments later did Dan realise that Phil seemed to be waiting for a question himself. Dan complied: “What are you having?”   
“Chicken again.” Phil said and miraculously he added: “See you at drama.” Phil left, and Dan was alone again, happily so.   
Classes in the afternoon weren’t too challenging. Dan had a lot of fun actually, working hard to enjoy himself more than he had the afternoon before. Phil didn’t deserve the claim on making Dan laugh hardest.   
At drama club, Dan realised how much easier it was to keep his distance to Phil when Phil wasn’t actually around. It started alright with a simple nod, they were leading the class together after all. But the more time passed and the more jokes the children accidentally told, the harder it was not to look at Phil as the only person that understood the involuntary joke as well. Dan accidentally held one of those glances where they shared a secret joke for a little too long. They were at opposite ends of the room, and yet Dan felt like he was losing himself in Phil’s eyes. This was the contrary of keeping his distance and Dan started worrying. That was why, when he had finished the class, he told his pupils: “I’m shattered. I’m going home immediately. I wouldn’t want Friday to repeat itself.” Dan couldn’t see Phil from where he was standing. He didn’t actually want him to hear. He simply hoped that the children would ‘accidentally’ carry the message over to Phil. Dan basically didn’t want Phil looking for him.   
“What happened on Friday?” Oh, Dan had not anticipated questions. And he called himself a good teacher…   
“I fell asleep in the library. Can you believe that?” Dan laughed for the benefit of the children but also to deal better with the pain that the memory inflicted on him  
“Bye, guys. See you tomorrow.” Phil said suddenly. Dan turned towards him just in time to see him leaving the hall. He wouldn’t even have needed to start the message with telling the children when Phil was leaving anyways. Well, it was always better to be safe than sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise that things are going to improve! <3 See you tomorrow! :)


	20. December 20th - Wednesday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy you amazing people! I love you all a lot! <3

Phil’s POV

Was there a way that Phil could have felt anything other than sad and lonely after such a disastrous day? The message had settled completely when Phil woke up in the morning. That did not mean he remembered it instantly. No, he had to remind himself, causing predictable pain.   
Staying in his apartment alone felt like torture, but the staff room would not have been better, worse presumably, so Phil did not really have a choice. He stayed in his apartment until it was acceptable for him to already be in the classroom. He obviously had to wait for the children to arrive but he managed to use that time efficiently: He worked on being cheerful. That way, when the children arrived, he managed a weak but genuine smile. The children did not seem to notice anything odd about him, so he considered his work a success.   
On his way to the second class, Phil practically ran into Dan. This time they didn’t collide, though. Phil forced a smile onto his smile but also forced himself to keep walking and not speak to Dan. He honestly didn’t know what was trickier. It hurt to smile, but Phil’s insides turned when he walked past Dan without as much as a hello. Dan didn’t seem to mind. He acknowledged the smile but that was it. Phil was as happy as he could be that they were finally on common ground.   
At lunch, Phil did not bother thinking about approaching Dan. Things could calm down surely if Phil kept away. That way they could become proper colleagues at least. Phil laughed bitterly. Yeah, proper colleagues, when all he had was two more days at the school.   
On his way to the next class, Phil ran into Mr Stevens. Phil was in a hurry and so, it seemed, was Mr Stevens. “Ms Reagnet takes over your last class today as a treat for taking over hers.”  
“Ms Reagnet?” Phil asked, remembered Patt’s last name and quickly added: “Yes, sure. Thank you. That’s nice.”   
“Have a good day.” Mr Stevens did not seem faced by Phil not knowing his colleagues’ names. Phil was relieved. After all, he was still eager to make a good impression on him. Even if he didn’t really know what for. He would surely not sack him on his penultimate day.   
The two classes Phil only had whizzed past incredibly quickly. It felt like his head was spinning at the end of it. He sat down on the teacher’s chair at first. There was no class he needed to be at so he could take his time and relax a little. With the noise from the children gone, Phil suddenly heard a tiny buzzing noise. He looked through the rows at first before realising that the sound was coming from his own bag. Phil tore it open and answered the incoming call, hoping for the person on the other end that this was no advertisement.  
“Phil?”  
“Mum?”  
“Yes. Sorry to call you during school hours.”   
“I’m practically done for the day.”  
“Oh, really?” his mum sounded relieved.  
“What is it? Has something happened to you?”  
“No, not me. Martyn has had a bit of an accident. He tumbled down the hill, and his leg might be broken.” Phil rubbed his temple. Only his mother would classify something like that as ‘a bit of an accident’. That was a paradox Phil had always racked his brain over. How could she be so calm about accidents when she spent most of her time fretting about them? Maybe it was because of that actually. She had already seen all the possible outcomes in her mind. That way they didn’t shock her, they told her exactly what to do.   
“Is he alright?” Phil asked, aware that he had been silent for quite a long time, considering that this was an emergency.  
“Yes. Well, he’s not great.”  
“Do you want me to come over?”   
“Would you do that?”   
“Yes. I assume you’re in a hospital near-by?” Phil asked. Otherwise his mother would have called him when everything was done and dusted, with Martyn’s leg already in a splint.   
“Yes. Could you do us the great favour and bring something to eat and drink as well? Martyn has called me right away from preparing lunch.”  
“How dare he.” Phil mumbled while throwing his things into his bag. “I’ll be right there if you text me the postcode.”   
“Consider it done.” Weird phrase, that, but Phil really didn’t have time to get waylaid by that.   
“See you in a bit!”  
“Thanks, darling.”   
Phil hung up and stood up. He pushed his phone into the back pocket of his trousers and raced through the empty corridors. Everything was running smoothly (including himself). He didn’t fall down any stairs and managed to exchange his bag for keys and wallet in one swift move. However, when he was running through the library corridor a second time, Phil nearly ran down a small girl. He jumped aside in the last moment, amazed that he didn’t fall over. Even if he did not touch the girl, she suddenly collapsed. Phil pushed wallet and keys into his back pocket and scooped the girl up.  
“Hey, are you alright? What’s your name?” The girl was whimpering and fiercely shaking her head. “Emma.” She whispered. “Hello, Emma. Are you hurt?” she nodded. “Can you walk?” She shook her head again. “Can you sit?” she shrugged. Phil smiled and gently sat her down in front of the library door. He studied the sign quickly and read the librarian’s name. It was a disgrace that he hadn’t bothered finding out so far. Not the point right now! “Maddy is very close if you need help. I’ll be right back.” Phil smiled again and raced to the staff room. “Hey, sorry everyone. Anyone know a girl called Emma? She seems to be in great pain. I have an emergency in my family so I’d appreciate someone calling her parents immediately.”  
“Will do!” Helen said and jumped up. Phil smiled at the crafts teacher. He did not really remember her being a crafts teacher but the paint on her cheek kind of gave it away.   
“Thank you. She’s at the library.” Phil said and ran back to Emma. His heart sank when he didn’t see her where he had left her. He opened the door and saw Emma crawling towards Dan. Phil’s heart started beating faster. He walked over to them to explain the situation. Before he got around to explaining anything, Phil heard Dan ask: “What did Mr Lester do?” Phil’s heart didn’t only sink, he plummeted down.   
“Mr Lester didn’t do anything.” Phil said. He surprised himself with the total lack of emotion in his voice. “Please take care of her.” There was nothing more Phil was able to say so he just walked out of the library. He closed the door and then started running again. He had no clue why but he wanted to safe a shred of dignity in front of Dan. Not that he cared, by the sounds of it.   
Phil jumped into the car and drove off. He managed not to damage any other cars and was on the road faster than he’d thought himself capable of. When he pulled into a parking space at the supermarket to buy a few goods for his family, he realised that he probably should have told Dan that he would not be there at drama club. Phil was stressing out until he told himself that there was nothing he could do about the situation. He needed to get to the hospital and he did not have Dan’s number. He was unable to contact Dan. This thought depressed but also calmed him, and he was able to move on.   
Phil considered himself very serendipitous when he arrived in front of the hospital. Maybe the universe wanted to pay him back for all the crap he had to suffer. Either way: there was a free parking space in both meanings of the word. Phil was able to park, and he did not have to pay. Phil got the treats out of his car and walked towards the entrance. A couple of friendly nurses helped Phil find his way through the maze.  
“Wow. That was quick.” His mother said and embraced him.   
“How are you, Martyn?”  
“Miserable, thanks Bulb.” Martyn said and made a thumb-up with a grimace.   
“I bought you a chocolate orange.”   
“Ah, it feels like Christmas.” Phil did not listen to Martyn’s sardonic tone. He had all the right to speak like that if anything. He was in great pain, and as of now did not receive any treatment.   
“Some water, bread, apples, Tangtastics and more chocolate.” Phil said and handed his mother the bag.  
“Thank you, darling.”   
“Thanks.” Martyn muttered and took a sip from the water. His mother reported everything that had happened to Phil in a hushed voice. Martyn had simply fallen, but the journey to the hospital had been rather difficult. He had to basically crawl all the way to the next street. He was only in the middle of the field with a street running right next to it but it was still a hard task in the cold and wet. The paramedic that collected him, carried him into the ambulance and put one of those gold blankets over him. Martyn was warm again now but his mood wasn’t the best.  
“Can I get you a tea?” Phil said after listening to his mother’s reports.  
“Coffee, please.” Martyn smiled crookedly. Until Martyn got treated, Phil kept running around, providing food and drink for his brother and mother. He was completely exhausted afterwards but it felt like he was helping and that was reward enough. Martyn’s leg was indeed broken, and he would normally have been to leave the hospital again with a cast that same afternoon but the doctor decided to keep him for the night or longer just to make sure that nothing bad had come from the conditions under which Martyn had broken his leg. Phil’s mother decided to stay with Martyn. Only Phil left again but promised to come back the next morning with a new set of clothes for the pair of them.   
“We’re in luck that your father is on that beer trip with Steve.” Phil was embarrassed to admit that he hadn’t really thought about his father. “He would have freaked out.”   
Phil hugged Martyn and his mum goodbye and got into the car. He was tired. The only good thing about the situation was that he did not have to think about anything and if he happened to think about something, his thoughts were kind enough to trail around Martyn and not a different person.   
Phil honestly thought that he would be able to not think about Dan for the entirety of the evening. That changed drastically however, when Phil saw Dan curled up in front of his door. Phil had to rub his eyes but Dan was actually there. Phil’s exhaustion and tiredness left him immediately. Whatever it was, Dan needed his help. 

Dan’s POV

The evening had not been enough for Dan to figure things out completely. He was not sure what to think of anything Phil had done in the past days. All he knew was that nothing seemed to fit together. That was why, all in all, Dan should have been grateful that Phil took it upon him not to speak to Dan. Problem was that this only seemed to infuriate Dan further. Dan first saw Phil after the first class. That was incredibly late, judging by their normal standards. Even more irritating however, was the fact that even if they nearly literally ran into each other, Phil smiled but didn’t say anything. Dan would surely not be the one to initiate a conversation but he would have probably replied. Truth was that Dan did know for sure what bothered him. He also didn’t know what he would have preferred. This new behaviour of Phil’s added to Dan’s confusion. Maybe that was what made him mad. There he was trying to figure things out, only for Phil to take complication to the next level.   
Dan was pretty sure that he didn’t want to speak to Phil. Yet, when Phil didn’t approach him at lunch, Dan suddenly got very angry. At first, he was disappointed but in the blink of an eye that changed to anger.   
“I’ve got good news for you.” Patt said while Dan was biting on his lip, not wanting to let the anger spill over. At Patt’s words, Dan couldn’t help thinking off Phil immediately.  
“Good news?” Dan asked neutrally but the slight coughing fit probably gave him away.   
“Indeed.”  
“Come on, spill the beans.”  
“Funny.” Patt said and pointed at her bean salat. Dan smiled courtly and looked at her expectantly. “Alright. I have told Roger that I will take over your class today afternoon.”   
“Why?” Dan couldn’t help being suspicious.  
“Because you took mine when I went to Germany? Also, I ordered too many gingerbread houses so I needed more children.”  
“Children labour.”  
“You’re welcome.” Patt rolled her eyes.  
“What am I supposed to do though, while you rob me off my work?”   
“You are not allowed to help if that’s what you’re asking?”   
“Why not?”  
“Because you need a break, that’s why.”  
“There is the Christmas holiday.”  
“Yeah, but that doesn’t start until Friday. Does it? And today is Wednesday. You need to learn to take things slower. So, I won’t allow you to help. You can go into the library and unwind or something.”   
“I think I’ll do that. I have tests to look through.” Dan realised that this wasn’t exactly what Patt had had in mind but he ignored her groan and started eating.   
After lunch, Dan felt like he was racing through the lessons. There were only two of them so it was understandable that he was surprised to be left alone in his room while his pupils went to the next class. Dan leaned back in his chair but then jumped up again. He had an agenda: He needed to relax. Dan grabbed his things and hurried into the library. He always loved to spent time there so this hour would be over even quicker than the previous two had been.   
It felt like Dan had only ever just settled into a comfortable and efficient working position, when the door to the library opened. This tended to happen every now and then but it confused Dan when he did not hear the usual scurrying of foot and pulling books. He looked up and saw a small girl crawling on the floor.  
“Emma?” Dan asked. He wasn’t whispering. Maddy wasn’t there so he did not need to worry too much about library etiquette. Emma whined in response. Dan pushed his chair back but waited for Emma to arrive at his place. He didn’t want to upset her any further. Heaven new what might trigger a worse sobbing attack. Emma had just reached him when the door flew open and Phil stood there looking stern. He could have been distressed and concerned but stern was the first thing that jumped into mind so Dan went with that.  
“What did Mr Lester do?” Dan asked Emma. He would not judge her for being afraid of Phil.   
“Mr Lester didn’t do anything.” Phil said. Dan tried his best to hide the jump. He had not realised that Phil had been close enough to hear him. For Emma’s sake, Dan supressed the trembles that shot through him as good as possible. Before Dan could even think of an answer Phil said: “Please take care of her.”, and left the library.   
“Everything is going to be okay.” Dan really hoped it would be. He was mildly irritated to be left alone with Emma, especially so, since he had wanted to use this free period to get some work done – Patt’s order basically. Now he would need to calm Emma and take care that her parents were called and all sorts of things. Emma was not giving much noise from her but Dan saw that she was trembling. He had discarded the thought that Phil might have caused this state so he gently asked: “Are you cold?” Emma nodded. Dan smiled sympathetically and pulled Emma onto his lap. Comforting her right in this moment seemed a great deal more important than running after her parents did. She could end up being terribly distressed if Dan left all of a sudden.   
After a while, the silence started to distress Dan. In order to do anything, he started talking Emma through the tests he was correcting. Emma listened. She might not have understood everything, Dan knew he wasn’t making a lot of sense, but the general noise seemed to soothe her. Dan was just trough the first page when the door flew open again.   
“Phil?” Dan asked immediately. He had asked that before looking up and he was terribly embarrassed when he saw Helen and another woman standing in the door. They luckily didn’t seem to have heard him though. Helen pointed over at Dan, and they approached him.   
“My dear Emma angel.” The woman said. She must be Emma’s mother. How had she known where to find them? How had she known that she needed to find them?  
“I’m not sure if she’s hurt. She might just be tired. I am tired.” Dan babbled.  
“Thank you.” Emma’s mother smiled. She held out her hand for Emma. Emma jumped off Dan’s lap and snuggled into her mother’s side. “Thank you.” She whispered.  
“Get well soon.” Dan said. He nodded goodbye to Helen and Emma’s mother and took a deep breath once he was alone again. He was still irritated by Phil’s behaviour. He might not have caused Emma’s distress but he had still vanished without contributing anything.  
At the end of the free period, Dan had not done quite as much as he would have hoped for. The actual distraction through Emma seemed less to be the reason for that than Dan once again thinking about Phil. He decided to confront Phil after drama club. That sort of behaviour was not acceptable. With this plan in mind, Dan felt like a burden was lifted off him. He was not helpless, he had a way to deal with it.   
It was a wonder really that Dan managed to get through with the drama club. He had been very energetic on his way to the big hall and he had patiently waited for Phil to arrive so that they could start together. He was mad at him but he was not holding a grudge. This was the precise reason why Dan was furious at the end of drama club. Phil had not turned up. That was one time too many that he had upset Dan that day. Dan held his anger in as long as he was around children but as soon as they were all gone, Dan needed to let go off the boiling sensation inside of him. He stomped around the big hall, determined to leave it in an immaculate way. He then stormed to his car and drove home. Unfortunately, Dan’s place was spotless. He would not start kicking things around. So, eventually, his anger just kind of dwindled out.   
Dan was staring through his apartment, not sure what to do, when suddenly his phone started ringing. He did not know the number on the screen. He answered the call, trying not to hope for Phil. Why would he hope for Phil when he was so mad at him anyways?  
“Hello?”  
“Hello. This is Margret Minford. Emma’s mother.”  
“Oh. Hello. How is Emma doing?”  
“She is much better, thanks. Problem is, she refuses to go to sleep as long as I haven’t thanked Mr Howell and Mr Lester.”  
“It was nothing.”   
“She was quite peculiar about thanking Mr Lester as we did not see him again.”  
“I will pass it on.” Dan said quickly.  
“Thank you and sorry to bother you.”  
“No worries.”   
After the phone call, Dan realised that even if he was willing to, there was no way he could pass on the thanks to Phil. He had no means of contacting him. He couldn’t just drive to school to thank him, could he?   
Turned out that he could and would. Dan surprised himself with how quickly he grabbed his things, put on a jacket and some shoes and left for the door. He jumped into the car. He really hoped for his own sake that he was so energetic because he wanted to get this over with. Dan tried to start the engine multiple times but his car wasn’t budging. He groaned and let his head fall onto the steering wheel. There was no way he was giving in now. He got out of the car and walked to the bus stop. The first bus that arrived, a couple of minutes later, would be able to take him as far as two blocks away from the school. Dan decided that that would have to do and paid for a single ticket.   
When Dan stepped out of the bus, he saw that it had started to rain. He stifled a groan and bravely stomped through the rain. He must have stepped into quite a few puddles because his shoes and the lower half of his trousers were soaking wet when he eventually arrived at the school. Dan felt numb and opened the door. Which was tricky when you could not really grab hold of the keys. Everything was a blur until Dan found himself in front of Phil’s door. He knocked several times and listened. There was no sound coming from inside the apartment. The door was locked. Dan tried to remember if he had seen a car in the car park but his mind was blank. He sighed and slid down the door. Who knew that a couple of steps through the rain could be so exhausting? 

Dan had not realised that he had fallen asleep. Only when he had to open his eyes at the touch of someone’s hand on his shoulder, did he realise that he must have nipped away.   
“Dan?” Phil asked carefully. Dan would have known his voice from anyone’s, even if his eyes had not yet adjusted to the light. “You are terribly cold. Let’s get you under a shower.” Phil held out his hand but even if Dan knew that he was supposed to grab it, he couldn’t make his hands move. Confusion flickered over Phil’s face before he tentatively grabbed Dan’s hands himself and pulled him up. He unlocked the door while steadying Dan with an arm around his waist. Dan’s skin prickled delightfully even if Phil touched him a couple of layers over his skin.   
“Can you stand on your own?” Phil asked.   
“Why?” Dan said and wobbled slightly. He did not want Phil to let go off him.  
“Because I thought you might want to take a shower.” Dan blushed. Phil was not mocking him, even if he was speaking very slowly and clearly.   
“I can stand on my own.” Phil did not look like he was too certain about that but he lead Dan over to the bathroom nevertheless.   
“Do call for me when you need help.” Phil said. “I’ll get you some dry clothes and you can warm up.”   
“Thanks.” Dan mumbled. The numbness had not yet left him. Dan did notice Phil letting go off him. He did not notice, however, that time was passing and before he knew Phil was back again with a pile of clothes.   
“Go on then.” Phil smiled. “Don’t lock the door. I won’t come in, but just to be safe.” Dan nodded quickly. With all the blood rushing to Dan’s face, he was sure that his cheeks were the warmest part of his entire body at that moment. Dan took a shower, managed not to slip but struggled to get into the clothes. He fought hard and managed without having to call for Phil. The pyjamas and the jumper Phil had given him smelled very reassuring, and Dan felt the tension dropping off him.   
“There you are.” Phil said and smiled when Dan emerged from the bathroom. There was a lovely smell in the air. Dan looked around and saw toasted sandwiches on two plates. Phil waved him over to sit down. Dan complied and avoided Phil’s gaze. The whole situation was humiliating. “Not to be mean or anything but what exactly are you doing here?” Oh, and it was getting worse.   
“Emma’s mum called to say that Emma said thank you.” Dan explained.  
“And that’s why you came all the way? Without your car?” Dan shrugged and studied his sandwiches. “I’m sorry.”  
“I’m sorry.” Phil said. “You must be mad at me for not turning up at drama club after leaving so abruptly.” Dan shrugged again. “I know you are. I’d be. Thing is, my brother is in hospital and my mum needed me to go there. I would have let you know but there wasn’t really time.” Dan felt incredibly bad for aver having doubted Phil.  
“I’m sorry.” Dan said again.  
“You haven’t done anything.” Phil said, and when Dan looked up he could see the confusion on Phil’s face.   
“I was angry.”  
“I told you. I would have been too.” Phil smiled, and Dan returned the smile. There was nothing to be said afterwards. At least Dan was too tired and exhausted to say anything. He munched on the toast and drank a glass of water. He practically fell asleep sitting up. Phil’s soft chuckles woke him again.   
“You can sleep in my bed.” Phil said and didn’t accept any sort of protest. Dan’s energy didn’t hold for long anyways, so he let Phil pull him up and tuck him into his bed. Dan was engulfed by a scent that he couldn’t have described with anything else than: Phil. It was no wonder that he fell asleep immediately.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See you tomorrow! :) <3


	21. December 21st - Thursday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... we'll get there! I promise! <3 Have a lovely day! <3 Enjoy. :)

Phil’s POV

The alarm clock woke Phil up. At first he reacted as he usual did. Blanket over his ears and ignoring the sound as good as he could. Only when he wanted to turn around and fell off the small sofa, was he properly awake. Phil sat up. The fall had not really hurt but Phil still hissed as the floor was terribly cold. He pushed himself up and sat down on the sofa again. He noticed that the alarm clock was still trying to wake him. He turned it off and took a few deep breaths. Phil swayed ever so slightly but he did not fall asleep again. He stood up and slowly approached the sink. He put the kettle on and went into the bathroom. The bright light eventually woke him completely. He was able to move a lot quicker too once he had woken not only his eyes but his entire body up with a few cruel splashes of cold water.   
Back in the kitchen, Phil made himself a cup of tea. He then went over to the sofa and checked his phone. The time was half past 5. Phil’s eyes plopped open, and he groaned. What had gone wrong? He sat down on the sofa. He smoothed out the blanket next to him, when suddenly his memory kicked in. Phil actually started laughing when he remembered the reason why he had been sleeping in the kitchen as opposed to his own bed. Phil stifled the laugh for the same reason. He went over to shaking his head. How had he not realised before that there was something not entirely normal about the day? He had fallen off the couch for heaven’s sake!   
The reason, why he had set his alarm clock to such an early hour, was that he needed to get some clothes for his mother and brother into the hospital. He had actually volunteered to do so, so that was what he had to do now.   
Phil was immensely proud with himself. He had managed to sound very interested in his mother and brother. Of course, Phil did care but the reason his heart was already beating faster again, was that no one less than Dan was asleep in his bed in right this moment.   
Phil looked down at himself and then over to the closed bedroom door and then back again. He was still wearing the same things he had for the entirety of the day before. Attempting to sneak into his bedroom to get a set of new clothes could very well not work out at all. Phil kept staring back and forth for a couple more minutes, before he resigned. He would not risk waking Dan, only to wear a new shirt. The amount of creases would be the same anyways.   
Instead of doing anything about his appearance, Phil grabbed his keys, wallet and jacket. He set out. The streets were pleasantly deserted. The occasional car nearly blinded Phil but they also kept him awake – give and take, ey?   
Phil parked in front of his mother’s house and went inside to get two sets of clothes. Martyn looked vaguely similar to their father. Also, he was not really in a state to care most about the way he looked. He had a healing limb to claim his attention. Phil also grabbed three apples off the counter before carefully throwing everything onto the passenger seat and driving off again.   
It was early enough still for Phil to find a convenient parking space. Once his car came to a halt, he practically jumped out. Being so eager, filled him with guilt. Phil wasn’t eager because he wanted to see his family badly. He was eager because if he was done seeing his family he would come home to Dan. This thought alone made Phil’s cheeks turn a flaming red.   
Phil walked into the hospital and approached the reception. He had a vague idea that visitors’ hour would not start for a few hours but he needed to see his family somehow. Phil explained his situation. The woman nodded and smiled. “Your mother called a couple of minutes ago. I am to send you upstairs.”   
“Thank you.” Phil said sincerely and wandered off. He had to smile when he thought how it sounded like the poor women at the reception desk was working for his mother. He always felt the influence of his mother’s natural authority but it was funny to see that he was not the only one that automatically caved.   
Phil walked through the corridors and reached Martyn’s room. He knocked carefully. There were feet walking towards him, and his mother opened the door. She was looking quite exhausted but there was a warm smile on her face as always.   
“It’s very good of you to come.” She said, after Phil had whispered a good morning.   
“I brought you clothes and apples.”   
“That should do.” Phil’s mother said. She pulled him out into the corridor and walked with him to a small tea area. She handed him a cup and told him about the news. Nothing had really happened since Phil had left. Well, nothing had really happened for his mother and brother. Quite a lot had happened for Phil which he wasn’t yet willing to share with anyone. After exchanging the few updates, Phil’s mother asked: “When do you have to be back?”   
Guilt immediately flooded through Phil. “Ehm…”   
“I was just asking because I doubt Martyn will wake up before that. He looks perfectly fine to me but the doctors might say something else.”  
“So, you wouldn’t mind if I went home now?”  
“Not really. You are strictly speaking not yet allowed here anyways.”  
“Update me on Martyn if you have time.” Phil said and hugged her.   
“Will do. Have a great day.”  
“You too.” Phil was slightly embarrassed at how quickly he walked back to his car.   
The streets were slightly fuller now but Phil still arrived back at the school in a good time. He ran towards the door, all the way until he was standing in front of his apartment. He caught his breath and checked the time on his phone. It was already half past seven. Time flew by when you weren’t conscious enough to take proper notice.   
Phil opened the door quietly but nearly yelped when he saw Dan standing in the middle of the room. He looked a little lost and terribly cold. “I’m so sorry. I thought you were still asleep.” Phil closed the door and rushed over to Dan. He pulled his blanket off the couch and draped it around Dan’s shoulder.   
“Thank you.” Dan whispered, he was still shivering terribly.   
“I went to take clothes to mum and Martyn.” Dan looked at him confused so Phil quickly explained that Martyn had broken his leg. He told him that that was where he had been the afternoon before and where he had just come from.   
“Poor Martyn.”  
“Poor you.” Phil smiled sympathetically. Phil thought that he saw Dan blushing but he looked slightly feverish anyways, so he couldn’t be sure. “You’re in no state to teach today.” Phil said matter-of-factly. When Dan wanted to protest, Phil added: “We need you tomorrow.” Dan nodded after a while. “I won’t tell them you’re here. Can you call in sick?” Phil asked. Dan nodded again. Phil gently guided Dan to a chair. He put his hands onto his shoulders and pushed him down. His heart was surely beating loud enough for Dan to hear, so he quickly turned to the sink and filled the kettle with water. He would not leave before he made sure Dan was doing fine. A pang of guilt shot through Phil, when he remembered that he had not cared nearly as much for Martyn. He reconciled himself with the knowledge that his mother was there to take care of him. While the kettle was doing its work, Phil turned around again. Dan was still shivering. Even with the blanket.   
“Wait a second.” Phil said unnecessarily. Dan was not going anywhere. He ran into his bedroom and came back with a Christmas jumper. He had worn it before but it was practically still fresh and clean. “Arms up.” Phil ordered gently. Dan frowned but reluctantly raised his arms. Phil took his hand and helped him into the first sleeve. He hurried a little more with the second one. It was driving him positively mad to feel Dan’s soft skin. If he wanted to be in a state to teach, he needed to stop right there.   
“I will be back every break.” Phil said when he handed Dan a cup of tea.  
“You don’t have to.”  
“Though luck, I want to.” Phil reminded himself of his mother in that moment but he quickly discarded that thought. “Will you be fine?”  
“Yes.” Dan smiled. He looked terribly tired. Phil helped him back into his bed before rushing to the first lesson. He was nearly late but that really wasn’t a priority. What bothered him a lot more was to be held up after the first lesson. The board had changed slightly because Dan was sick (was he?!) and Mr Stevens was eager to make sure everyone knew. For Phil this meant that he had drama club on his own and Dan and his class conjoined for the last two lessons. Phil eventually got rid of Mr Stevens, still being polite, and rushed back to Dan. Dan shuffled over and invited Phil to sit down next to him. Phil fought a blush and sat down quickly. He would have to leave soon but he could enjoy these few moments. He told Dan everything about the first lesson. Sensing, that he was sad that he couldn’t do anything.  
“I’ll be right back!” Phil shouted when he once again had to run to the next lesson.  
“Looking forward to it.” Okay, that might have been wishful thinking. Too much happened at once that Phil no longer could be sure. 

Dan’s POV

The first thing Dan thought when he woke up was that he was back in the library somehow. He had no recollection of going there, but the past days had proven him over and over again that he should not always listen to himself. Dan sat up slowly. He wasn’t feeling all too great. His head was pounding as soon as he left his lying position. Dan rubbed his temples and looked around the room. It was not his room, of that he was certain. Suddenly, Dan remembered where he was. He was in Phil’s apartment, or to be more precise: He was in Phil’s bed! Dan slowly turned around with a fast beating heart but Phil was not lying next to him. He forbade himself to be sad. He did not even know if Phil had fallen asleep next to him. Dan had no memory of him doing so. That meant that it was not a surprise to not see Phil next to him. Dan only wasted precious time thinking about this when he could already be with Phil again in the kitchen. Dan stood up. He ignored the tingling in his feet and the swaying of his body and made his way towards the door. He took a deep breath, as usual whenever he knew he was about to encounter Phil. Dan opened the door and was greeted with nothing. Phil was not in the kitchen. Dan’s heart sank a little but he caught it before it plummeted down. Phil might very well be in the bathroom, getting ready. Dan walked over to the bathroom door and listened. He must have stood there for five minutes before he realised that the door was slightly ajar and that no sound was coming out of it on top of that. Dan was suddenly scared. Where was Phil? He was nowhere in the apartment. Was he already in the school? Dan checked the time. No, there was no way that Phil was already off to teach a lesson. It was only a little past 7 o’clock. But where was Phil? Dan started shivering. He left his position in front of the bathroom door and walked over to the window. He squealed when he saw a car approaching but it did not even turn into the parking lot. Dan felt his face heat up and went away from the window as well. He wasn’t feeling too great still. It was a great effort to stay upright. It needed all of Dan’s concentration in fact. He was so focused on standing that he didn’t realise the time passing. Dan’s energy was nearly all gone, and he was already fearing what might happen when he was completely exhausted, when the door suddenly opened. Phil was wearing the same things as he had the day before. Dan surprised himself with noticing that little detail. He continued staring at Phil, not able to move, fighting to stay upright.   
“I’m so sorry.” Phil said hurriedly. “I thought you were still asleep.” Phil closed the door. A little bit of wind reached Dan and he started trembling even more. Phil was by his side in the blink of an eye. He pulled a blanket off the couch and draped it around Dan’s shoulders.   
“Thank you.” Dan didn’t quite recognise his voice. It was very feeble. He had not spoken so far which did not add to the strength of his voice.   
“I went to take clothes to mum and Martyn.” Phil explained. At least that was Dan thought he was doing. It did not make things any clearer for him. Dan must have looked just the way he had felt because Phil quickly started explaining that his brother had broken his leg and was in hospital because he had also cooled down quite a bit. Phil had visited him the day before and had been back this morning to bring some clothes to his mother and him.   
“Poor Martyn.” Dan said when Phil had finished.   
“Poor you.” Phil smiled. Dan’s heart could most certainly win races in record time. Also his face could surely outshine certain lamps. “You’re in no state to teach today.” Phil informed him. Dan wanted to protest. He needed a bit to gather himself and to tell himself that Phil had not meant that in any way insulting. When he was ready and about to start speaking, Phil said: “We need you tomorrow.” Dan’s face heated up some more. The words were completely gone now. Dan tried forming sentences but it was no use. He simply nodded after admitting defeat. “I won’t tell them you’re here. Can you call in sick?” Phil asked, and Dan nodded. He had theoretically been able to speak again if Phil had not decided to take his arm and guide him to a chair. If that would not have been enough already, the hands on his shoulders would surely have silenced him. Phil didn’t seem to be aware of the things he had caused within Dan. He simply turned around and made tea.   
Dan was still cold even with the additional blanket. He slightly regretted leaving the bed. Sure, he was with Phil now but he would have been with Phil anyways. Getting up had mainly resulted in him getting cold. Dan was looking at Phil the whole time but he still jumped slightly when Phil suddenly said: “Wait a second.” Dan could not really focus on anything. That was why he had looked at Phil but not seen him turn. Phil ran past him into his bedroom and came back a few seconds later. “Arms up.” Phil ordered. Dan frowned by means of hiding a ridiculous grin. He raised his arm but didn’t get very far. Who knew raising an arm was a proper workout? Phil took his hand and helped Dan into the jumper. Dan blushed to new extremes. Frist of all, Dan recognised the jumper. He had seen Phil wear it before. And secondly, Phil was touching him. It was utterly pathetic to react so strongly to such a light touch but there was nothing Dan could do about it.   
Phil went back to the sink. Dan was in awe that he seemed not to react in any way. Then again, why would he react at all? There were normal people on earth after all.   
“I will be back every break.” Phil handed Dan a cup of tea.   
“You don’t have to.” Dan said. He would have anything rather than Phil reluctantly looking after him.  
“Though luck, I want to.” Dan was incredibly relieved. “Will you be fine?”  
“Yes.” Dan smiled. Phil did care. Phil took the cup out of his hand again. Dan was too tired to make a witty comment. Phil helped him up with the other hand and led him to the bed. He tucked him in. There was no way for Dan’s face to go any redder. That was a small relief.   
Phil left soon afterwards. Dan was aware of feeling cold and lonely for a while. He also knew precisely how he had called the office to call in sick and what he had said. What he could not recall was drifting off to sleep.   
He woke up before the first lesson was over. They were relatively long, so he had a good hour of sleep. He was still cold when he woke up. Maybe even more so. Dan was shivering. All alone in Phil’s apartment, he felt pretty lonely and miserable. For a few seconds he started panicking about what had happened to his pupils. It was embarrassing that he had to remind himself that everything was taken care of as soon as the school knew he would not be coming. Still, he felt bad not to be able to do something. He felt sick, and Phil was probably right in saying that he was in no state to teach but Dan still felt like he was letting a good load of people down.   
Dan heard the bell ring. It took great effort not to hope for Phil too soon. In fact, he tried not to hope for him at all. There might be something interfering or Phil had not been too serious after all. Sooner than he would have even thought possible, Dan heard the door opening. Phil was with him in the next second. He was out of breath. Dan immediately made place for him on the bed but was still pleasantly surprised when Phil actually sat down. Phil animatedly started speaking about his first lesson. This could have made Dan even more miserable but it somehow soothed him.   
Phil had to leave far too soon for Dan’s taste. “I’ll be right back!” he shouted when he was already in the kitchen.   
“Looking forward to it.” Dan said. He had said it relatively loudly but there was still no way that Phil could have heard him.   
After the excitement of Phil’s visit, Dan immediately fell asleep again. His body seemed to only be capable of an hour sleep at a time during the day. Almost exactly on the minute, Dan woke up again and slowly travelled into the bathroom. When he was back underneath the covers again, the bell rang and maybe even quicker than before, the door opened, and Phil ran inside.   
“How are you?” Phil asked and fell down next to Dan.   
“Good.” Dan said and shivered.  
“Liar.” Phil said cheerfully. He started telling Dan of his latest lesson. Without missing a beat, he went on to describing his plans for the drama club. That would still be happening after all, even with Dan indisposed. Dan paid attention and nodded but he also fell against Phil, not entirely in control of his muscles. Dan started shivering again, when Phil nudged him into an upright position and distanced himself from him. That was as clear a message as any. Dan had to fight to stay awake and cheerful.   
Once Phil left after that, Dan allowed himself to wallow in sadness. There was no one there to see. It was cathartic to sigh deeply every now and then. The sighs soon turned into yawns and Dan fell asleep. This time he must have slept for longer than an hour. It was already pitch-black outside, when he woke up. The bedroom door was open. There was light streaming into the room from the kitchen. Phil was sitting at the table working away. Dan did not immediately make himself noticed. He first of all enjoyed the peaceful view. His heart clenched painfully when he realised that it was not at all certain that he would ever see this again. First of all there was Phil’s reaction from earlier but then there was also the fact that Phil was only employed as a substitute for Tim. A few weeks back Dan had not known Phil, then he had nearly despised him and now here he was, seemingly not able to live without him. Okay, this was a bit much. Dan stood up and slowly walked into the light.   
Phil turned around to him and smiled. “Do you want me to drive you home?” Phil evidentially wanted him to leave but maybe he was just being friendly.   
“I guess you have to.” Dan froze when he heard himself say this but he relaxed soon afterwards. He could blame it all on his illness. That was a relief.   
There were no things for Dan to pack, so they soon set out. Phil walked close by Dan. Occasionally, their elbows nudged, forcing Dan to walk as alert as possible. The journey to Dan’s house was mostly silent with Dan giving instructions every now and then.   
Phil eventually stopped the car but they stayed seated in silence until Dan said nervously: “I would invite you in but it’s the least comfortable place I can imagine.” Phil laughed a little, and then they sat there in silence once more. “Thank you for everything.” Dan said after a while.  
“Pleasure.” Phil smiled.   
Dan did not know what overcame him but he said suddenly: “I don’t want you to leave.”   
“I can bring you to the door if you want.” Phil offered kindly.  
“No. The school. I’d miss you.” Dan had never been so thankful for a car without central locking. He bolted out of the door before Phil could say anything. “Good night.” Dan called before rushing inside his building. That tiny bit of adrenaline left him soon afterwards. He just about managed to get into his apartment before having to lean against the wall to steady himself.   
For the rest of the evening, Dan did not allow himself to think. He drank tea in abundance and nibbled on crisps. He felt remotely better when he went to bed. There was no way he would miss the big day tomorrow. That was why he did not allow himself to wallow in self-pity. Once a day was enough.


	22. December 22nd - Friday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a great weekend! <3 Enjoy today's chapter and take care of yourselves, you precious lot! <3 :)

Phil’s POV

The most confusing feeling in the world was certainly to have slept safe, sound and comfortably but to be incredibly unhappy. It also irritated that Phil could not place this unhappiness. Why was he unhappy when he had slept in his bed and not on the sofa? Just as it had yesterday, thinking about the sofa brought everything back. Phil immediately knew why he was unhappy. Dan wasn’t with him. Phil could not have slept any better but that was meaningless as he was not with Dan. Phil got up and that seemed to signify that he was allowed to start thinking again. Last evening, he had stopped forcefully at one point. He got nowhere, and it was exhausting beyond means. Dan was the only thing Phil had thought about. He was not sure what to make of him. He had long accepted that it wasn’t merely interest he felt for him, there were actual feelings involved. Well, he had not really long accepted. It had only really dawned on him the day before when his skin would not stop tingling after touching Dan ever so slightly. He had conceded that that was not necessarily normal behaviour. When he had then not really been able to resist climbing in the bed with Dan, Phil accepted that he was not satisfied with Dan as his friend, let alone college. He wanted more. Phil still blushed when he thought about it.  
The hardest part had been to push Dan up into a sitting position after he had accidentally fallen against him. Phil would not exploit Dan’s delirious state. At first, Phil had been sure that Dan’s answer to his offer to bring him home was also due to that delirious state but when Dan said: “I’d miss you.”, Phil wasn’t too sure all of a sudden. Acting weirdly was one thing, speaking was another. Would Dan actually miss him?  
Phil snapped out of his thoughts. His hands were already wrinkly from holding them underneath the water for a long time. For the rest of the time it took him to get ready, Phil managed not to get too distracted. He took longer than usual but he was not completely lost in thought. He actually used the last few minutes to prepare himself for the next meeting with Dan.  
It turned out that that was the best thing he could have done, as he practically ran into Dan who was standing in front of his apartment door, not just yet about to knock. Phil was sure he was blushing. After all, he had spent the entire morning thinking about Dan but also because this was where he had met Dan on his first day. Both of these things made Phil’s blood run cold but funnily enough his face heat up.  
“Can I put my things in here?” Dan asked, holding up a bag. Phil saw a pair of nice shoes pocking out. “And also change here later?”  
“Why change? You look absolutely g… glamorous.” Glamorous was bad but better than gorgeous would have been.  
“I’ll have been sweating through this in no time. I am already so nervous. I need two outfits.”  
Phil pushed the door open again and said: “I honestly have no idea how they do it.”  
“Who?” Dan asked while placing his bag onto a chair at the table.  
“The children. I think the whole thing is nerve-wracking and I’m not even on stage!” They continued talking about the drama club, the play, and of course the evening, while walking to the staff room. Dan only wanted to get some things and be in his classroom early because this was the last day and he wanted to make it special for his children, especially since he had not been there the day before.  
“I’ll see you at drama club at the latest. I promise solemnly that I’ll be on time.” Phil joked.  
“See you. Have a great day.” Phil’s heart fluttered only to plummet down when he remembered that this was his last day. He pushed that thought aside. He needed to focus on all the good aspects of the day. There were bound to be many.  
There were many, but that did not mean that Phil did not feel like he was on the verge of tears all the time. The children were as cute as they had ever been. They would not leave his side once he confessed that this might very well be he his last day. He was surrounded by little people for the entirety of the lunch break. He did not really mind. Talking to Dan would have required a lot of strength, will power and restraint.  
Phil was still buzzing with excitement after the last lesson. In fact, it got worse the more time passed. He did not yet have any chance to disappear into the depths of despair. Phil was just on his way to the big hall for the prep talk, when Mr Stevens suddenly called him into his office. There was no way Phil could ignore that invitation. So he went, hoping he would not be terribly late. Mr Stevens knew that Phil needed to be at the drama rehearsal. That was why he was brief. “Tim is nearly fully recovered from the accident. However, he has also learned that teaching in a school is nothing for him. He wants to be a skiing instructor.” Mr Stevens paused and looked at Phil. “You are surely wondering why I am telling you this.” Phil nodded tentatively. “I am offering you a full job at this school. Your lessons would change slightly, not drastically. You don’t have to give me an answer now. Think about it and let me know in due course. We would be delighted to count you to our permanent staff.” Phil was completely flabbergasted but Mr Stevens really didn’t expect any sort of answer. He simply ushered Phil out of the room. Phil stood staring for a while before he remembered that there was a rehearsal he desperately needed to attend.  
Phil ran to the big hall and quickly mouthed “Sorry.” to Dan who looked worried, cross and relieved. Once again mastering several emotions while others only ever managed one. Dan quickly reminded everyone how great they were, and what an amazing show they would put on later that evening. He then chased everyone out of the room to get home quickly before they already had to be back.  
Before Dan and Phil went to change themselves, they made a quick tour around the stage to check that everything was in place. There was not a fault to be found, which was mainly because Dan had worked hard throughout the rehearsals and always restored everything to its original state.  
Eventually, they made their way to Phil’s apartment. It was ever so slightly awkward to determine that Dan would change in the bedroom, and Phil in the kitchen. They had to squeeze past one another multiple times to get everything they needed but they somehow each ended up with all their things. Phil started unbuttoning the shirt he was wearing at the moment when Dan asked: “Why were you late?” he sounded a little afraid, and Phil immediately felt horrible.  
“I’m so sorry. I forgot to tell you.”  
“Tell me what?” Dan asked. Phil dropped the shirt and picked up the new one.  
“Mr Stevens called me into his office to offer me a job.” Phil said. Dan squealed, and before Phil could register anything, Dan had thrown himself around Phil’s neck. Phil blushed deeply and immediately. He was only wearing an open shirt at the top, after all.  
Phil did not know how long they stood there, hugging each other. Phil was completely thrown off track. It might have been only a second, it might have nearly been a minute. Either way, it was far too short and left Phil, once again, wanting more. More than he would ever get, presumably.  
“Sorry.” Dan mumbled when he tumbled backwards a few steps.  
“Don’t apologize.”  
“I’m just very happy.” Phil’s heart leaped several feet into the air, surely. “So am I.” They grinned at each other. Neither of them seemed able to break the eye contact. In the end, they practically cleared their throat at the same time and turned back to getting dressed.  
Phil was done before Dan. At least, he was done and turned around to see Dan tying his shoelaces. Dan stood up, and Phil stopped breathing.  
“You look amazing.” Phil said. Dan flinched. He had not noticed Phil looking. Phil blushed, and so did Dan. Dan wasn’t wearing anything particularly fancy. He was wearing black trousers, black shoes and a white shirt. It was evidentially not the clothes that were outstandingly beautiful, it was Dan. “Beautiful.” Phil whispered.  
“Pardon?”  
“Very nice.” Phil said hastily. “You look very nice.”  
“Thank you. You look beautiful yourself.” How could Dan say that without fainting immediately? Phil was sure he would have fainted.  
“Thank you.” Phil said. The situation was on the verge of turning unbearably awkward: “Tea?”  
“Do you have a hat?” Phil told himself off in his mind. How could any situation with Dan ever be unbearably anything? Dan was the epitome of comfort. For Phil he was at least. 

Dan’s POV

Coming home the evening before was the best decision Dan could have made. It was so utterly uncomfortable in his apartment that he was terribly eager to leave. He had never gotten out of bed quicker, nor had he ever instantly found all the things he needed to take. There was usually never anything that allured him quite as much as the prospect of being with Phil again did. Dan’s enthusiasm dropped briefly once when he remembered that he was not being incredibly kind towards Patt. Patt had always been his best friend and she still was. But she no longer was his only best friend. Dan loved her and valued her immensely but he hoped that she could forgive him is very sudden, unsuspected and strong interest in Phil.  
Dan raced out of his door, into the car. Miraculously, the car started, making Dan momentarily think that his journey to Phil’s home on Thursday had been nothing else than fate. He discarded that thought, it made him a little uneasy and that was something he couldn’t afford while driving a car.  
Dan felt a little guilty when he realised that he had never been at the school quite so early. He forced himself to take things slow on the way into the school. He wandered speedily to Phil’s apartment. It felt like he was going backwards though. Dan stopped in front of the door. He was used to doubting thoughts by now. How could he not suddenly remember the first time he (literally) bumped into Phil? Phil had been different then but Dan suspected, so had he been. There was nothing ingenuine about the past days and that was all Dan wanted to think about.  
Before Dan could knock on the door, the door opened and Phil stood in front of him. Dan wondered if he still remembered the first time they had met. Maybe Phil had not paid any attention to anyone back then. Maybe he did not even took notice of Dan until… until what?  
“Can I put my things in here?” Dan asked. He was a little loud perhaps but he needed to speak over the voice in his head. “And also change here later?” Dan added. One thing without the other would be useless.  
“Why change? You look absolutely g… glamorous.” For the first time, Dan felt like he wasn’t the least in control.  
“I’ll have been sweating through this in no time. I am already so nervous. I need two outfits.” Dan’s voice wasn’t even quivering or anything.  
“I honestly have no idea how they do it.” Phil said as he opened the door for Dan.  
“Who?” Dan put his things onto a chair and turned around again.  
“The children. I think the whole thing is nerve-wracking and I’m not even on stage!”  
“It is exciting.” Dan agreed.  
“Well, you have a proper role in the whole thing. I have no reason to be nervous.”  
“You worked hard as well.” Dan told him. It was true. There was no way he could have put on the play without Phil’s help. They continued talking until they reached the staff room. Dan only went inside briefly to get rid off a few things before heading to his classroom, making sure that everyone had the last day they deserved.  
As usual on a last day, the children were extremely clingy and talkative. Dan didn’t mind. It felt lovely to safe talking to Phil until later. Looking forward to something was usually a big part of the joy.  
After the last class, Dan made his way to the big hall. Phil had promised to be there on time. Dan trusted him completely now so he did not worry when he wasn’t there when Dan arrived. He himself had taken quite a while to get rid of the children, or at least usher them to the big hall with him. Phil might as well take longer, that wasn’t bad. After five minutes however, Dan could not help it and started worrying. Dan pretended to be busy, and the children were far too happy to talk about Christmas to notice that they hadn’t started yet. A couple of minutes later Dan heard footsteps. He was incredibly relieved to see Phil. Phil mouthed “Sorry.”, and Dan quickly started the class, suddenly remembering the tight schedule.  
Dan was entirely professional for the entirety of the short class and the double checking of the stage. And yet, he could not help wondering what had kept Phil. It was particularly weird since he had promised to be on time.  
Only once Dan was in Phil’s bedroom, and Phil was in the kitchen changing into the new outfits, did Dan gather enough courage to ask: “Why were you late?”  
“I’m so sorry. I forgot to tell you.” Phil said immediately.  
“Tell me what?” Dan asked. He did not know why he was scared. He suspected that he did not want to hear the reason if it was something like Phil did not want to come after all.  
“Mr Stevens called me into his office to offer me a job.” Phil said. His voice had not changed so it took a few seconds for Dan to realised what he had said. Once he had, however, Dan dropped the trousers he had just begun to unfold and rushed into the kitchen. He fell around Phil’s neck. His skin felt like it was on fire. So did his face, obviously. Phil was wearing an open shirt. Dan was effectively flush against his bare chest. Neither of them said anything or moved. Dan enjoyed the feeling far too much to be the one to break apart. Only when Dan accidentally started snuggling into Phil further, did he realise that it was time to stop.  
“Sorry.” Dan mumbled, avoiding Phil’s gaze.  
“Don’t apologize.”  
“I’m just very happy.” Dan slowly looked up again.  
“So am I.” Phil smiled, and Dan returned the smile. They stood like that before breaking away simultaneously to finish getting dressed.  
Dan was just about done, when Phil suddenly said: “You look amazing.” Dan jumped and spun around. Dan looked down his plain things and wondered what had made Phil say that. Phil mumbled something else.  
“Pardon?”  
“Very nice.” Phil said. “You look very nice.”  
“Thank you. You look beautiful yourself.” Dan’s blood froze momentarily. That had slipped out of his mouth with no chance for him to stop the words. Dan relaxed again when Phil did not start screaming but said: “Thank you.” And after a small pause: “Tea?”  
“Do you have a hat?” Dan asked, and they started laughing. Dan was still nervous because of the show but he also felt incredibly light and happy. Phil put the kettle on, and Dan sat down at the table, still giggling softly.  
“There we go. For the greatest producer of our time.” Phil said when he handed him the tea.  
“Speaking of which. My grandmother is coming to see the play.” Dan said. He frowned a little at the segue but Phil only laughed good-naturedly.  
“That’s cool.”  
“I love my grandmother.”  
“I am sure you do.” Phil smiled. They kept talking about trivialities while drinking their tea. It helped to calm Dan down. He lost his nervousness and was purely excited now. After a second cup of tea, it was time for them to go back to the big hall. They distributed a couple of tealights around the hall, adding to the atmosphere. They would not be using the big chandeliers. They decided to go for the warm studio lights for the stage and let the rest of the audience sit in near total darkness. There was nothing for them to do anyways, so they might as well enjoy the atmosphere.  
Dan’s heart beat picked up speed as soon as they lit all the candles and put the big light off. The first parents with children started to arrive. Mr Stevens and other colleagues came and said hello briefly. Dan knew that they probably sensed that he could not focus on anything for too long.  
Patt walked over to him with a bright grin. She knew very well what Dan was going through internally, so she limited herself to saying: “You’re going to be amazing. Break a leg.” Dan was not superstitious but he still didn’t thank her. He would not have enunciated the words properly anyways.  
Just when Patt had left him, Dan saw his grandmother walking into the hall. She was very agile and properly fitter than Dan had ever been. He went over to her and gave her a hug.  
“It’s good to see you.”  
“Lovely to see you too.” She replied. Dan lead her to a place where she could comfortably watch the play.  
The next thing Dan knew was that Phil pulled him to the back of the stage. Getting the children into their costumes was very challenging but everyone was ready before Dan had to go out and welcome everyone. The play just whizzed past. Dan kept dreading the next scene for the eventuality of a mistake or an accident but nothing ever happened. The children were amazing and as professional as any actor of any age could have been. Dan was immensely proud and couldn’t help tearing up when they gathered on the stage to bow to the audience. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Phil whispering something to Clementine and Baxter. They came over to Dan and pulled him onto the stage. Dan’s face was bright red, and a tear rolled down his cheek but he was incredibly happy.  
The time it took for the big hall to clear out again did not feel like more than a couple of seconds either. Dan was still buzzing with adrenaline. He had sent the last child away from behind the stage when he walked into Phil.  
“That was amazing.” Phil said. Dan laughed and fell around Phil’s neck for the second time in the matter of hours. He could get used to that.  
“And who is this dashing young man?” Dan’s grandmother asked. Dan let go off Phil and turned to her with a big smiled. “This is my friend Phil. He helped with the rehearsals.”  
“Oh, in that case I will have to invite you both to dinner.”  
“Oh really. I can’t.” Phil said immediately.  
“Nonsense. You two deserve a treat for the amazing work you have done.” Dan’s grandmother just started walking. Dan followed and quickly linked arms with Phil. Another thing he could get used to.  
“Is this okay for you?” Phil whispered into Dan’s ear. Shivers ran down Dan’s spine. He stopped himself just in time from going into a wrong direction. Phil meant the dinner not them linking arms or anything even further than that.  
“Yes.” Dan said as calmly as possible. Phil presumably forgot to free himself from Dan’s arm. Dan was the last person to complain about that. They followed Dan’s grandmother to her car and sat in the back. Dan would have hated for Phil to sit alone, and rather more selfishly: He wanted to be close to Phil.  
Dan’s grandmother took them to a small, cosy pub. The food wasn’t exceptionally great but they wouldn’t have gotten a seat if it would have been. Now that the initial excitement of the play was over, Dan calmed down considerably. They listened to his grandmother reporting from her church. Phil knew even less of the people she talked about but that only proved once again that you didn’t have to understand what she was saying in order to see that it was hilarious. They had a great evening.  
“I’ll bring you boys back now.” Dan’s grandmother said when she had finished her elderflower drink. They got up. The journey back to school was a lot longer. Dan had to fight with his eyes over staying open. When he got out of the car, he staggered a little. He was properly tired now.  
“Take care of him, will you?” Dan’s grandmother asked Phil.  
“Certainly.” Phil answered warmly. Dan and Phil were soon left alone in front of the school. It was pitch black and you could actually see stars in the sky. It was considerably harder to keep one’s balance with a craned neck. Dan wobbled and leaned against Phil.  
“I don’t want to go home.” Dan whispered into the night. Phil didn’t answer. He put an arm around Dan’s waist and guided him to the door. Once they were inside, Phil let go. Leaving Dan longing for the soft touch.  
In Phil’s apartment, they got out of their clothes and changed into pyjamas. Dan borrowed a set from Phil. It smelled divine. Phil was in the kitchen and had already put the kettle on, when Dan emerged from the bedroom.  
“How about some tea with honey?” Phil asked with a smile.  
“Yes, please.” Dan did not sit down. He was tired and wanted to go to bed as soon as possible. Sitting down now would surely have meant staying in the kitchen for quite some time to come. Dan hoped he wasn’t alone with that feeling. He was relieved to see Phil walk over with him with the tea and then go on into the bedroom himself. He climbed into the bed and not so much with words but with a slight tilt of the head invited Dan to join him. Dan did not really need any sort of invitation, but it took away the guilty feeling which was very much appreciated.  
“You were amazing today.” Phil said when they were both lying underneath the covers. Dan was thankful to be so tired and exhausted. Otherwise this situation would surely have caused fits.  
“Thank you.”  
“I have never seen you be anything else than amazing.”  
“I dare say you are exaggerating now.” Dan laughed and yawned.  
“I’m not.” Phil said and stared at him. Dan grew hot under that stare but he did not want it to stop. They sat in silence and drank their tea. Phil was finished first. He leaned onto Dan to place the mug onto the floor. Dan sharply drew in a breath. “Good night, Dan.” Phil whispered, close to his ear. Dan hoped he did not hear his heart beating. It was ridiculous what an effect such a simple thing had on him.  
“Good night.” Dan answered in an embarrassingly hoarse voice.  
“I’ll make you more tea in the morning.” Phil mumbled before turning around and nodding off. It was safe to say that it took Dan longer than that to fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I fear that I'll be slightly late tomorrow, but you will hear from me, I promise! <3  
> Love you all lots! <3 :)


	23. December 23rd - Saturday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being this late! <3 I was a t a magnificent concert yesterday and only just returned home. Hopefully the content of the chapter will make up for its lateness. :) <3  
> Enjoy! See you tomorrow! :)

Phil’s POV

Phil had not been entirely sure if he should accept Dan’s grandmother’s invitation for dinner. Dan looked euphoric at the idea but that might very well have been simply the aftermath of the excitement of the play. Phil did not want to exploit Dan in any way. However, when he linked arms with Phil and answered affirmatively to Phil’s question, Phil decided to just go along. Everything else would have been wasting time. Also, he would have regretted any decision that differed from this one.   
Dan’s grandmother was terrific. She was funny, kind and witty. Dan had quite a few things in common with her. The evening was just amazing. It was even better obviously when Dan leaned against Phil and said that he did not want to go home when they were standing in front of the school, watching the stars. Phil didn’t want Dan to go home either. He also still didn’t want to exploit Dan but there was surely a way to find common ground. In the end, Phil could not help initiating them sleeping in one bed but he made a compromise in that he would turn the other way and keep to his side as much as possible.   
Phil woke up the next morning to see that he had kept to neither of the rules he had set himself. Not only was he facing Dan, he also had an arm draped over his waist. Phil didn’t move. Dan did not seem about to wake up, and Phil was far too comfortable. It was mesmerising to watch Dan’s chest rising and falling. Phil could not look away. Dan had him trapped in that position without even doing anything deliberately. In the end, it was also Dan who freed him again. He started moving. Phil looked away immediately and pulled his hand away as well. Dan stretched, and Phil had to look back again. Dan slowly opened his eyes and looked at Phil.  
“Morning.” Phil smiled.  
“What are you looking at me for?” Dan whispered and rubbed his eyes.  
“Sorry.” Phil said and looked away.  
“No. Sorry. I was just curious. Did I slobber?” Dan wiped his chin.  
“No. There is nothing.” Phil said and accidentally caught Dan’s hand. Dan’s eyes widened but he did not pull his hand away. “How did you sleep?” Phil asked. He hoped it seemed like he was mindlessly rubbing circles on the back of Dan’s hand with his hand.   
“Very good. Thank you.” Dan said and shuddered.  
“Are you cold?” Phil only received a raised eyebrow to that question. “What is that supposed to mean?” There was no answer coming from Dan while Phil was checking the time on the clock behind the door. “Oh, no. I am terribly sorry.”   
“What for?”   
“I have to go and visit Martyn now. Well. I maybe don’t have to but I ought to. They are home now but they might need me to get something for them.”  
“I could always come with you.” Phil could not tell if Dan was being serious or not.  
“You sure you want that?”  
“They are the ones that probably don’t want that but I will come with you tomorrow.”   
“I can hardly say no to that.” Phil said, He was not entirely sure about Dan’s logic but he would just roll with it as it was exactly to his taste.   
They got up reluctantly and started changing. Dan was looking around for his things. Phil picked up another of his Christmas jumpers and threw it at him. “You can wear that.” He said. Dan awkwardly twisted the jumper around, not quite managing to put it on. Phil walked over to him and pulled the jumper over his head, before taking his arms and pushing them through as well.   
“I sometimes know how to dress.” Dan rolled his eyes.   
“Always there if you need help.” Phil laughed. He didn’t feel too bad about flirting when Dan laughed and rolled his eyes once more.   
Once they were dressed, Phil accompanied Dan to his car. They decided not to have breakfast at Phil’s. He barely had anything there anyways. They also decided that Phil would just come around at some point to pick Dan up the next day, to go and visit Phil’s family. His father would be back as well – something Phil only ever realised when he was already in his car. His father wasn’t horrible. At the very most slightly embarrassing but it was too late to change the plan now anyways.   
Phil arrived at his parents’ home and got out of the car. He rang the doorbell and had to wait a few moments before his mother opened the door: “You could do with a shower.”  
“Lovely to see you too.”  
“Oh, didn’t I say that?”  
“No, you didn’t. It’s okay. I’ll blame it on the lack of sleep.”  
“I have slept wonderfully once back in my own bed.”  
“Mum, you keep making it worse.” Phil laughed. He pushed past her, kicked off his shoes and walked into the living room.  
“Bulb! I thought it was you I heard crashing the car.” Martyn shouted happily.  
“Crashing the car?” Phil’s father hurried out of the kitchen.  
“It’s nothing, dad. Martyn’s medication makes him delirious.”   
“I’m not on any sort of medication.”  
“You don’t want to be excused, do you?” Phil groaned and let himself fall down next to Martyn on the couch. “How are you?”  
“Good. Thanks. You?”   
“Wait until I’m back before you say anything!” his mother shouted from the kitchen.  
“What makes you think I have got anything to tell you?” Phil shouted back.   
“You wouldn’t be here anyways.”  
“Oh, believe me. I have places I could be.”  
“See, you have something to tell us.” She said triumphantly as she carried a tray with different mugs into the living room. Phil blushed and quickly took a cup to divert the attention somehow. “Go on then.”  
“Yes, Bulb, open your heart and let the light shine on all of us.”  
“I see what you did there.” Phil grimaced. “I don’t really have anything to tell you.” He tried once more.   
“Come on, Bulb.” Martyn nudged him. Phil nearly dropped his cup. What he did drop at that point was the hope to get out of telling them.   
“I can’t have you laughing though.” Phil warned. They all nodded solemnly. “Okay, here goes nothing:” Phil took a deep breath and started talking. He began his tale right at the beginning. He didn’t even leave out that much. That way, Martyn had to listen again but his parents were on the same level at least. Phil started talking of how he had met Dan, how he had thought little of him, how that had changed abruptly, and how they had gotten closer over the past few days. Phil could not stop smiling. It was insane what power mere thoughts of Dan had over him. He only had to picture the brown hair, the brown eyes or the dimpled smile in order to feel warm and comforted.   
“Oh my dear boy. I am so happy for you!” Phil’s mum exclaimed at the end and hurried over to him to press a kiss onto his cheek. Phil blushed and gently pushed her away again. His father smiled approvingly.  
“Don’t you think this is all a little too quick and topsy-turvy?” Phil asked.  
“Not the way you’re smiling, dear.” His mother replied. She got up and tried to discreetly pull his father into the kitchen. She seemed to be unaware of the fact that it was not hard to notice that two of four people had suddenly disappeared.  
Phil turned around to Martyn and saw that he was frowning. Phil’s heart tumbled immediately. “What is it?” Phil whispered. He did not know what he was scared of but he doubted he could like anything that came out of Martyn’s mouth when he was looking the way he did.  
“I will tell you but please remember that I am only trying to help.” Martyn winced.   
“Go on.” Phil kneaded his fingers. Needless to say that his smile had disappeared from his face.   
“I know you like Dan excessively. I also assume that he likes you as well.” Phil didn’t dare to breathe. There was a ‘but’ coming. That was as clear as day. “But: How sure about Dan and Patt’s relationship?” Phil’s heart sank into his boots. “Please don’t be mad. I am only trying to help.”   
“I’m not mad.” Phil whispered.   
“So you don’t know?” Martyn asked carefully. Phil shook his head. “Who knows, there might be nothing.”  
“The way they always put their heads together.”  
“Has Dan ever mentioned Patt?”  
“I think so. He must have. I never paid too much attention to that.” Martyn smiled sympathetically.   
“Thing is, you won’t know until you ask.”  
“Ask?”  
“Yes. What’s the worst that could happen?” The wheels in Phil’s head immediately started spinning. “Forget that.” Martyn said quickly. Phil was well-known to be able to imagine the worst-case scenario. “You have got nothing to lose.” Phil raised his eyebrows and huffed. “None of these work.” Martyn sighed. “It is better to know though, believe me.” Even if Phil would have wanted to not believe him, he probably would not have had any chance.   
“Let’s not tell mum and dad.” Phil said after accepting that he did need to know.   
“Sure thing, Bulb.” Martyn smiled encouragingly. Phil was wrapped up in thinking about how and when he could ask Dan. Otherwise he might have been able to acknowledge all the different ways Martyn could smile.   
Phil stayed until after lunch. It would not have been possible for him to leave earlier than that, and being surrounded by his family actually restored a bit of his strength. Phil sat down in the car and pondered what he should do. He started up when he remembered that he had forgot to tell his family that Dan would be accompanying him the next day. Phil relaxed again with a sigh. There was not yet any need to tell anyone of such plans. First, he needed to inquire about Dan’s relationship status. This felt like an inappropriately formal way of expressing what Phil had to do. He could think of no other but then again, actually doing what he had to do was far more important than the way he thought about what he had to do.   
Phil started the engine and drove towards the school. As soon as he recognised the route he had taken to Dan’s home, he followed that. He stopped the car in front of the ugly building and took several deep breaths. That neither calmed him nor gave him courage. In the end, Phil just got out of the car and rang Dan’s doorbell.   
“Hello?”  
“Hello. It’s Phil.”   
“Oh. I thought you might be Patt. Come on up.” Dan could not have said anything less encouraging but Phil climbed the stairs anyways. He would not ask through the speaker. “Hello.” Dan smiled. Phil saw that he had just taken a shower but he didn’t allow himself more than a fraction of a second to think about it.   
“I’m sorry but I have to ask: Do you have a girlfriend?” This would have to do. Phil’s heart was pounding and he couldn’t hear anything Dan said. Then again, to be fair, Dan had not yet said anything.   
“I don’t.” Dan said eventually. Phil’s knees began to buckle but he caught himself before dropping down.   
“Dan?” Phil asked. Dan looked surprised, and Phil couldn’t reproach him for doing so. He had no idea where he was going with this either.  
“Phil?”  
“Would you mind getting all the things you think you’ll need?” Dan’s eyebrows raised for another few millimetres before Dan turned around. He left the door open and Phil had no idea what had just happened. A couple of moments later, before Phil could have seriously started thinking, Dan was back with a bag in his hand. Phil started smiling and lead the way to the car.   
They sat down in silence, and it was after Phil had driven around the first corner that Dan carefully asked: “What is this, Phil?”   
“This, Dan, is a date.” Phil nearly crashed the car then, Dan’s giggling was too adorable and intriguing to keep a clear head. Even if his head did not stay clear, Phil considered not crashing the car a valuable achievement. 

Dan’s POV

Dan loathed himself ever so slightly when he realised that he only really woke up when he opened the door to his flat. He could not even properly remember what he and Phil had talked about. Dan wanted to remember every single thing. He was still trying to figure out how his attitude had changed so quickly. Every detail was valuable. This was undoubtedly all true but Dan was also unhappy because he had not enjoyed the morning as much as he could have if only he’d been more awake.   
Dan did not really loath himself. That was far too strong a word. He was only extremely disappointed. That was the first time he was ‘extremely disappointed’ on the first day off school.   
In the shower, a few memories came back to Dan. He remembered the way Phil had looked at him when he had woken up. He would not say no to always waking up like that. Dan quickly tried thinking of something else. What use was it to think of something that would not happen in donkey’s years?  
After the shower, Dan was dreading the day that was before him. How was he supposed to survive a day where he couldn’t help torturing himself with thoughts about Phil? Dan wondered, not for the first time, when his cautious attitude towards Phil had transformed into this admiring one. He was well aware that he had started liking Phil before he had allowed himself to, but that did not justify his behaviour entirely. Retrospectively, it seemed like someone had turned a switch. That was an alright picture but it was not normal.   
Replaying everything that had happened did not lead to anything, so eventually Dan stopped. In a way, it was already hard enough to not be with Phil, so plaguing himself with trying to find answers was not necessary.   
Dan had just settled down and was about to prepare himself for the seemingly endless day, when the doorbell rang. Dan got up. It was a little after lunchtime. Who would come to him now? Dan could only think of Patt, who occasionally arrived without announcing she would. She always thought she had but that never lead to her not doing it again.   
“Hello?” Dan asked before pushing the button to open the door.   
“Hello. It’s Phil.” The clarification was unnecessary. Dan knew Phil’s voice.   
“Oh.” In fact, Phil’s voice seemed more familiar to Dan than his own did in that moment. “I thought you might be Patt.” This was not the recovery Dan had thought himself capable of. “Come on up.” He needed to cut this short if he ever wanted to feel comfortable in his own skin again. Dan heard Phil climbing the stairs. It was only then that he realised that he would actually see him again. A smile immediately popped up on his face. “Hello.” Dan was playing it safe. Anything more and he would have potentially embarrassed himself severely. Phil did not return the smile. It wasn’t as bad as that Dan completely drifted into his old behaviour but it did unsettle him substantially.   
“I’m sorry but I have to ask:” This did not make it any better. Dan held his breath and waited for Phil to ask the question. “Do you have a girlfriend?” Dan was dumbstruck. He stared at Phil. Did he really just ask that completely unnecessary question? Dan was not in any way offended or anything. He was only genuinely surprised that anyone could think that he had a girlfriend. He was even more surprised that there seemed to be people around that cared enough to ask. Well, there was Phil.   
Dan noticed that he had been silent for quite a while now. He prepared himself and then said: “I don’t.” He sounded ever so slightly meek but he did not tremble or stutter.   
“Dan?” This was quite far down on the list of things Dan would have thought most likely for Phil to say.   
“Phil?”  
“Would you mind getting all the things you think you’ll need?” There was no use trying to pretend that this made any more sense to Dan. He did not dare to ask however. Actually, it was more like he trusted Phil enough to just go along. After the first surprise, Dan turned around and bolted through his apartment gathering a slightly weird assortment of things. He supressed the giddy feeling and went back to the door. He needed to be calm, and remembering the morning: He needed to be fully aware of what was happening.   
A smile appeared on Phil’s face. Dan smiled back. Neither of them said anything. Phil walked ahead, Dan closed the door to his apartment and quickly followed Phil. They reached the car and sat down. Phil started driving. Dan was still trusting Phil but he was also curious what this was all about. That was why he took his time to prepare himself before asking carefully: “What is this, Phil?”   
Phil kept his eyes fixed on the road. “This, Dan, is a date.” Dan had not realised that he had been holding his breath once again. He only noticed when he exhaled in form of giggles. In a way tension left him completely but he soon realised that it had not left him but only been replaced by a different kind of tension. Now he was nervous and excited. He did not often go on dates after all. Also, this was still Phil he was talking about. Dan was honestly amazed that Phil could drive on so easily. If he would have been in his position he would surely have at least caused the car to jerk. Then again, every car always seemed to jerk when he was driving it. Dan couldn’t believe how calmly Phil drove on.   
“Where are we going?” Dan asked after another few moments of composure.   
“This will be disappointing: Just my home.”   
“Sounds perfect.” Dan said. There was nowhere else he would rather be. Public would be far too stressful, and no other private place was as comfortable as Phil’s home was for Dan.  
“You have got appallingly low standards.” Phil said and smiled at Dan. Once again, Dan would surely have driven off the street if he had dared to look away for more than a second – not to mention that looking at Phil could very well make Dan cause accidents even if he was only walking.   
They did not speak for the rest of the journey. It wasn’t too long until they reached the school, and Dan also feared he would not be able to stand another situation where they did more than sit next to each other.   
When Phil stopped the car, Dan felt that he was trembling. He glanced over to Phil and was happy to see that he didn’t seem to be terribly at ease either. In the same moment, Phil glanced over to Dan. Dan saw that Phil saw that Dan was glancing at him. At the exact same moment, Dan and Phil started giggling. Dan looked away and tried to stop but with Phil giggling on right next to him, there was no way he could stop.   
Phil had stopped the engine quite a while ago but it took some time for the coldness from the outside to seep in. Once it did, Dan started shivering which also had its good side as Dan finally stopped giggling.   
“Let’s go inside.” Phil smiled warmly. Dan nodded and opened his door. He stepped out and started shivering some more. He quickly grabbed his bag and shut the door. Before he could register anything else, Dan felt Phil’s arm around his waist. “You’ll be warm in no time.” Dan agreed silently: He would certainly heat up instantly with Phil’s arm at a place like that. Phil managed to lock the car, unlock the door, open the door for Dan and guide him through without letting go off Dan. Dan couldn’t but admire him, especially since he had already trouble walking without falling over.   
They walked in silence to Phil’s apartment. It took a lot of willpower for Dan not to freak out, so talking was out of the question. It was more of a comfortable silence, though. Phil opened his door. That was when he let go off Dan. Dan fought back the shivers that threatened to take control over him, and stepped inside. He kicked off his shoes and placed his bag on top of them. He took off his jacket and put it over the back of a chair. The apartment was warm but taking off layers always meant getting cold at first.   
“Would you like some tea?” Phil asked.  
“Do you even have to ask?” Dan laughed.  
“No.” Phil grinned. He put the kettle on and prepared the mugs while Dan sat down on one of the chairs. They didn’t speak but there was no need. Dan settled back in the chair and enjoyed the view. Phil’s apartment was remarkably cosy. Also, seeing Phil added to the greatness.   
“There you go.” Phil said as he placed the steaming cup in front of Dan.   
“Thank you.”  
Phil sat down opposite of Dan and smiled. Dan knew that he was blushing. “I’d never have thought you’d say yes to a date.”   
Dan’s blush deepened but he would not be defeated so quickly: “Well, technically, you didn’t ask me.”  
Phil’s eyes widened before he started grinning: “Would you have said no?”  
“Of course not.”  
Phil’s smile deepened first but then faltered slightly. “Since when would you not have said no?” He asked timidly.  
“What do you mean?” Dan asked and took a sip of his tea.  
“You can tell me if I’m wrong but I have the impression that you would not have said yes when we first met or even when I joined the drama club.”  
“You’re not being fair here.” Dan decided to ignore the blush, focusing on it did not make it better after all. “After all, I doubt that you would have asked me at those times.”   
“Ah, let’s not talk about that.”  
“You started!” Dan laughed.  
“When did you start liking me?” Dan winced slightly. “Sorry, I have no right to ask.”  
“Of course you do.” Dan sighed. “I just feel bad about my behaviour.”  
“You feel bad? Have you ever thought how I feel?”  
“Constantly.” Dan said quietly. Neither of them said anything. They kept losing their track. “All I know for sure is that I liked you before I allowed myself to like you.” Phil looked confused. “Do you want me to explain?” Phil nodded. “Okay, don’t interrupt me please.” Phil nodded again. “At first I was not sure what to make of you. Let’s stick with that. Then I saw how well you worked with children in the drama club. However, your behaviour was so different around me and children that I was sure you were just pretending. Well, I thought you were. I now know that I like you but I can’t tell you when I started liking you.”  
“Oh, so you like me?” Phil smiled broadly. Dan hid his face behind his mug and didn’t answer. “Dan.”  
“Yes?” Dan still didn’t look at him.   
“There is a reason why I behaved differently around you and children, compared to adults.” Dan looked up slowly. “I was instantly comfortable around you once I realised that you were Mr Howell.”  
“What on earth do you mean?” Dan asked.  
“Oh. Of course. You don’t know.”  
“No, I don’t.”   
“I can’t remember when but at some point I heard of a Mr Howell who put on a play and generally seemed like the only sensible colleague around.”  
“Oh, I remember you reacting weirdly at that first drama club.”  
“Yes.” Phil grimaced. “Sorry.”  
“I’ll take it as a compliment.”   
“Your standards really are the most appallingly low ones anyone has ever encountered.” Dan had no idea if or what he was supposed to answer to that. He smiled uncertainly and finished his tea quickly.   
After tea, Dan and Phil went over into Phil’s bedroom to settle onto the bed and watch a Christmas film. When the first one was over, Phil stood up and put the second one on. During the second film, Dan slowly sank down onto Phil’s shoulder. Phil did not push him away this time, inviting Dan to cuddle into him further. Dan was lightly dozing when the second film was over. Phil stood up, waking Dan up.   
“I am so sorry. There are two, well three calls I have to make. I will be right back.” Phil said mysteriously. Dan was too tired to be sad. He sank down onto the spot where Phil had just been sitting and accidentally closed his eyes.  
He had no idea how much time had passed when Dan felt the mattress moving due to Phil sitting. “How am I supposed to feel now? I have just mentally prepared myself to kiss you and there you are sleeping.” Dan had opened his eyes as soon as Phil had sat down. Now he was just staring at him.   
“Kiss me?” Dan whispered and slowly sat up.   
“What else do you think I have been thinking about the whole time?” Phil smiled and gently caressed Dan’s face with his right hand. He pushed himself closer to Dan with his left hand. “You are absolutely gorgeous.” Dan froze, not in panic but in anticipation. Phil moved closer and Dan closed his eyes. It was weird that his body seemed to know what to do, considering that this sort of stuff never happened to him usually.   
Dan practically melted into Phil when his lips touched him. Dan managed to be relieved not to have made any sound just in time before he could not think of anything. The kiss was tender. Phil slowly started running his hands through Dan’s hair. Dan felt his own hands finding Phil’s chest. He left them there uncertain of what else he should do. Phil gently broke free far too soon and smiled at Dan. Dan returned the smile and awkwardly took his hands off Phil’s chest. Phil chuckled quietly and caught Dan’s hands. He placed them exactly where they had been and leaned forward to place a small kiss onto Dan’s nose. Dan looked down embarrassedly. Phil chuckled again. He gently pushed Dan’s head up with his own and started kissing him again. He was still holding Dan’s hands pressed against his chest. Dan had just started losing himself again when Phil broke free. Dan frowned unsatisfied.   
“Sorry. Pizza.” Phil said and held up his phone. Dan realised then that the phone was ringing.  
“Oh.” He said and smiled apologetically.   
“Oh, Dan.” Phil sighed and pressed a short kiss to his lips before jumping up to get the pizza. That must have been one of the calls he had made. Dan sat up and patiently waited for Phil to return. Needless to say that he was no longer tired.


	24. December 24th - Sunday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Chirstmas Eve! <3   
> I hope you have the best of days! The day is going to be very busy for me, but I would not have it any other way! :)   
> I love you all very much and am ever so thankful for the love you have shown me and my story!  
> See you tomorrow! :) <3

Phil’s POV

Phil woke up. He did not immediately open his eyes. The things his other senses made him feel were already quite overwhelming. The first thing he noticed was that he was holding a warm body in his arms. The next thing was a sweet and somehow warm smell that engulfed him. Before Phil opened his eyes, he started smiling when he heard Dan inhale slowly. Now that Phil also saw Dan, there was nothing preventing his heart from beating faster. This was not normal under different conditions but it was certainly weird as Phil only saw the back of Dan’s head. Dan’s hair was untidy. Phil smiled when he remembered that that was mainly thanks to him. Now that he had started, he could not stop thinking about kissing Dan. Phil had no idea how, but there was something about Dan that made him lose his mind. Dan seemed so innocent and tender and uncertain in his movements. It was nearly too much to take.   
Phil enjoyed lying next to Dan for a couple of minutes. It was an amazing feeling to be able to hold him in his arms. Phil had never been more comfortable, and yet he could no longer endure it. He feared that if he stayed, he would wake Dan which was not fair. So instead, Phil pressed a small kiss into the nape of Dan’s neck. He thought he saw a reaction in Dan but he left before he could be sure. Phil went into the kitchen and started making breakfast. His mother had given him a few things when he had left them the day before. She had to remind him of that when he had called the evening before to tell her that Dan would accompany him the next day – today, that was. Phil put the kettle on and remembered the third call he had made, apart from the pizza place and his mother: He had called a number his mother had given him and ordered a teapot. It was a weird present but it was a present. He really wanted to give Dan something and a teapot was a nice thing. Also, Phil was really excited because it was a present that had some sort of meaning for both of them. He could not wait to accumulate more secret jokes the two of them shared. The shop he had called was really close to his parents’ home so it was easiest to get the teapot delivered there.  
Phil worked his way at least two thirds through the breakfast when he heard a wail coming from his bedroom. Phil chuckled. Dan wailed again.   
“Get up! We’re having breakfast.” Phil shouted and flipped the eggs surprisingly successfully. Phil heard a bit of shuffling before the door opened behind him and Dan stepped into the kitchen.   
“You’re cruel.” Dan whined. Phil only chuckled but nearly started chocking when Dan suddenly pressed himself against him, his arms around his waist. He is the cruel one! Phil thought as he tried to remain calm.   
“I’m not cruel.”  
“You are.” Dan mumbled into Phil’s shirt. Phil put the stove off. He loosened Dan’s grip and turned around in the embrace.   
“I’m not.” Phil said and mimicked Dan with putting his hands around his waist as well.   
“I need proof for that.”   
“Well, first of all you get breakfast first thing and secondly we have something to do today so you need to be awake.”   
“Okay, I can see that. Do you want to hear my arguments?” Phil nodded. “I had to wake up alone in a bed and have not even been kissed yet.”   
“Oh no.” Phil smiled. He took Dan’s face into his hands and kissed him. He turned them around so that Dan was now pressed against the counter. Phil leaned into him and kissed with as much emotion as he could muster without tearing himself apart.   
When Phil broke apart, Dan was panting slightly. “See, you’re cruel.” He said and leaned his head against Phil’s shoulder. Phil rubbed Dan’s back and pulled him over to the table.   
“What do we have planned for today?” Dan asked while munching on some toast.  
“We are visiting my family.” Phil said carefully. There was a slight chance he had misunderstood Dan the day before. Maybe he had been too quick in announcing their visit to his mother yesterday. Sure enough, Dan started coughing. “I’m so sorry. We don’t have to go. It’s just that you said you could always come with me. Sorry. I should have asked.”   
Dan stopped coughing and raised his arm to stop Phil from talking. “No. Sorry. You caught me by surprise. I am fine with visiting your family! Scared, excited, anxious – you pick, but I am fine!”   
“Are you sure?”  
“Yes.” Dan said. It was the first time that he was the one to take Phil’s hand and squeeze it.   
“This means a lot.”   
“It better.” Dan laughed and pulled his hand away to continue eating. They finished breakfast talking about everything and nothing. Phil enjoyed Dan’s company, and Dan did not seem to suffer too much either.   
“Have you brought anything to wear?” Phil asked while washing up the dishes.   
“I’m not stupid.” Dan laughed and walked over to his bag. “Actually, I am stupid.” He groaned. “I took the blanket and not the jumper.” Phil turned around and started laughing. “Very funny.”  
“Isn’t it?” Phil walked over to Dan and placed a small heap of foam onto his nose. “You can borrow something from me.”   
“Thank you.” Dan said sincerely before hurling himself at Phil to press his nose into his neck.   
“Oi!” Phil laughed. Dan ran into the bedroom, and Phil went back to the sink to finish the washing up.   
Phil turned around when Dan coughed. “Wow. You’re beautiful.” Phil couldn’t stop himself. Dan was standing in the doorframe wearing the pyjama bottoms but no top. He looked away embarrassedly. Phil suppressed a sigh and walked over to Dan in two long strides. He couldn’t resist running a hand over Dan’s chest to his shoulder, to his arm to take his hand in the end. Goose pimples appeared all over Dan’s skin. “You are.” Phil whispered before kissing Dan gently. Dan seemed lost for words so Phil pulled him into the bedroom and pulled out another Christmas jumper. This time it had an UFO on it which was beaming up presents.   
“You have a lot of Christmas jumpers.”  
“Thank you.” Dan frowned but then started laughing. “You’re welcome.”   
They got dressed quickly and were ready to leave no more than twenty minutes later after drying the dishes quickly. Phil left the apartment but Dan excused himself quickly and went into the bedroom. Phil waited in front of the apartment. Dan came back a few minutes later: “Forgot my phone.” He said. Phil did not say anything, and they walked to his car. He started driving. At one point, Phil noticed that Dan was fidgeting with his phone. Phil smiled and grabbed Dan’s hand.  
“Do you think we’re doing this too quickly?” Dan asked nervously.  
“I am not even over the speed limit.” Phil said. Dan acknowledged the joke with a brief smile but he did not say anything. “If you are not comfortable with something, tell me. I will do whatever you want me to.”   
“Thank you.” Dan said and squeezed Phil’s hand. “This is not all too soon?” he asked.  
“For you it might be soon – I’ve been waiting three weeks.”  
“That’s not that long either.”  
“I am comfortable.” Phil said, and Dan nodded.   
“It’s not really romantic though, is it?”  
Phil looked at Dan as long as he could without crashing the car. “You walked through rain to get to me, and slightly less impressive: I made you breakfast today.”   
“I’m being stupid.”  
“Correct.” Phil laughed and squeezed Dan’s hand.   
They arrived at Phil’s parents’ house shortly after that. Phil stopped the engine and looked at Dan with a smile. “We’ll be fine.” He leaned over and kissed Dan softly. It still felt surreal that he could just do that. He got out of the car and opened the door for Dan. He couldn’t resist and kissed him again. “Sorry.” Phil mumbled.  
“You don’t ever have to apologise for that.” Dan laughed with red cheeks. Phil smiled and pulled Dan to the front door. Before he could have rung the doorbell, Phil heard Martyn say: “Mum it’s suspicious if you open the door immediately after they rung.”   
“I would have waited a while.”   
“The door is practically see-through anyways.” Martyn said. He was right. Phil could clearly see them both standing there.  
“It’s also not sound-proof.” Phil said. His mother yelped and threw the door open.   
“Phil! How nice to see you! And you must be Dan!” she hugged first Phil and then Dan. Dan was taken by surprise but he did seem to enjoy it as well. “Come on in, you two. Tea?” They barely managed to say yes before she was off into the kitchen.   
“Hi, Bulb. Nice to see you again, Dan.” Martyn said and limped into the living room. Phil placed a hand on the small of Dan’s back and pushed him into the living room as well.   
“Bulb?” Dan asked as he sat down next to Martyn.   
“Yeah, I used to say ‘light’ a lot when I was first born.” Phil sat down next to Dan.   
“Yeah, he stopped when he was born the second time.” Martyn rolled his eyes.   
“You’re not helping.” Phil groaned.   
“I wasn’t trying to.”  
“Oh, well, you did achieve that.” Both Dan giggling and Phil’s father arriving stopped them from going on. Phil accidentally held his breath but his father only smiled and said: “Nice to meet you, Dan.” Dan returned the smile and placed a hand onto Phil’s knee.   
His mother soon came back. She was loaded with tea, biscuits and questions for Dan. Dan endured them all diligently and answered them all.  
“If you keep on answering, they’ll keep on asking.” Phil murmured.  
“I’m enjoying this.” Dan whispered back. Phil smiled and shrugged. He was also enjoying this, but it was crucial that Dan was happy.   
“Thank you so much for coming along, Dan.” His mother said at some point. “I’m afraid that we have to go now. Martyn needs one last check through before we can be sure that we don’t have to rush to the hospital over Christmas.”   
“Thank you for having me.” Dan smiled.   
At the door, Phil’s mother handed a bag to each of them. She winked at Phil and knew that there was a teapot in his among other things. “A little present for you.” She smiled.   
“I could not possibly accept this. I have got nothing for you!” Dan was blushing furiously.   
“Nonsense! The smile on your face and the smile you conjure onto Phil’s face is quite enough.” Dan blushed more and hugged Phil’s mother.   
“Merry Christmas!” Phil said and put an arm around Dan’s shoulders.  
“Merry Christmas!” his family and Dan returned. “We’ll see more of you two soon, I’m sure?” his mother asked carefully.   
“Mum!” Martyn hissed, but Phil laughed. “Yes, you will!”   
With another Merry Christmas, they got into the car and drove off. Phil was concentrating on the dark streets and only noticed relatively late that Dan was crying.   
“What is wrong?” he asked concerned.   
Dan smiled at him and sobbed a little before saying: “I have never been this happy.” Phil was driving. So all he could do was squeeze Dan’s knee and get them home quickly and safely. 

Dan’s POV

Waking up in Phil’s bed was good. Waking up alone, without Phil, not so much. Dan accidentally groaned when he realised that he was alone. He heard noise coming from the kitchen. It sounded like crockery clattering but Phil was also unmistakably laughing. Dan wailed again, louder this time.   
“Get up! We’re having breakfast.” Phil shouted from the kitchen. Dan leaned back. He tried to prepare himself for seeing Phil again but he doubted that he would ever really succeed. He got up eventually and walked to the door. He took a deep breath, another one of the useless preparations, and opened the door. He stepped into the kitchen and shivered slightly. It was cold and he was tired. “You’re cruel.” Phil only laughed again in response. Dan was not having this. He walked over to Phil and hugged him. He threw his arms around his waist and pressed himself against him. He was cold and even if he wouldn’t have been, he would not have been able to resist. Dan snuggled into Phil.   
“I’m not cruel.” Phil said at some point.   
“You are.” Dan’s face was pressed into Phil’s shirt and therefore sounded rather muffled. Dan felt Phil moving and nearly sighed when Phil took Dan’s hand and opened the hug. He soon saw that there was no need to sigh as Phil only turned around and in his turn put his arms around Dan’s waist.   
“I’m not.”   
“I need proof for that.” Dan smiled.   
“Well, first of all you get breakfast first thing and secondly we have something to do today so you need to be awake.”  
“Okay, I can see that.” Dan admitted. He was having far too much fun with this. “Do you want to hear my arguments? I had to wake up alone in a bed and have not even been kissed yet.” It was not exactly like Dan to be able to say these things outright but it felt liberating in a way.   
“Oh no.” Also, it lead to great things: Phil gently took Dan’s head into his hands and kissed him. Dan felt Phil shift again. Soon, he was the one leaning against the counter. Dan could not think clearly and was deeply embarrassed to hear himself panting when Phil backed away. “See, you’re cruel.” Dan said and buried his head in Phil’s shoulder. Phil gently stroked Dan’s back and guided him to the table. They started eating in silence but Dan had to ask about their plans at some point.   
“We are visiting my family.” Phil answered. Dan nearly chocked on the toast. Before he recovered enough to say something, Phil said: “I’m so sorry. We don’t have to go. It’s just that you said you could always come with me. Sorry. I should have asked.”   
Dan was able to breathe freely again and raised an arm to signal Phil to stop talking. “No. Sorry. You caught me by surprise. I am fine with visiting your family! Scared, excited, anxious – you pick, but I am fine!”   
“Are you sure?”  
“Yes.” Dan impulsively took Phil’s hand and squeezed a couple of times.   
“This means a lot.”   
“It better.” Dan feared briefly that he had destroyed the mood but they went back to eating in a very comfortable atmosphere. Dan was relieved that he could talk to Phil without feeling in any way weird. For a brief moment, Dan wondered if it should worry him that he was so at ease around Phil but he soon decided to enjoy this new feeling. It had not yet occurred terribly often that he wanted for nothing in any situation.   
After breakfast, Phil started washing the dishes and Dan put all the other things pack into the cupboards.   
“Have you brought anything to wear?” Phil asked.   
“I’m not stupid.” Dan laughed. When he opened the bag he realised that he was actually stupid. There were one and a half pairs of shoes, a tie (?!), a blanket, socks and trousers in the bag. He had been aware that he had not done a terribly good job but he had not expected this! “Actually, I am stupid. I took the blanket and not the jumper.” Dan held the blanket up for Phil to see, he turned around and laughed. “Very funny.”  
“Isn’t it?” Phil came over to Dan and put foam onto his nose. “You can borrow something from me.”   
“Thank you.” Dan said and quickly wiped the foam onto Phil’s neck. Phil shouted: “Oi!”, but Dan was already running into the bedroom. He changed from his pyjamas into the pair of trousers he had worn the day before. He then put on socks and looked for the top he was wearing, only to realise that he obviously did not yet have any top to wear. Dan stepped back into the kitchen, not bothering to put another top on. Phil would not start screaming.  
Dan cleared his throat and Phil turned around. Sure enough, Phil didn’t scream but he did something else Dan had not anticipated: “Wow. You’re beautiful.” Dan could not look at him but he saw that Phil walked over to him. He still didn’t look at him, even when he was standing right in front of him. Only when Phil trailed over Dan’s bare chest, shoulder and arm did Dan’s eyes snap up to look at Phil. How could he do something like this? Dan bit his lip, not wanting to satisfy Phil with a sigh. “You are.” Phil whispered. He leaned closer and kissed Dan lightly. Dan could not say anything. His skin and his lips were tingling, distracting him from everything. Even breathing was hard! Phil did not say anything either but pulled Dan into the bedroom to hand him a jumper.   
“You have a lot of Christmas jumpers.” Dan practically shouted, he had momentarily lost control over the volume.   
“Thank you.” Dan was confused but started laughing. “You’re welcome.” He said, thankful for the carefree atmosphere to be back. They did not speak while getting dressed but Dan didn’t mind. He was actually quite lost in thought. It had just occurred to him that he did not have any presents for Phil. He wasn’t obliged to have one but he would love to have one. He pondered what he could give him all while putting on a shirt, jumper and socks. He thought about all the things he knew about Phil, and nearly started laughing again when he remembered their discussion about keeping tea warm. The only thing he could now think about as a present for Phil was a tea cosy. He tried thinking of something else but soon admitted defeat. Now, he only needed to get his hands on a tea cosy, before tomorrow. Dan remembered his grandmother and took the opportunity to forget his phone in the bedroom and go back to get it when they were about to leave. He quickly told her that he wanted to get a tea cosy for Phil as a present. She was ecstatic about the idea and obviously knew someone that she could buy a tea cosy from. Dan thanked her and they arranged for her to come to the school late in the evening.   
Dan was happy about his cunning plan but started to get nervous again when they were in the car. He had forgotten what this trip really meant. He was about to properly meet Phil’s parents. Phil noticed that Dan was nervous and took his hand. This did not manage to calm Dan entirely though: “Do you think we’re doing this too quickly?”  
“I am not even over the speed limit.” Dan smiled courtly. Phil only wanted to lighten the situation again but Dan was actually a little scared. “If you are not comfortable with something, tell me. I will do whatever you want me to.”   
“Thank you.” Dan said and squeezed Phil’s hand. “This is not all too soon?”  
“For you it might be soon – I’ve been waiting three weeks.”  
“That’s not that long either.”  
“I am comfortable.” Dan nodded and thought this over for a while. “It’s not really romantic though, is it?” he asked.   
“You walked through rain to get to me, and slightly less impressive: I made you breakfast today.” Phil smiled.   
“I’m being stupid.” Dan said and tentatively returned the smile.   
“Correct.”   
The next time they spoke was when Phil stopped the car in front of a cosy looking house. “We’ll be fine.” Phil kissed Dan softly. He opened the door for him in the next moment and kissed him again. “Sorry.”  
“You don’t ever have to apologise for that.” Dan laughed.  
Phil pulled him to the front door. Phil was about to ring the doorbell when they heard a voice. Because Dan knew that it was Martyn behind the door, he was able to recognise the voice. “Mum it’s suspicious if you open the door immediately after they rung.”   
“I would have waited a while.” A woman replied.   
“The door is practically see-through anyways.” Martyn said.   
“It’s also not sound-proof.” Phil said and made his mother scream. Dan felt sorry for her but she was smiling brightly when she opened the door and hugged first Phil and then Dan. “Phil! How nice to see you! And you must be Dan!” Dan did not expect to be so warmly welcomed but he was pleasantly surprised. “Come on in, you two. Tea?” Neither Phil nor Dan could answer before she disappeared into the kitchen. Now Martyn had an opportunity to speak: “Hi, Bulb.” Martyn said to Phil. “Nice to see you again, Dan.” Dan smiled and followed Martyn into the living room when Phil gently pushed him into the right direction.  
“Bulb?” Dan asked. He sat down next to Martyn.   
“Yeah, I used to say ‘light’ a lot when I was first born.” Phil sat down next to Dan.   
“Yeah, he stopped when he was born the second time.” Martyn rolled his eyes.   
“You’re not helping.”   
“I wasn’t trying to.”  
“Oh, well, you did achieve that.” Dan giggled. He was mesmerized by the dynamic between the two brothers.   
Dan did not really register another person entering the room. He nearly jumped when he saw Phil’s father approach him. “Nice to meet you, Dan.” He smiled, and Dan couldn’t not return the smile. He felt quite at home already. In order to let Phil know, he placed a hand onto his knee.   
The rest of the afternoon was incredibly lovely. Phil’s mother brought tea and biscuits. She had a lot of questions to ask. Dan did not feel like he was interrogated. It felt more like he was found interesting which was a very nice sensation. He answered everything as good as he could. Weirdly eager to please.   
Dan was a little sad to be leaving again when Phil’s mother announced that they had to go to the hospital with Martyn. She accompanied them to the door and suddenly pressed a bag into his hand with the words: “A little present for you.”   
“I could not possibly accept this.” Dan said quickly. “I have got nothing for you!” This was embarrassing. He had barely organised a present for Phil and had not managed to think of anyone else.   
“Nonsense! The smile on your face and the smile you conjure onto Phil’s face is quite enough.” Dan felt his face heating up. He did not know what to say so he quickly hugged her.   
“Merry Christmas!” Phil said and put an arm around Dan’s shoulders.  
“Merry Christmas!” Dan answered in chorus with Phil’s family. There was something about seeing each other again soon but Dan was weirdly dazed and did not really notice anything.   
Phil drove off, and Dan suddenly realised that there were tears streaming down his face. After crying silently for a while, Phil suddenly asked: “What is wrong?”   
Dan smiled but sobbed at the first attempt of speaking. Eventually he said: “I have never been this happy.”   
They soon arrived in front of the school. Phil stopped the car and jumped out. He ran to Dan’s door and tore it open. He pulled Dan out of his seat, flush against his chest. He hugged him tightly for a few seconds before loosening the grip and kissing Dan instead. Dan was utterly disappointed when Phil backed away.   
“Let’s go inside.” Phil murmured against Dan’s neck. Dan could hardly say no to that. Just when they walked inside the building, a car pulled onto the parking lot.   
“Oh, that’s my grandmother.” Dan said.  
“Your grandmother?” Phil frowned. “I’ll go back to the apartment.”  
“I’ll be right with you.” Dan assured him. Phil smiled and went into the opposite direction to Dan. Dan walked towards the door. His grandmother did not stop the engine. She didn’t even open the door. She simply opened the window, making Dan wait awkwardly until he could fit his upper body through the gap to give her a hug. “Thank you so much.” He said.   
“You’re more than welcome.” She said and handed him a beautifully wrapped parcel. “If you don’t like the design just let me know.”  
“I’m sure it’s perfect.” Dan said.   
“Have a lovely Christmas Eve.” She said and drove off soon afterwards. Dan waved for a couple of seconds before running back to the school and to Phil’s apartment. He dropped the present where he had left his bag and jumped to hug Phil. Phil laughed and placed his hands onto the small of Dan’s back. Dan was building up enough courage to start kissing Phil, when his phone suddenly started ringing. Dan was rubbish at ignoring calls. He fished out the phone and saw that Patt was calling. Phil seemed to have seen that too because he said: “Oh no, she hates me.”   
“She doesn’t.” Dan said confidently. He had no idea where that confidence came from but he was absolutely positive. Phil pouted but Dan only went into the bedroom and waited for Phil to follow before he answered the call and put it on speaker. “Do you hate Phil?” Dan asked instead of a hello.  
“As if I could hate someone you are so clearly in love with.”   
Dan’s jaw dropped. “How long do you pretend to know that?” he asked. He fell down on the bed. Phil sat down a little behind him and pulled him into his lap.   
“I can’t pinpoint that now.” Patt laughed. “It was simply obvious the way you looked at him and stuff. You decidedly tried not to talk about him too, poor fellow.”  
“But you terrorized me!” Phil chimed in.   
“Hey there, Phil.” Patt laughed. “That was in the early days. Sorry for being wary of you. Won’t happen again.”   
“Already forgiven.” Phil said and massaged Dan’s shoulders. Dan leaned back against him and thought how much earlier he could have enjoyed this.   
“Couldn’t you have told me something?”  
“Things like these are better left to their natural course. You needed to discover it yourself.”  
“Look at you, you wanna-be philosopher.” Dan laughed and snuggled further into Phil. Patt briefly told him why she had called in the first place: She invited them both to come to hers on either boxing day or the day after to have lunch or tea and just talk. Dan immediately agreed. Patt soon hang up and left them listening to each other’s breathing.   
Dan put his phone away. Phil had moved a little while he had done that. He was now lying down properly. Dan dropped down as well and looked at him.   
“Where were you all those times I needed you before?” Phil asked.  
“Here, waiting for you.” Dan said and ruined the cliché with adding: “Not really ‘here’, but you know what I mean.” Phil rolled his eyes and groaned. He then pulled Dan over to him until he was actually lying on top of him. He stared into Dan’s eyes before gently starting to kiss him while letting his hands roamed all over Dan’s body.


	25. December 25th - Monday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got ever so slightly emotional about this being the last chapter. <3 I hope you enjoy! :)

Phil’s POV

Phil had never usually been someone to wake up early. Okay, Christmas Day had always been an exception but not even then had he ever been awake this early and on top of that been so happy to be awake. (Just to clarify: it was not really early and actually possibly considered late for quite a few people, but it was early for Phil.)   
Today, Phil decided not to stir before Dan woke up. He simply wanted to enjoy lying there next to Dan. He also suspected that Dan would be quite happy about this arrangement. It had sounded like he would be, the day before. As Phil thought about the day they had had, he mindlessly started stroking Dan’s hair. It was incredibly soft and smelled divine. Phil stared at the ceiling and concentrated on the feel of Dan’s hair underneath his finger tips and the warmth his entire body radiated, pressed against his own. Lying there like that was pure bliss. For the first time in December Phil felt like Christmas was close. He chuckled quietly when he suddenly remembered that it was Christmas already.   
Phil did not feel Dan stir and yelped a little when he said, all of a sudden: “Morning.” Dan rubbed his eyes and smiled.   
“Merry Christmas, beautiful.” Phil said.  
“Merry Christmas, soppy.” Dan grinned cheekily. He propped himself up on one arm and softly kissed Phil. This was the first time that Dan had initiated a kiss. Phil’s heart beat extra fast because of that. He pulled Dan on top of himself once again before turning them around so that he was pinning Dan down. The kiss was about to get a little out of control. Just in time, Phil managed to pull away. “I could not possibly keep you from opening your presents.” He said when he was sure that he was the master of his own voice again. This was the revenge for Dan’s cheek earlier.   
“Presents?” Dan asked. Phil’s heart melted at the little hiccup in Dan’s voice.  
“Yes. I got you one as well. Nothing major but I think you might like it.” Phil said and pushed himself up. Just when he was nearly off, he let himself fall down again, hovering about Dan, kissing him passionately. He pushed himself up after basically no time had passed. This was really mean but he quite enjoyed Dan looking frustrated. “Sorry. I couldn’t resist.” Phil said. He did feel a little sorry.   
“You’ll pay for this.” Dan said happily and followed Phil out of the bed.   
“Breakfast first or presents?” Phil asked.  
“Presents?! Who in their right mind would choose breakfast?”   
“Not me.” Phil said and walked into the kitchen to get the bag his mother had given him. Dan went over to the door and picked up the small parcel he had seemingly carelessly dropped the evening before. “You got me something?” Phil asked.  
“Yes. Well, my grandma brought it, but it’s technically from me.” Dan explained. Phil slid down the wall at the window to sit in front of the radiator. Dan went over to him and did the same. Phil handed him the present from his mother. “Let’s open this one first.” Phil said.  
“Okay.” Dan said and grinned excitedly. They tore the paper apart. A Christmas jumper fell out of the wrappers for both of them. They were knitted jumpers, mainly red, with green edges and white pattern. Trust his mother to get them matching jumpers for Christmas.   
“They are hideous!” Phil exclaimed happily.  
“I love them.” Dan agreed. They pulled them over their heads and laughed when they looked at each other again.   
“Okay. Now you have to open mine.” Phil announced.   
“You’ll open mine right afterwards though, okay?” Dan asked and handed Phil the parcel in exchange to the one he received. Dan took great care with the wrapping paper. If this was Dan’s revenge for Phil’s revenge, Phil decided not to let it show that he couldn’t wait for Dan to actually open the present.   
Phil was happy to see that the box was plain and did not give away the interior. He was always a little annoyed when it was harder to get to the actual thing due to layers of packaging than it was to figure out what it was due to enormous pictures. Like this, Dan had to open the box to see his present. This he obviously also did as tantalizingly slow as possible. Dan stared at Phil while he opened the lid. Phil met his gaze without letting him know how excited he was. Dan eventually dropped his gaze. He frowned a little but then immediately started laughing violently.   
“What is it?” Phil asked, scared that his mother had tricked him somehow. Dan was still laughing when he pulled out a perfectly ordinary and rather pretty teapot. “What is it?” Phil asked again. Dan only shook his head while continuing to laugh and pointed towards the present in Phil’s hands. Phil frowned but started unwrapping the present. He could not immediately identify the piece of fabric. Slowly he realised what he might be holding in his hand. All of a sudden Dan’s laughter made sense as well. While Phil had gotten Dan a teapot, Dan had gotten him a tea cosy. Phil started laughing as well.   
“Look at my tea hat.” Phil said and put the cosy onto his head.   
“You look amazing.” Dan laughed, holding his stomach.   
“Thank you so much.” Phil said. He feared that it did not sound quite as genuine as it was intended. To make up for that, Phil pulled Dan onto his lap and held him close. Dan’s laughter slowly died down as he snuggled into Phil. “Thank you.” Phil said again and placed a trail of kisses into Dan’s neck. Dan shuddered. “Sorry. You don’t like that?”  
“I like it a little too much.” Dan confessed quietly. Phil held Dan tight until Dan’s stomach started grumbling.   
“Should we have breakfast now?” Phil asked.  
“I don’t really want to leave this position.”   
“I don’t really want you to be hungry.” Phil countered.   
“Fair point.” Dan said and stood up with a deep sigh.   
“You’re a little drama queen, aren’t you?” Phil laughed and stood up as well.  
“I am not.” Dan pouted and crossed his arms.  
“Yes, you are.” Phil said. He placed his hands onto Dan’s shoulders, went on his tip toes and pressed a small kiss onto Dan’s forehead. “Do you want me prepare you a bowl of cereal?”  
“That would be lovely.” Dan said. “I’ll make some tea.” They started working and were done quickly. Without saying much, they settled back into the spot in front of the radiator.   
“I feel like this is the best Christmas ever but also like this doesn’t yet feel actually like Christmas.” Dan said between spoon-fulls of cereal.   
“I know what you mean. This morning I thought that I could finally accept Christmas soon being there but it shocked me to realise that Christmas was today.”   
“Good thing we aren’t German.” Dan said.  
“Pity we’re not Spanish.” Phil said, immediately catching on to Dan’s drift. The German would have celebrated Christmas the evening before whereas quite a few Spanish people would wait until the 6th of January.   
“I’m happy to be British.” Dan said after a while of silence.   
“So am I. If we were Spanish, you would have surely realised my mediocracy far sooner and ran away with a dashing lad from Madrid or something.”  
“Nonsense.” Dan said quickly. “You are the most beautiful person on earth.”   
“Very funny.” Phil said. “I have proof that’s not true. The proof is sitting right in front of me.”   
“Now you’re being ridiculous.” Dan laughed.   
“I think you’re beautiful.”  
“Well, I think you’re beautiful.” Dan shrugged.   
“We’re never going to agree on this.”  
“We don’t have to.” Dan said and leaned against Phil.   
After their rather sparse breakfast, Dan and Phil sat in that position for a while listening to the wind outside. “What would you say to going for a little walk?” Phil asked.  
“I would say: that’s very unlike me, but yes please.” Dan beamed.   
“Let’s put on some proper trousers then, shall we?” Phil asked and stood up.   
“Yes.” Dan said. Phil pulled him up. “Where are we going for that walk?” he asked.  
“I was thinking the school grounds and the little wood behind that. I don’t really want to drive anywhere in order to walk. We can do that another time of course, if that’s alright.”  
“Of course it is. It sounds perfect to me!” They went to the bedroom to get dressed. Phil got a jacket each for them, and they set out. Phil opened the doors for Dan. Dan giggled slightly and never managed to look into Phil’s eyes.   
“Would you mind holding my hand?” Dan asked quietly. He was a few feet ahead of Phil. Phil needed to concentrate in order to be able to hear him. When he understood what Dan had asked him, Phil chuckled and caught up with Dan. He spun Dan around, put his hands onto Dan’s cheeks and kissed him. Phil let go off Dan again. Dan immediately looked away.  
“Do you not like me doing this?” Phil asked. Euphoria had left him immediately.   
“No.”  
“Oh.” Phil stopped walking.  
“Hang on. What exactly are we talking about?” Dan asked.  
“The kissing?” Phil asked  
“Oh lord. No! I like that. I hate you breaking off again.” Dan laughed with bright red cheeks.   
“Would it be better if the breaks in between weren’t as long?”   
“It might.”   
“Attention.”  
“Attention, what?” Dan asked but Phil had already pressed himself against him. “No.” Dan wailed when Phil let go again. Phil pressed another short kiss onto Dan’s lips. “Come on, let’s get this walk over with.” Phil said and grabbed Dan’s hand. They walked into the small wood, and Phil sighed. “This feels just like what Christmas is intended to feel like.”  
“And on what facts to you build that thesis?” Dan laughed. He was about to say something else but Phil interrupted him saying: “If you say that ‘Christmas is a celebration of love’ is an artificial construct, I am going to push you into that pile of leaves.” Phil pointed over to a pile that did not look quite as wet as others around them.   
“I would not have phrased it like that.” Dan said. Phil was already pulling him to the pile and pushing him down. Phil sat on top of Dan, pinning him down. “Hey.”  
“I warned you.” Phil laughed and leaned down to kiss Dan’s nose. “This would have been better with snow.”   
“Nothing is better than this.”  
“Merry Christmas, soppy.” Phil said and kissed Dan properly. 

Dan’s POV

Dan had presumably never been as happy to wake up as he was on that Christmas morning. He did not have to open his eyes to know that Phil was still next to him. Dan noticed that that was basically the only thing he had really wished for that Christmas. After enjoying Phil’s hand running through his hair for a little while longer, Dan opened his eyes. Phil was not looking at him, so Dan said: “Morning.”   
Phil smiled down at him and said: “Merry Christmas, beautiful.”   
“Merry Christmas, soppy.” Dan was not exactly uncomfortable. He simply couldn’t think that Phil was being honest. To make up for the not quite as nice answer, Dan pushed himself up on his elbow and kissed Phil. Only when Phil pulled Dan on top of him, did Dan realise that this had been the first time that he had started kissing Phil and not the other way around. Phil turned them over, so that Dan was lying on the mattress with Phil on top of him. Dan’s hands were on Phil’s waist, and he had nearly built up enough courage to let them wander when Phil suddenly broke away and said: “I could not possibly keep you from opening your presents.”  
“Presents?” Dan asked. That was one word, and yet his voice had managed to stumble.   
“Yes. I got you one as well. Nothing major but I think you might like it.” It looked like Phil was standing up which was in its own way bad enough but him falling down again to kiss Dan again was just cruel. The kiss was the opposite of long but Dan had still managed to lose himself completely. “Sorry. I couldn’t resist.” Dan wasn’t sure if he could believe Phil.   
“You’ll pay for this.” Dan said not quite sure how.   
They walked into the kitchen after deciding to open presents first and then have breakfast. Okay, it wasn’t really a decision. It was more like they realised they both knew only one way to do it.   
“Let’s open this one first.” Phil said as he handed Dan the present Phil’s mum had gotten him.  
“Okay.” Dan was excited. He still couldn’t believe that Phil’s mother had remembered him. He tore the paper apart in sync with Phil. For each of them, a red, green and white Christmas jumper tumbled out of the wrappers.   
“They are hideous!” Phil exclaimed.  
“I love them.” Dan was quite in awe. They were not fancy or chic but they were fun, silly, ridiculous and incredibly soft. Dan wanted to put it on and happily copied Phil when he saw that he was pulling the jumper over his head. Wearing did not make the jumper look a lot better. Dan and Phil started laughing when they looked at each other.  
“Okay. Now you have to open mine.”   
“You’ll open mine right afterwards though, okay?” Dan accepted Phil’s present and handed over his own. Dan was very careful with the wrapping paper. At first, innocently so but then he wondered if Phil would get impatient the longer he took. Even as Dan realised that that did not seem to be the case, he couldn’t suddenly stop. Phil would have realised then that Dan had tried to annoy him, if he was not already aware of that already. Underneath the wrapping paper, there was a plain box. Dan pushed the wrapping paper aside and stared at Phil while opening the lid. The box was open, and Dan looked down. He needed a second to recognise the object in front of him. When he did, he started laughing immediately. Phil had gotten him a teapot! Dan was laughing because of the memories that present evoked but also because he was quite delirious about the fact that they had gotten each other matching presents.   
“What is it?” Phil asked. Dan was unable to answer. He pulled the teapot out of the box and laughed even harder when he saw Phil’s confused expression. “What is it?” Dan shook his head and pointed over to the present in Phil’s hands. Phil was still evidently confused but he slowly opened Dan’s present. He turned the cosy around in his hands and started laughing as well when he had identified its function.   
“Look at my tea hat.” Phil pulled the cosy over his head. Dan would surely have been angry that everything seemed to suit Phil if he would not have been so preoccupied with laughing.   
“You look amazing.”   
“Thank you so much.” Phil pulled Dan onto his lap. Dan’s laughing became quitter until he stopped and snuggled into Phil instead. “Thank you.” Phil said and kissed Dan’s neck repeatedly. Dan had no control over his shudders. “Sorry. You don’t like that?”  
“I like it a little too much.” Dan said honestly. Phil did not start laughing. In fact, he didn’t make any noise, he just held Dan extra close.   
“Should we have breakfast now?” Phil asked when Dan’s annoying stomach had broken the silence.   
“I don’t really want to leave this position.”   
“I don’t really want you to be hungry.”   
“Fair point.” Dan sighed but stood up anyways.   
“You’re a little drama queen, aren’t you?” Phil stood up too.  
“I am not.” Dan crossed his arms.  
“Yes, you are.” Phil went on his tiptoes and pressed a kiss onto Dan’s forehead. They quickly made some tea and filled cereal into a bowl before sitting down again where they had just left from.   
They started eating in silence but soon Dan felt the need to voice his feelings: “I feel like this is the best Christmas ever but also like this doesn’t yet feel actually like Christmas.”   
“I know what you mean.” The flutter in Dan’s stomach whenever Phil agreed with him was surely not normal. “This morning I thought that I could finally accept Christmas soon being there but it shocked me to realise that Christmas was today.”   
“Good thing we aren’t German.”  
“Pity we’re not Spanish.” That was exactly what Dan had hinted at. It was a surreal experience to have Phil understand him with no additional explanation. Dan was amazed and had to try and deal with the intensified flutter before he realised that he had been silent for quite a while. “I’m happy to be British.” he said eventually.   
“So am I.” The unnecessary flutter was back. “If we were Spanish, you would have surely realised my mediocracy far sooner and ran away with a dashing lad from Madrid or something.”  
“Nonsense.” Dan protested. “You are the most beautiful person on earth.”   
“Very funny. I have proof that’s not true. The proof is sitting right in front of me.”   
“Now you’re being ridiculous.”   
“I think you’re beautiful.” Phil sounded genuine enough.   
“Well, I think you’re beautiful.” Dan shrugged.   
“We’re never going to agree on this.”  
“We don’t have to.” Dan was happy with that realisation and leaned against Phil.   
They finished the cereal and two cups of tea each in that position. Dan did not know what Phil was thinking about. He himself was busy not falling asleep again and also listening to Phil’s heartbeat. It was still absolutely surreal that he was actually here right next to Phil.  
“What would you say to going for a little walk?” Phil asked when they were done.  
“I would say: that’s very unlike me, but yes please.” Dan had the suspicion that anything would be great fun as long as he did it together with Phil.   
“Let’s put on some proper trousers then, shall we?”   
“Yes.” Phil pulled Dan up after getting up himself. “Where are we going for that walk?” Dan asked.  
“I was thinking the school grounds and the little wood behind that. I don’t really want to drive anywhere in order to walk. We can do that another time of course, if that’s alright.”  
“Of course it is. It sounds perfect to me!” They were soon dressed and ready to go. Phil lent Dan a jacket and gentlemanly opened all the doors for Dan to go through. Dan was touched but also fairly embarrassed by that attention. It was ever so slightly colder outside than Dan had imagined. That was enough for him to justify asking: “Would you mind holding my hand?”   
There was not an immediate reaction from Phil. Dan already started to worry when Phil suddenly spun Dan around and kissed him. Dan’s knees buckled a little but he managed to stay upright. Phil broke away as suddenly as he had kissed Dan. Dan looked away. He did not want Phil to be able to see the disappointment in his eyes. Dan felt silly for showing so much of a reaction when Phil seemed to cope rather well.   
“Do you not like me doing this?” Phil asked.   
“No.” Dan answered honestly. There was no use denying something so evident.   
“Oh.” Phil stopped.  
“Hang on.” Dan said. Something did not seem right about Phil’s reaction. “What exactly are we talking about?”   
“The kissing?” Phil asked  
“Oh lord. No!” Fortunately, this needed to be explained. Dan had no time to wallow in embarrassment. “I like that. I hate you breaking off again.” Dan laughed to ease the tension and also to make him forget about his undoubtedly red face.   
“Would it be better if the breaks in between weren’t as long?” Phil’s voice was cheerful again.   
“It might.”   
“Attention.”  
“Attention, what?” Dan had barely pronounced the words when Phil kissed him again. Unfortunately, he broke off again far too soon. “No.” Dan sounded pathetic. Phil smiled and kissed Dan again, for an unsatisfactory small amount of time, though. “Come on, let’s get this walk over with.” Phil said and took hold of Dan’s hand. Dan could live with that. Phil sighed contently a few moments later. He said: “This feels just like what Christmas is intended to feel like.”  
“And on what facts to you build that thesis?” Dan laughed. Phil would not mind his lecture, he was sure but before he could start arguing, Phil interrupted him: “If you say that ‘Christmas is a celebration of love’ is an artificial construct, I am going to push you into that pile of leaves.”   
That was indeed vaguely like the thing Dan would have said, so he said: “I would not have phrased it like that.” Also, being pushed into a pile of leaves by Phil weirdly sounded more like a promise than a threat.   
“Hey.” Dan said anyways, when he was lying in the pile, Phil on top.   
“I warned you.” Phil laughed. He pressed a tiny kiss onto Dan’s nose and whispered: “This would have been better with snow.”   
“Nothing is better than this.”  
“Merry Christmas, soppy.” Dan should have known not to make such a comment. He rolled his eyes but couldn’t really complain when Phil started kissing him again. At the same time, Dan was hot with blood pulsing through his veins but he was also cold because of the leaves underneath him. It was him for the first time, who turned away slightly and broke off the kiss.   
“Sorry. I’m a little cold.” Dan said.   
“I am so sorry.” Phil sounded concerned and pulled him up. “Do you want to go back immediately?” Dan contemplated his answer. Sure, going back would mean all sorts of good things but he could experience those later and enjoy the Christmas walk.   
“No. Let’s finish the walk.” Dan said. Dan suspected that Phil was equally eager to get home. Phil cut over a large field instead of going around it and they were walking quicker as well. Dan didn’t mind. At least he was warm like this.   
Back at the school, Phil opened all the doors for Dan and ushered him inside. He put the kettle on and was back to help Dan out of his jacket before Dan had moved an inch. “Sorry that I don’t have a proper present for you.” Phil said as he hung the jacket over a hook.   
“Neither have I. Also, letting me stay here is present enough.”  
“Oh! I wouldn’t even have had to kiss you?” Dan’s jaw dropped, and he looked down.   
“I’m only teasing you, darling.” Phil said and pulled Dan in around his waist. “Have I ever told you that you have appallingly low standards?” Phil asked when Dan had dared to look up again.   
Dan nodded. “You are beyond anyone’s standards though.” His arms wound around Phil’s waist as if they had a mind of their own.   
“We can’t seem to settle who’s the soppiest.” Phil chuckled and gently nuzzled Dan’s neck.  
“I suspect that I am in love with you.” Dan whispered.   
“Woah!” Phil backed away and raised his arms in defeat. “You win!”   
“Really, very funny.” Dan said and hid his head in Phil’s shoulder.   
“I love you.” Phil whispered right into Dan’s ear. Dan shuddered and giggled a little. Phil kissed Dan softly. At first Dan was disappointed again when Phil broke apart but for the rest of the day they did not go without kissing each other for more than a minute.   
Phil was taking a shower when Dan prepared some baked beans. Phil came back and spooned Dan from behind. “See, I don’t like them as a breakfast but as long as you make them and it’s past 10 am, I’m fine.” Dan laughed and leaned against Phil. He had the feeling that even this seemed to be a small moment, he would forever remember it. This is when he started to learn all sorts of things about Phil. He could not wait for the rest that was there for him to discover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who has read my story and left kudos or comments. I value and appreciate them a lot!  
> Have the best Christmas. Eat and be merry! <3   
> I'll see you again some other time on this site.   
> Love you! <3

**Author's Note:**

> See you tomorrow! <3 :)


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